Denise Richards Keeps Temporary Custody Of Brooke Mueller’s Twins

Earlier today, I wrote about how Brooke Mueller sent her lawyers to court to try to take temporary custody of her twin boys from Denise Richards and give it to her brother in Orange County. Charlie Sheen wanted Denise Richards to keep temporary custody of his kids and his lawyers argued that Brooke was only after the $55,000 a month in child support. A MESS! And when Charlie Sheen, whose brain is a pile of coke mush, comes out as a voice of reason, you know shit is a real mess.

Well, they all argued in front of a judge today and the judge told Brooke’s lawyers the same thing an ATM told me when I tried to get $120 out of it the other day: “DENIED!” The judge basically told Brooke’s lawyers that knitting a peen cozy out of their own pubes would’ve been a better use of their time than coming into court to ask for some dumb shit. A source told Radar:

“[The judge] flatly denied Mueller’s request to to have Denise stripped of temporary custody, and placed in the care of her brother in Orange County. There was absolutely no reason that could justify the move, which would only uproot the twins yet again

Brooke’s claims that Denise was only taking care of the boys for financial gain fell flat because the actress signed a sworn declaration that she had refused money from Charlie. Denise’s declaration also went on to say that she didn’t want any money EVER for her care of the boys.

Brooke just doesn’t seem to grasp the seriousness of the situation involving custody of the boys. She is used to just snapping her fingers, and having her lawyers work their magic, and make the problem go away. This isn’t being heard in family court, the fact it’s in child dependency court because of her actions is extremely serious. She should stop wasting the courts resources and focus on what is best for the boys, and not her self-interest.”

And after Brooke told her rehab mate at Betty Ford, Lindsay Lohan, about this, LiLo’s mind boggled around for a few seconds before she said, “The judge denied you? They can do that?“

Brooke Mueller Doesn’t Want To Lose Her Child…..Support Checks

While Brooke Mueller dries out (or snorts lines of Sanka) with Lindsay Lohan in Betty Ford, her lawyers are trying to get a judge to pull her twin boys out of Denise Richards’ arms, because she wants her brother to take care of them instead. Almost two weeks ago, social services found some suspect shit at Brooke Mueller’s house and the Sheen twins were taken away and given to Denise Richards temporarily. Denise expected to take care of the boys until Brooke cleaned herself up. But TMZ says that Brooke wants her brother to have custody of her 4 year olds and her decision has everything to do with MONAY!

According to TMZ, Charlie Sheen is onto Broke Mule’s schemes and thinks she only wants her brother to have custody of the twins, because she doesn’t want to let go of the $55k she gets in child support a month. Charlie’s lawyers are in court today to EXPOSE Brooke’s scheme. Brooke’s lawyers will argue that Denise is the gold digging twat who is using her twins to get that monthly check.

TMZ’s source says that Charlie has offered to give Denise money to take care of his twins, but she turned him down and doesn’t want one penny from him. Denise also has text messages from Brooke where Brooke admits that she needs those child support checks.

Denise has taken care of the Sheen twins for a long period of time before, so let’s see…. The boys can either stay in a home they know or they can be ripped out of yet another house and put into a different one. Brooke Mueller is so damn dumb. There’s clearly an easy way for her to get everything she wants: a $55,000 check every month and zero parental responsibility. All she has to do is let Denise Richards keep custody of her boys and tell Denise that if she doesn’t hand over $55,000 every month, she’ll text her this picture every morning:

Nobody wants to live under that kind of fear. Denise’s only response would be, “What’s your account and routing number?”

And here’s pictures from earlier this year of Brooke looking like a mash-up of Axl Rose and Russell Brand.

Denise Richards Now Has Temporary Custody Of Charlie Sheen And Brooke Mueller’s Twins

Denise Richards better be showing Brooke Mueller an episode of The World According To Paris (aka TWAT P) on her phone and telling that mess to look at her life choices.

Radar says that socials workers from Children and Family Services in L.A. have yanked Brooke Mueller’s twins, Bob and Max, out of her care and not only because she wears jeans like that out in public. Brooke Mueller is still hooked on the bad shit and I guess those judgy social workers think that it’s wrong to let her kids play with her used crack pipe, so away the twins went. Since Charlie Sheen is a disaster himself and shouldn’t even be allowed to take care of a piece of dried up foreskin, the twins were given to Denise Richards AGAIN. Radar’s source said this about the whole mess:

“Brooke was given many opportunities by social workers to clean up her act. Social workers felt that Bob and Max weren’t safe in Brooke’s care. The decision was made late on Thursday afternoon, and the boys are no longer in Brooke’s care. It’s expected at some point the boys will be taken care of by Charlie Sheen’s ex-wife, Denise Richards, who has cared for them in the past when Brooke went to rehab. She (Richards) loves the boys & their safety and well being mean everything to her. Bob & Max are safe & that is all the matters. Denise is simply complying with the court order.”

Who knew that the former robot call girl would turn out to be a savior to all of Charlie Sheen’s kids and transform her house into an orphanage for mistreated and down-and-out Sheen kids? Denise Richards should take care of Charlie Sheen’s adopted crackhead daughter Lindsay Lohan next. Denise is obviously a good parent, because I’m guessing she’s the one who taught that little girl how to throw a side-eye that all the kids in the playground will run from.

Here’s pictures from last year of messy ass Brooke and Denise hanging out in Malibu. Yes, I’ve already gotten on my knees and worshiped the peroxide and neon beauty in the background.

The “Over The Moon” Watch: Denise Richards Edition

Denise Richards usually looks like she was just caught in the headlights of a spaceship that flew over the moon on an empty tank of gas before crashing outside of Charlie Sheen’s octagon, but that doesn’t mean she has the right to commit a first-degree OVER THE MOON violation, but she just did! Denise has adopted a new baby friend from here in the US and announced it on Twatter last night:

Thank you all for your sweet messages. The girls and I are over the moon and so is my dad Grandpa Irv…xo
11 hours ago via web

Denise named her third daughter Eloise Joni after her mother who died of cancer 4 years ago.

Look, my soul is planking over a puddle of happiness (not really) that Denise got herself a baby who doesn’t have a drop of tiger blood and doesn’t have to play nice with the warlock’s whores every other week. Good for her etc..etc… But Denise going satellite humping over adopting a kid is inexcusable as is her stuffing words into Grandpa Irv’s mouf! Grandpa Irv would never beat the dead moon with his mouth like so many celebwhores do!

Denise knows what it feels like to have overexcited strangers on top of her and yet she does the same thing to the moon?! Shame: I’m serving Denise a giant cup of some!

And woe is Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller’s twin boys, because even though they wrote “PLEASE SAVE US” in their slobber on Denise’s driveway every morning, she didn’t get the hint. Oh, well, they can always resubmit their transfer applications to the wolves again.

via UsWeekly

Charlie Sheen Killed A Pug?!!!

The block in hell reserved exclusively for pug murderers just got a Charlie Sheen nameplate bonded to the bars of one of its cells, because TMZ is saying that a wrinkly faced dog is snoring in heaven thanks to the ash-fisted alley cat troll. Charlie Sheen spewed out this Tweet earlier this morning after his ex-wife Denise Richards refused to hand over the pug that was living at a house. It’s not that Denise is afraid the tiger blood in Charlie’s system will take over and he’ll eat the face off her pug. Denise is afraid that her pug will die of malnourishment after weeks of trying to survive on cigarette butts, shower water stuck between the tiles and old crack rock residue. This is what allegedly happened to Denise’s other pug. Yeah, I’m not even done telling this story and it’s already getting 5 out of 5 sad pugs:

When Denise and Charlie split up, she let him take care of her 2 pugs so that their daughters could play with them at his house during visits. The pugs were doing okay until Charlie’s chandelier-murdering breakout at the Plaza hotel. Shortly after that, Denise started hearing that her pugs weren’t being fed and were in a bad way. Denise rescued her dogs from Charlie, but sadly one died of malnourishment. And now Charlie wants the other pug to be the mascot of his tour bus, so he wants it back. Denise isn’t going to let that happen.

Julian Sands is the only warlock in my eyes, and he wears specially made silk gloves when he pets a pug out of fear that he’ll be too rough with it. And Charlie Sheen let one die a slow painful death?! If this is true, who in Satan’s cunt hell does he think he is? Ina Garten?!

I could sprain my finger tips from writing all the things that should happen to Charlie Sheen, but instead I’ll just say that I hope he comes back as one of Parasite Hilton’s dogs in his next life.

Denise Richards Doesn’t Trust A Winning Warlock With Her Kids

A warlock who’s a blood relative of Tony the Tiger sounds like a character you might rent for your kid’s birthday party, but Denise Richards isn’t about to leave her daughters inside the octagon fortress of duh winning. Besides a few Tweets her and there, Denise has kept her lips shut on the Sheenanigans of Charlie. However, TMZ says that Denise would rather let a coagulated tiger blood ball and a warlock’s anus take care of her 6-year-old and 5-year-old than let them spend a second with Charlie Sheen.

Apparently, Denise believes what Brooke Mueller said about how Charlie proclaimed his hate for her and told his goddesses that he wanted to shave her head off. Denise believes it, because when she turned down Charlie’s invitation for a family portrait (including Brooke, her twin boys and the goddesses), he released his rage on her in the form of several text messages. Denise also has reason to believe that one of Charlie’s goddesses is still hitting that crack pipe.

Denise is doing the right thing. Charlie is currently fiery fists deep in an epic battle against the maggots and trolls, and we all know that a war zone is no place for little girls. And by that I mean Charlie might throw another tantrum when they bring their Barbie dolls out into the garden while his warlock action figure throws “pow pow pows” at actual maggots in the soil.

Denise also doesn’t have to worry about Charlie for a while. Right after he jumped on his mercury surfboard and rode it all the way to Asia, he was captured by the Japanese.

And here I was thinking that it would take a media blackout to turn Charlie Sheen’s #winning into #losing when it really just takes a stick and a volleyball net.

via Videogum