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Open Post: Hosted By The Beautification Of Saint George

July 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Some folks in Spain are fired up over the recent restoration of a 16th century statue of San Jorge (Saint George), a dragon slaying knight. St. George has been living in the Church of St. Michael in the town Estella for a minute. According to Huffington Post, he got to looking a little wan and tired, as you might expect after posting up in church for some 500 years. George needed a spa day like last century, so the church asked a local workshop to get him together. Off went Old Georgie for a little tune up, and he came back with his face beat for the God’s. However, some experts weren’t so pleased with the result. I guess Georgie boy isn’t supposed to look like Pee-wee Herman on a Quaalude bender.

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Melissa Meeks Shakes It Off With A Strip Club Divorce Party

July 2, 2018 / Posted by:

I love a happy ending, don’t you? As Gold Diggers Hall Of Fame Presents: The Legend Of Prison Bae wraps up its first season, we can take time to reflect on fairy tale ending for The Felon, The Heiress and The Nurse. In last week’s episode, Jeremy Meeks and ex-wife Melissa Meeks finalized their divorce with Jeremy securing primary custody of the couple’s 9-year-old son Jeremy Jr. Melissa was offered a 6-figure payout for this arrangement and is now moving on with her life.  In fact, she recently celebrated her freedom with a blow out divorce party held at Crazy Horse 3 in Las Vegas.

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Amy Poehler Got Real When Asked A Bunch Of Inane Questions

June 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Perpetually perky blonde Amy Poehler landed herself on The Hollywood Reporter’s “The 40(ish) Most Powerful People in Comedy” list under the category “The Movie Stars”. For her segment, they asked Amy a list of dumb fluff questions; the kind you might find in a dozen different magazines you leaf through while waiting in line at the checkout stand. Amy answered all the questions, but she did it on her terms. It turns out Amy’s turned her smile all the way upside down and is not here for the bullshit, not in #thesetryingtimes.

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Kathy Griffin Called Out Kevin Hart For Not Doing Trump Jokes

June 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Nobody tells Kathy Griffin what she can or cannot talk about in her comedy routine. Even more so since she’s become something of a First Amendment activist in the wake of her bloody Trump head stunt. Too bad she doesn’t think Kevin Hart deserves the same freedom of speech. In an interview, Kathy called Kevin a “pussy” for not doing Donald Trump jokes “because he’s a black man”. Oh Kathy, Kathy, Kathy.

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Stanley Tucci Is A Daddy For The 5th Time, But Also In General

June 14, 2018 / Posted by:

A new Tucci has arrived! Stanley Tucci and his wife Felicity Blunt, welcomed their second child together a couple of months ago. They had a girl named Emilia Giovanna, born April 19th. Stanley has three other kids from a previous marriage (he was widowed in 2009). Felicity is a literary agent and Emily Blunt‘s sister. Stanley actually has a lot in common with babies. He’s short, bald, and a lot of women would probably let him stick his head in their vagina.

The last time Stanley and Felicity made a baby together, they had jokes for People magazine. When their son Matteo Oliver was born in 2015, Tucci said “I believe he is mine. We are all thrilled to welcome him to this cold, cruel world.” In keeping with family tradition, Stanley came up with a new wisecrack for People to mark Emilia’s arrival.

“Hopefully she will have the looks and brains of her mother and one of my better personalities,” Tucci, 57, jokes to PEOPLE of his new baby girl.

I like it. If you are going to live in the rarefied air of a celebrity family, you might as well have a little fun with it. In fact, he should retroactively give his other kids People birth announcement jokes. He’s got 18-year-old twins, he could call People and be all “I am proud to finally announce the arrival of Nicolo and Isabel. I guess they took a wrong turn at the fallopian tube because these babies are huge! One of them even has a beard”. Ok, that was pretty sweaty.  God, I hope Felicity, doesn’t read this post. Otherwise I can kiss my dreams of a book deal goodbye. I should really leave making babies, and making jokes about making babies, to the professionals.

Pic: Wenn.com

Rachel Bloom Set The Record Straight About That Neil Patrick Harris Tweet

June 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Neil Patrick Harris wasn’t at the Tony Awards last weekend, but he still managed to make his presence known by live tweeting the event. That’s actually too generous. He popped off with a handful of “observations”, one of which sounded an awful lot like an “I don’t know her” joke directed towards Rachel Bloom who was working the backstage beat for the show. Turns out it wasn’t a joke. Doogie must actually suffer from prosopagnosia, because Rachel gave an interview with GQ and read Doogie for filth. But in a nice way.

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