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Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Jonathan, the world’s oldest living tortoise who may also be the world’s oldest living gay!

Whenever I stroll into a gay bar that’s filled with 20-somethings shooting a Snapchat of them dancing to a Dua Lipa remix (or who the fuck ever) after doing molly, I feel like the world’s oldest living gay and can feel the liver spots growing on my b-hole. But I ain’t got shit on Jonathan! Jonathan has possibly been hungry for man tortoise ass for almost two centuries.

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Birthday Sluts

October 20, 2017 / Posted by:

Wanda Jackson (80)
Snoop Dogg (46)
Jess Glynne (28)
ASAP Ferg (29)
Candice Swanepoel (29)
Jennifer Freeman (32)
Alona Tal (34)
Katie Featherston (35)
John Krasinski (38)
Rob Cesternino (39)
Samuel Witwer (40)
Dan Fogler (41)
Dannii Minogue (46)
William Zabka (52)
Viggo Mortensen (59)
Danny Boyle (61)
Melanie Mayron (65)
William Russ (67)
Tom Petty (1950-2017)
Jerry Orbach (1935-2004)
Mickey Mantle (1931-1995)
Bela Lugosi (1882-1956)

Pic: Getty

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Night Crumbs

October 19, 2017 / Posted by:

Somewhere, a woman is freaking out and hyperventilating into a paper bag while looking at Nicole Kidman’s pink velvet diarrhea of a dress and thinking about the traumatic time she wore a bridesmaids dress like that in a friend’s Barbie-themed wedding in 1989 – Lainey Gossip

You know how you scream, “RUUUUN, EVAN, RUNNN”, every time you read a story about Evan Peters and Emma Roberts? He still hasn’t listened to you – Celebitchy

I see that Ex-Countess LuAnn is already working on her next Real Housewives of New York City storyline – Reality Tea

Today’s shameless crash grab fail is brought to you by Frank Ocean’s dad – Towleroad

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THE QUEEN Had Meghan Markle And Prince Hot Ginge Over For Tea

October 19, 2017 / Posted by:

Any British royal can’t announce their engagement until THE QUEEN has had their fiancee over and judged their outfit, shoes, hair, face and mannerisms while gracefully sipping straight gin from a teacup. So, Richard Kay of The Daily Mail says that Prince Hot Ginge asked his gramama to have a little kiki with his girlfriend (who is probably his secret fiancee by now) Meghan Markle. They sipped tea and ate tiny sandwiches and cake in THE QUEEN’s private sitting room at Buckingham Palace. Then Meghan politely excused herself and went to the ladies room where she farted out God Save The Queen from the Britishness of it all.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Teaser Trailer For “I, Tonya”

October 19, 2017 / Posted by:

Because the voting fingers of Oscar voters get a hard-on for gorgeous actresses who homely themselves up for a role, Margot Robbie has been getting Best Actress buzz (yes, I too hate myself for typing “Best Actress buzz”) for playing Oregon rose Tonya Harding in I, Tonya. And the first teaser trailer was released today. On a scale of YES!!!! to WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY??!, the trailer is a little closer to the former for me.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 19, 2017 / Posted by:

Manny Abell, the Jeopardy! contestant who flopped during Final Jeopardy, but didn’t flop as hard as his rivals. Sometimes you don’t need to be the smartest, you just need to be the least dumbest. That’s how I got through school without getting held back… more than once… I mean, more than twice. Okay, I’m still a high school sophomore.

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