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Birthday Sluts

July 16, 2018 / Posted by:

Phoebe Cates (55)
Luke Hemmings of 5 Seconds of Summer (22)
Mark Indelicato (24)
Alexandra Shipp (27)
AnnaLynne McCord (31)
Rosa Salazar (33)
Jesse Jane (38)
Jayma Mays (39)
Jenna Lewis (41)
Dorit Kemsley (42)
Chris Pontius (44)
Corey Feldman (47)
Rain Pryor (49)
Barry Sanders (50)
Will Ferrell (51)
Michael Flatley (60)
Tony Kushner (62)
Ruben Blades (70)
Jimmy Johnson (75)
Ginger Rogers (1911-1995)
Orville Redenbacher (1907-1995)
Barbara Stanwyck (1907-1990)

Pic: TV Guide

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Ellie is a big, beautiful mound of love and talent who’s got one working eye and is 13 years old. 13 years is apparently 68-ish in Beagle years. When I’m 68 years old, the only “treat” I’ll do a trick for is a 20-something Grindr hook-up who’s into grey pubes and has a grandpa fetish. But Ellie was gracious enough to flawlessly perform a new trick for a little food in the name of her human getting some YouTube views.

Ellie’s human Wes Hess doesn’t only have a hot rhyming name, but he’s also got an extremely talented pooch who learned a new trick for him. Wes put a treat in Ellie’s bowl, and taught her to  sit up on her hind legs when he says, “ready, set,” and to run for that treat when he spits out “go.” But Wes decided it’d be real funny to mess with an elder pooch who doesn’t have much goddamn time left for his trickery, and said “row” and “low” instead of “go.”  The look that Ellie throws at Wes when he says “row” and “low” is the same “don’t fuck with my emotions now” look I throw at a Popeye’s employee when they tell me they’re out of warmed up biscuits and it’s going to take 10 minutes. Being the very good and patient dog she is, Ellie waited until she heard “go” and went for it. Fuck World Cup, this is the only sport I care about!

And I’m sure that as a “thank you” for messing with her old ass and joints like that, Ellie gave her human a treat in the form of a dog caca in his shoe.

Pic: YouTube

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Birthday Sluts

July 15, 2018 / Posted by:

Brigitte Nielsen (55)
Olly Alexander (28)
Tristan Wilds (29)
Taylor Kinney (37)
Laura Benanti (39)
Travis Fimmel (39)
Lana Parrilla (41)
Ray Toro (41)
Gabriel Iglesias (42)
Diane Kruger (42)
Jim Jones (42)
Evan Marriott aka Joe Millionaire (44)
Brian Austin Green (45)
Scott Foley (46)
Beth Ostrosky Stern (46)
Eddie Griffin (50)
Adam Savage (51)
Shari Headley (54)
Lolita Davidovich (57)
Forest Whitaker (57)
Kim Alexis (58)
Willie Aames (58)
Alicia Bridges (65)
Terry O’Quinn (66)
Arianna Huffington (68)
Linda Ronstadt (72)
Millie Jackson (74)
Jan-Michael Vincent (74)

Pic: Wenn.com

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

July 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Fredy Alanis, the 19-year-old who ended up in the hospital after literally choking on a dick.

Young Fredy here lived his own episode of Sex Sent Me To The ER back in January when a Hidenburg-sized dick busted up his airways and put him in the hospital. Now, if an extra long watermelon dick caused me to have to pull out my insurance card at the hospital, I wouldn’t tell anyone what had happened. I’d pull some “Oh, doctor, I accidentally sat on that Carlo Rossi jug of wine after moisturizing my asshole with Crisco” shit by telling the doctors that I got a little too excited while drinking a 40. Because my reputation as an old used-up slut would be ruined if people knew I couldn’t take a colossal cock to the froat, but Fredy broadcast it to the world when he tweeted about it on July 5. That tweet led to Fredy telling the site them about how his airway was done in by a big dick.

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Birthday Sluts

July 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Tameka “Tiny” Harris (43)
Conor McGregor (30)
Dan Reynolds (31)
Ryan Sweeting (31)
Peta Murgatroyd (32)
SpongeBob SquarePants (33)
Phoebe Waller-Bridge (33)
Dmitry Chaplin (36)
Taboo (43)
Laurieann Gibson (50)
Tanya Donelly (52)
Matthew Fox (52)
Jackie Earle Haley (57)
Kyle Gass (58)
Jane Lynch (58)
Scott Rudin (60)
Marky Ramone (62)
Joel Silver (66)
Tommy Mottola (69)
Vincent Pastore (72)
Nancy Olson (90)
Harry Dean Stanton (1926-2017)
Ingmar Bergman (1918-2007)
Arthur Laurents (1917-2011)

Pic: Wenn.com

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Night Crumbs

July 13, 2018 / Posted by:

Can somebody please ask Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande what kind of shit they were on when they decided to put screeching gophers in the middle of the video for her new song God Is A Woman? Yes, I want some, but I have to be careful, because that potent shit obviously messed with the part of her brain that operates logic since she never realized that those screaming gophers would easily take the spotlight away from her – Towleroad

Michael B. Jordan definitely has a type and that type is Instagram models that look like a Kim Kardashian/Karreuche Tran hybrid- Lainey Gossip

Barely legal Miami THOTs, get ready, because a newly single David Beckham may be on the loose in your city soon – Celebitchy

When the health department sees this, that ice cream place is going to get an A++++++ for being touched by the ginger sparkliness of Phoebe PriceDrunken Stepfather

The tip of Jessica Biel’s booties looks like a dickhead, and no, she doesn’t have a pic of her husband on the tip of her booties – Popoholic

Kenya Moore’s baby growing area isn’t going to make an appearance on the next season of Real Housewives of Atlanta, but it did make an appearance on Instagram – Reality Tea 

Prepare to hear more of, “Cried my retinas off while watching Queer Eye,” from your co-workers after asking what they did last night, because Queer Eye is coming back for a third season – Just Jared

Pic: YouTube

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