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The Time Donald Trump Asked Emma Thompson Out

March 24, 2017 / Posted by:

Pictured: Emma Thompson laughing while trying to control the wet heaves as she thinks about going on a date with Trump.

During an interview on the Scandinavian TV show Skavlan (via UsWeekly) yesterday, Emma Thompson said that like Salma Hayek and Princess Diana, she once found herself being the object of Donald Trump’s affections. One day after her divorce from Kenneth Branagh became final, Emma was in her trailer on the L.A. set of 1998’s Primary Colors when she got a call and heard the words that probably made her cooze close up and dry up. The voice on the other end said, “Hi, it’s Donald Trump here.

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LeAnn Rimes Is Accused Of Paying A Professional Online Bully To Mess With Brandi Glanville

March 24, 2017 / Posted by:

Any day now, trillions of locusts will swarm the land, Satan will crawl out of Hell to high-five his homeboy Trump and nukes will fly above our heads. And as the world crashes down around us and we all run for our lives, you can count on one thing: Amidst the chaos of it all, LeAnn Rimes and Brandi Glanville will be looking at each other like, “Ewww, your implants are jank, your weave is trash, you totally have cankles and Eddie said my pussy tastes sweeter, bitch!

LeAnn v. Brandi is the roach of feuds, and like roaches, it apparently can be found amongst the trash and scum. The Dirty recently noticed that Brandi unfollowed her forever arch rival LeAnn on both Twitter and Instagram. James McGibney, the owner of the site BullyVille, tells The Dirty that Brandi broke up with LeAnn on social media after finding out that the diabolical luck dragon allegedly hired a professional troll (and yes, that’s what I write under “occupation” on my tax returns) to stalk and harass her. LeAnn Rimes is 34 years old. I’m pointing that out, because I’m around her age and I thought I acted like a bitchy immature tween (see: Everything I write on this blog and the fact that I asked my friend if my ex’s current boyfriend is hotter than me. The answer was yes.) But this two Dollar Tree clearance bin Regina George has me beat.

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 24, 2017 / Posted by:

Jell-O Spoon Candy!

Spoon Candy sounds like a cutesy name for coke or cooked heroin, but for a brief minute in the 1970s it was a decadent dessert from Jell-O. In the late-1960s, Jell-O gifted mouths with the magical desert that was like a cloud sitting on top of two layers of unicorn barf. They gave us Jell-O 1-2-3, which I always thought came out in the 1980s, because to me, it was the flavor of the 1980s. Jell-O 1-2-3 lasted long enough to turn some of us into complete 1-2-3 addicts (yes, you can sometimes find me asking the stock people at any grocery store if they got any old 1-2-3 in the back), but it didn’t last as long as it should have (read: FOREVER!).

Spoon Candy was kind of like another Jell-O 1-2-3, only it didn’t last nearly as long. J-O -1-2-3 was around for almost 30 years, while Spoon Candy was apparently only around from 1972 to 1974ish. It was basically pudding with a hard candy topping, and it was supposed to be a candy bar in a bowl. You’d just add milk, blend a little and BOOM: instance dessert decadence.

Spoon Candy was before my time, so sadly for me, I never got to have it. But I guess I sort of get the experience every night when I shovel pudding into my mouth while squirting Magic Shell in there.

And well, if you’re going to Heaven, at least you have something to look forward to, because I’m sure the Jell-O Cafe up there has endless supplies of Spoon Candy and 1-2-3. And if you’re going to Hell, prepare for an eternity of heaving, because I’m sure the Jell-O Cafe down there serves nothing but celery-flavored Jell-O.

PicPinterest (For Joan)

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Birthday Sluts

March 24, 2017 / Posted by:

Jim Parsons (44)
Keisha Castle-Hughes (27)
Finn Jones (29)
Valentin Chmerkovskiy (31)
Chris Bosh (33)
Nivea (35)
Jack Swagger (35)
Lake Bell (38)
Jessica Chastain (40)
Peyton Manning (41)
Alyson Hannigan (43)
Tig Notaro (46)
Lara Flynn Boyle (47)
Sharon Corr (47)
Jeff Lewis (47)
The Undertaker (52)
Star Jones (55)
Nena (57)
Annabella Sciorra (57)
Kelly Le Brock (57)
Robert Carradine (63)
Donna Pescow (63)
Louie Anderson (64)
Tommy Hilfiger (66)
Nick Lowe (68)
Bob Mackie (77)
Mary Berry (82)
Steve McQueen (1930-1980)
Harry Houdini (1874-1926)

Pic: Fanpop

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