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Open Post: Hosted By Publix’s Cum-Less Graduation Cake 

May 22, 2018 / Posted by:

Note to self: NEVER go to a Publix bakery to order my usual birthday gift to myself, which is a cream-filled, dick-shaped cake with the words “Happy Birthday, You Stupid Cum Dumpster Whore” written between frosting flowers. Because the Publix bakery doesn’t appreciate the finer words in the English language. Cara Koscinski learned this the embarrassing way when Publix censored the word “c*m” from her son’s graduation cake.

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Duchess Meghan Began Her Full-Time Job Of Wearing Pantyhose At Events

May 22, 2018 / Posted by:

Duchess Meghan and Prince Hot Ginge got married three days ago, and so they should be fucking their sand-covered genitals off in a Sandals Resort room as THE QUEEN examines their mating skills with a magnifying glass to make sure the banger is going in the mash all the way. (Again, they still do that tradition, right?) But it’s hard out there for a British royal, because they had to go back to work today.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 22, 2018 / Posted by:

Dawkins, the monkey who got San Antonio International Airport twisted up yesterday afternoon when he got out of his crate and caused a scene!

Animals have been going through it at airports and on airplanes. They’ve been flushed down the toilet by their dumb fuck human after an airline refused to acknowledge them as an emotional support animal and let them on a flight. They’ve suffocated to death in an overhead bin coffin after some dead-hearted piece of trash flight attendant ordered their human to put them in there. So now they’re rising up!

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Birthday Sluts

May 22, 2018 / Posted by:

Katie Price (40)
Novak Djokovic (31)
Camren Bicondova (19)
Morgan Stewart (30)
Julian Edelman (32)
Molly Ephraim (32)
Apolo Ohno (36)
Daniel Bryan (37)
Nazanin Boniadi (38)
Maggie Q (39)
Ginnifer Goodwin (40)
Sean Gunn (44)
A.J. Langer (44)
Alison Eastwood (46)
Annabel Chong (46)
Naomi Campbell (48)
Michael Kelly (50)
Brooke Smith (51)
Johnny Gill (52)
Marlene King (56)
Morrissey (59)
Denise Welch (60)
Bernie Taupin (68)
Barbara Parkins (76)
Harvey Milk (1930-1978)
Laurence Olivier (1907-1988)

Pic: Wenn.com

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Night Crumbs

May 21, 2018 / Posted by:

Because I know your eyelids were unable to fall into the sleep position from wondering what Katy Perry thinks of Duchess Meghan’s wedding dress, Katy gave her official review of the dress. She thinks Meghan needed one more fitting and likes Duchess Kate’s dress more. I’m with Katy, Duchess Meghan’s dress really needed a built-in bra that shot out whipped cream from the nipples area and then she would’ve definitely been at the top echelon of elegant royal brides – Just Jared

And during that hug (which probably didn’t happen) between Chelsy Davy and Duchess Meghan, I’m sure Chelsy whispered, “Bitch, I mean Duchess Bitch, when he’s fucking you, he’s thinking of this hot ass.” – Lainey Gossip

While Duchess Meghan’s wedding ensembles look like they were bought at Ann Taylor Loft for $189 and the J. Crew Outlet for $89, respectively, they supposedly cost hundreds of thousands of dollars – Celebitchy

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The NYPD Is Investigating Mario Batali For Sexual Assault 

May 21, 2018 / Posted by:

I’ve always said that you can never trust a grown bitch who wears the devil’s hooves known as CROCS out in public. And look at what we have here.

Last year, the slimy brother of Comic Book Guy from The Simpsons stepped away from his show The Chew and his restaurants after several women accused him of not being able to keep his greasy paws to himself. Some of those allegations (and more) found their way to the NYPD and now an investigation has started. Um, Mario Batali should’ve been eating cardboard and toilet sauce pizza on Death Row years ago for murdering retinas with those hideous CROCS, but better late than never I guess…

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