Chicken Cutlets vs. “A Drunk Stupid Bitch”

Since international supermodel sensation Phoebe Price has kissed and made up with her arch rival Quween on the Scene, she needs a new nemesis to battle with on the mean streets of Famewhoreville. That’s where this blonde lady comes in. We’ll call her Tina Yothers for now. Yesterday at The Grove, Tina Yothers went after our very own Miss Hot Babe of 2007. Tina Yothers accused PP of treating her mother/umbrella handler like shit! That’s when PP’s cutlets started boiling and she let the hag have it with some Dlisted-approved phrases like “pyscho bitch.”

As if my cutlet obsession wasn’t already at a Level 10, this has skyrocketed it off the charts! Seeing and hearing PP say “Hi whore”, is a spiritual experience. Seriously, this video has become my new Sunday mass! Chicken Cutlets chirping to Tina Yothers “you’re a drunk stupid bitch” is so my new ringtone. That’s how people greet me anyway, so it might as well be my ringtone friend too! Fuckery to my eaaaaars…..

AND AND AND AND AND Phoebe Price also revealed that she’s going to be a guest judge on season 2 of RuPaul’s Drag Race!!!! !!! !! ! !!!! !!! ! God, you really have been listening to my drunken prayers in the middle of the night. You really have……

VIA The Genius Machine

Spaghetti Cat Is Dlisted Hot Slut Of 2008!!!!!!!!!

The whores of Dlisted have spoken! Spaghetti Cat has been crowned Hot Slut of 2008 with a total of 21,210 votes! Spaghetti Cat only got 116 more votes than Rojo Caliente. This was a death match to the end! Bitches from both campaigns e-mailed me with accusations of voter fraud! There will not be a recount. Spaghetti Cat is the winner. I mean, last year’s “Hot Babe of the Year” Phoebe Price has already handed over her crown, sash and royal dildo.

If Spaghetti Cat is unable to fulfill his duties or he runs out of 9 lives, Rojo Caliente will be crowned as his replacement. I will get drunk on Bud at Home Depot in Chelsea tonight to mourn Rojo’s loss…. One day my no-heart will go on…..

While I try to heal, let’s all congratulate Spaghetti Cat as our 4th Hot Slut of the Year following in the slutsteps of Bai Ling, Harvey Price and international supermodel Phoebe Price.

Thanks to all you skanks for voting! And also thanks to everyone who submitted a Hot Slut request in ’08!

Hot Slut Of 2008: Last Chance Voting!

Voting for the biggest honor in the world Hot Slut of the Year ends today at 3pm EST so vote! Vote! Vote! Voooooote! Vote with all your life. Put your genitals on the keyboard and let them vote. Vote! Right now it’s down to Spaghetti Cat and Rojo Caliente. It’s a fight to the finish between the black pussy and the red pussy! Unfortunately, La Pequeña can head to the open bar now and then wait in the corner, because she’s pretty much out of it. Always the lil’ bridesmaid, never the lil’ bride.

The winning winner of all winners will be announced around 4pm or however long it takes me to make some janky ass picture.

Again, voting is in the right sidebar. Vooooote!

(Thanks to Evan for images from obamiconme)

Who Is Hot Slut Of The Year?

The time has arrived! After ten million rounds and eleventy gazillion votes, we finally have a final 3! Now is the time to vote for who will go on to the final 2. I’m joking. This is IT it. You already know La Pequeña, Spaghetti Cat and Rojo Caliente intimately, so I don’t need to tell you about them. But I do need to tell you that this is the most important decision you will make this year. Okay, second most after which candy bar you should eat for a 5pm snack. Go for the Almond Joy. Almonds have protein, right?

You have until Friday to vote. And then I will announce the greatest slut of our time (aka 2008). There will be a lavish ceremony and international supermodel Phoebe Price will pass her crown and bestow a few words of wisdom on our newest leader. Not really, I’ll probably just make a low-budget gif or some shit.

Voting is in the sidebar to the right. Vote with your life!

Hot Slut Of 2008: The Finalists!

Rojo Caliente did it! She beat out Abandoned Couch and won round 3 for Hot Slut of the Year with 50% of the votes. Abandoned Fucking Couch got 23%. WTF. I guess I can kind of understand. I’ve laid down on my fair share of abandoned couches while drunk. Sometimes you just really want to sit on a couch while fighting the booze barf and bam! There’s a couch on the sidewalk. And this one did save a car….. Anyway, Rojo’s win rounds out the final 3 which includes La Pequena and Spaghetti Cat. This is the greatest final 3 in Dlisted history!

Voting will start on Monday, because you need time to really think about who you will vote for. This is the biggest decision of your LIFE. And if you believe in reincarnation, this is the biggest decision you will make in all your LIVES. All.

Hot Slut Of 2008: Round 3

Round 2 wasn’t even close. Spaghetti Cat proved that even though his creators have died (see below), he will go on! SC noodled off (I know, but he doesn’t run) with 67% of the votes leaving Michelle Duggar’s super snatch behind. Now on to our third round. The slut who wins this round will go on to dick fight Spaghetti Cat and La Pequena in the final finals. Here are your choices:

September: Abandoned Couch – Seriously, it’s an abandoned couch. That’s it!
October: Clara Meadmore – The 105-year-old virgin! And she’s still alive!
November: Kim Zolciak – Fake cancer survivor and the place where wigs go to die.
December: Rojo Caliente – No explanation needed.

I swear, Abandoned Couch is going to pull some shit. I know it! Seriously, I know most of you don’t have hearts, so vote with your genitals. It will point you to the right choice. Voting is in the sidebar to the right. The final slut in the finals will be announced sometime tomorrow. You know, whenever I feel like getting my lazy ass out of bed.