Chudney Ross Has Got To Be Kidding!
I wake without an alarm to the sound of the waves in my beachside Malibu Colony home. I rollover and snuggle with a hunky Brody Jenner type guy (Brody is NOT by dream guy, but he sure is good looking ;) I feel content and relaxed as I stretch and go through my morning routine. Outside, I munch on a handful of bacon (I love bacon and would eat it every day if it weren’t so damn unhealthy) as I walk in the sand and let the dogs run off leash on the beach. I chat with Pamela Anderson also walking her dogs and have a laugh with my neighbor Jim Carrey.I would hop into my Porsche or BMW convertible (How awesome would it be to have a convertible sports car and an SUV parked in your garage?) and head to the Coffee Bean. In my dream world I would not give up my English breakfast tea latte (but there would never be a line and the sun would always hit the patio just right). I would sit and read trashy magazines (I love In Touch and US Weekly) and write (I would NEVER have writers block. Words would always flow freely out my fingertips ;) I would put my phone on vibrate while enjoying the sun since it would never stop ringing with calls from my agents (lots of hosting and writing offers would always be coming in).
Jessica Simpson and I would eat lunch bikini clad and poolside at the Mondrian Hotel (the goat cheese salad is to die for) with mimosas in hand. They would never bug me or ask if I was a guest of the hotel. After lunch, I would meet up with Sienna Miller to go shopping (I love her style) on Robertson (Lisa Kline, Kitson, Madison). I would not fret about the price tags. With my car full of my purchases, I would return home down the PCH wind blowing in my hair and there would never be traffic.
I would watch the sunset snuggled on a blanket in the sand with my guy and the world would feel safe and complete. We would shower (My mind gets dirty here, but lets keep it clean kids ;) in a steam shower with jets all over and from every angle. A make up and hair artist would be on hand to transform me into a Hollywood Bombshell with cascading curls, smoky eyes, red lips and huge eyelashes. I would choose my outfit from gorgeous (free) designer dresses that my stylist had chosen and dropped off earlier in the day (I would never wear the same outfit twice).
A chauffer driven escalade would be outside waiting to take me and all my friends to dinner at Mr. Chows (My biggest issue with LA is driving at night. DON’T DRINK AND DRIVE!) We would be joined by Beyonce, Nicole Richie and Kirsten Dunst (they seem like they would be fun additions to my social circle). We would chow on crispy beef, chicken Satay, lettuce cups (I LOVE Mr. Chows) and sip rose champagne (I love champagne!!). Everyone would laugh and have a great time.
Of course, we would hit the clubs (which ever is the hottest for that night) and walk right in without any stress. I would dance with ¬¬Britney Spears (a sober and healthy Britney from the past) laugh with Cameron Diaz, flirt with Enrique Inglesias and when the lights come up, I would return home to my Peanut waiting (not barking) for me to get in bed for a snuggle.
Good Night Dream World!
I think its possible! Don’t you?
I can’t wait to see what the future brings!!
She looks like Beetlejuice from the Howard Stern Show.
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