Category:
Chris Appleton Confirms He’s “Very Much In Love” With Lukas Gage
There’s a good reason why you won’t see a triangle of sadness on Kim Kasdashian’s hairstylist’s face, and it has nothing to do with neurotoxin injections. Chris Appleton is in love and doesn’t care who knows it! In fact, he wants everyone to know it. While appearing on The Drew Barrymore Show, 39-year-old Chris couldn’t “help but to gush over his new relationship” with 27-year-old former tiny apartment dweller and actor Lukas Gage. Consummate multi-tasker that he is, Chris managed to synthesize his love for Lukas, smoothies, and cross-promotional sponcon in one fell swoop. And to think they said it wouldn’t last! Chris even shared an intimate snapshot from the couple’s recent Mexican vacation, in case Drew’s viewers missed it three weeks ago when Chris and Lukas debuted their partnership on Instagram.
Ryan Reynolds Will Make A Mint From T-Mobile’s $1.35 Billion Purchase of His Company Mint Mobile
With four mouths to feed, who could begrudge Jr. tycoon Ryan Reynolds a dime of his hard-invested dollars. Especially considering that the free mammy services he and his wife, Blake Lively, got as part of their plantation wedding package expired years ago. Paid labor costs a pretty penny, especially in #thesetryingtimes. So good thing Ryan and Blake’s kids are set for life, and their kids are set for life, and their kids are set for life now that another one of Ryan’s ships has finally come in. Variety reports that T-Mobile has just acquired Ka’ena Corp., the parent company of Mint Mobile, a wireless phone company that Ryan owns a 25% stake in, “in a deal worth up to $1.35 billion.” Meanwhile, Ryan’s Deadpool co-star Hugh Jackman is still getting fat the old-fashioned way.
Prince Andrew Is Reportedly “IN DESPAIR” Over Not Inheriting Any Of His Mummy THE QUEEN’s Estate
Since he’s absolutely done nothing wrong, I can understand why Prince Andrew, one of THE QUEEN’s only sons, is reportedly “in despair” that his rather homely older brother, King Charles III was the sole benefactor of their late mother THE QUEEN’s nearly $800M tax-free estate. Having myself been an only child, I can only imagine the humiliation and sadness he must feel. At least I got a 1999 Nissan Sentra when my mom kicked the bucket, but according to The Independent, Andrew has been left not only penniless but might be left with only his deceased father Prince Phillip’s Land Rover to drive. Which is indubitably haunted!
Lindsay Lohan Announced She’s Pregnant With Her First Child
The children of Moscow can rest easy tonight knowing that alleged attempted child napper Lindsay Lohan is pregnant with a child of her own. She has announced that she’s expecting her first child with her husband, Bader Shammas. Lindsay’s come a long way since those dark times, and people are asking, “is this a sign that a glorious new day is upon us?” As we know from our scriptures, no Lohanaissance is complete until five things occur, kinda like the seven seals of the apocalypse but more festive, and there are only five. They are as follows:
Pauly Shore Either Loved Or Hated That Jimmy Kimmel Made A Joke About Him At The Oscars
There are two sides to every story, and sometimes there are even two sides to each side of every story. Such is the case with the cast of 1992’s Encino Man which starred first-time Oscar winner Brendan Fraser, first-time Oscar winner Ke Huy Quan and multiple Razzies winner Pauly Shore. According to Entertainment Weekly, Pauly, the winner of Worst New Star of the Year for Encino Man “loved it” when Oscar host Jimmy Kimmel poked fun at him in his opening monologue. But according to Page Six, the winner of Worst New Star of the Decade for the 1990s reminded them that “human beings have feelings,” and his were apparently hurt when Jimmy suggested that “maybe it’s time to reboot Bio-Dome” a movie for which Pauly won Worst Actor of the Year.
Blac Chyna’s New Life Journey Includes A Breast Reduction And Having The Silicone Removed From Her Ass
Just when we thought we’d finally live long enough to see what these newfangled fake asses look like after decades of hard sitting, Blac Chyna ups and decides to embark on a “life-changing journey” that includes getting her “breast and Gluteus maximus” reduced. Vibe reports that Chyna has shared parts of her journey on Instagram to inspire others to think twice before letting some doctor inject their ass with industrial-grade silicone just so their career can peak with getting knocked up by the poorest and least popular Kardashian. Ladies, don’t do it—it’s just not worth it!