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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 19, 2019 / Posted by:

The Dragon Queen from Golden Girl and the Guardians of the Gemstone!

Tonight is the final episode of that barely-watched show Game of Thrones after HBO canceled it due to record low ratings, zero social media engagement, and no critical acclaim. You’re probably even HUH-ing in the face over the name “Game of Thrones” and thought it was a Drag Race spin-off game show where the Queens lip-synch while playing a game of musical chairs around thrones.

But seriously, zillions of you nerds will have your eyelids duct taped to your foreheads tonight so you won’t miss one moment including cameo appearances by rogue coffee cups and extra hands. And while all of you watch to see if that dragon chick with the unlocked Matrix Twins wig wins the Showcase Showdown in Game of Thrones (thus winning a prize package including an all-expenses paid trip to Bermuda, a Ford Focus, and the throne), I’ll be thinking of the true DRAGON QUEEN!

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Birthday Sluts

May 19, 2019 / Posted by:
Grace Jones (71)
Marshmello (27)
Sam Smith (27)
Eleanor Tomlinson (27)
Eric Lloyd (33)
Jon Kortajarena (34)
Yo Gotti (38)
Drew Fuller (39)
Shooter Jennings (40)
Kim Zolciak (41)
Gail Simmons (43)
Dario Franchitti (46)
Amanda De Cadenet (47)
Jenny Berggren (47)

Pic: Wenn.com

Alison Elliott (49)
Jason Gray-Stanford (49)
Geraldine Somerville (52)
Polly Walker (53)
Maile Flanagan (54)
Sean Whalen (55)
Dusty Hill (70)
Pete Townshend (74)
Nancy Kwan (80)
Joey Ramone (1951-2001)
Andre the Giant (1946-1993)
Nora Ephron (1941-2012)
Peter Mayhew (1944-2019)
Malcolm X (1925-1965)
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Hot Slut Of The Day!

May 18, 2019 / Posted by:

Ayla Kirstine, the horse woman of Norway!

Six years ago, the eyes of the internet were dusted with shards of glitter when we all watched the Prancercise unicorn, Joanna Rohrback, prance like an uppity gay stallion prancing past their haters. And today, we get knocked over by another equine wonder, but this one is all athletic and shit.

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Birthday Sluts

May 18, 2019 / Posted by:
Martika (50)
Spencer Breslin (27)
Ryan Cooley (31)
Alan Leech (38)
Matt Long (39)
Stephen Belafonte (44)
Jack Johnson (45)
Chantal Kreviazuk (45)
Teresa Giudice (47)
Tina Fey (49)

Pic: Columbia Records

Gina Liano (52)
Sandra (58)
Chow Yun-Fat (64)
George Strait (67)
Terry Zwigoff (70)
Reggie Jackson (73)
Alana Stewart (74)
Miriam Margolyes (78)
Robert Morse (88)
Perry Como (1912-2001)
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I Bet Kimye’s Fourth Kid Wish That They Really Did Name Him “Bear West”

May 17, 2019 / Posted by:

There was a rumor that Kim Kardashian and Kanye West named their fourth child/Instagram accessory Bear West, which isn’t a terrible name since it sounds like the second largest bear party held in Palm Springs. But because “Bear West” isn’t pretentiously dumb enough to make everyone roll their eyes out of their sockets, and because Kanye West wants to continue his transformation into psycho religious cult leader, they have gone with: Psalm West. “That’s psalm psad and pstupid pshit!” is probably what God shouted in heaven.

And you may not have read what their newest baby’s name is since your soul got sucked into Kim’s red latex kamel toe of destruction. Consider yourself lucky.

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Afternoon Crumbs

May 17, 2019 / Posted by:

Keanu Reeves is a proud person of color, but isn’t a spokesperson for the Asian community in Hollywood. Of course Keanu isn’t the spokesperson for the Asian community in Hollywood. That job has always belonged to Margaret Cho, who is not only the spokesperson for the Asian community in Hollywood, but is the spokesperson for ALL Asians. Right, Tilda? – Celebitchy

Wait, so you’re telling me that I didn’t match with the real “Alexander Skarsgard” on Tinder and I got scammed when I sent him $2,000 for his ailing uncle? I refuse to believe! – Pajiba

Jhené Aiko and Big Sean are back together, maybe – Lainey Gossip

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