The woman from China who went into a security x-ray machine with her beloved pocketbook because she refused to part with it!
THE QUEEN and abuelitas who will chancleta a little bitch in the throat for even thinking of touching her pocketbook have a new Jesus to worship. The BBC says that during the Lunar New Year travel rush at Dongguan Railway Station in southern China last weekend, a woman pretty much sang an ultra emotional cover of Mariah Carey’s Can’t Let Go to her purse when she was told by train station security that she had to put it through the x-ray machine.
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Aaron Paul and his wife Lauren Parsekian have named their first kid, a daughter, Story Annabelle Paul. Aaron and Lauren must be Punky Brewster fans. The name works for me. I mean, Aaron slobbers out pure cheese about his wife “Pretty Bird” so much that it’s fitting that their child have the initials SAP – Celebitchy
I don’t know why Isabelle Huppert is wearing almost the same denim suit I wore as a toddler during an Olan Mills family photoshoot, but I do know that she wore it better – Lainey Gossip
Cynthia Bailey of Real Housewives of Atlanta may have broken up with her sole storyline this season – Reality Tea
Gus Kenworthy broke his thumb, so he can’t shake Mike Pence’s hand, but he’s still got a working middle finger that he can use to tell the VP how he really feels – Towleroad
Forgot to wear pants: Blake Lively did – Drunken Stepfather
I never noticed this before, but Bradley Whitford with sunglasses on sort of gives me mini Warren Beatty vibes – Pajiba
Natalie Portman showed up to an event dressed like a spoiled rich toddler going to a fancy funeral – Popoholic
Professional house hunters (it feels like they’re always house hunting) Ben Affleck and Lindsay Shookus hit up the pap stroll today – Just Jared
Just last year, Jocelyn Wildenstein, the most gorgeous Thundercat that ever was, told The Mirror that she’s spent over $7 million dollars on hundreds of plastic surgery procedures throughout the decades, and that she’d keep getting her face tweaked into her 80s. (She’s 77 now). There’s also that legendary Vanity Fair piece from 1998 where her late billionaire ex-husband Alec Wildenstein said that after she got her eyes done for the first time and they got his-and-hers facelifts, she went wild and was always getting her mug touched by a plastic surgeon’s scalpel. A friend told Vanity Fair that they don’t remember a time when Jocelyn wasn’t healing from surgery, and that everyone believed she was trying to look like a cat.
Well, either Jocelyn and her fiancé have taken delusions of grandeur to levels we’ve never seen before, or none of us have eyes that really work. Because Jocelyn and her 51-year-old fashion designer fiancé Lloyd Klein (the same fiancé she gets into messy, violent fights with) tell the The Daily Mail that the USDA can practically certify her face as organic, because she’s barely done anything to it.
If Jennifer Aniston’s team ever sees this picture, they’re going to make the same face she’s making. Because how could they allow her to be in the same picture as a bottle of water that isn’t SmartWater! She should fire their incompetent asses for that, honestly.
Christmas came 10 months early for tabloid editors yesterday when Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux announced that her second marriage, and his first marriage, is as done as I was about five minutes into Horrible Bosses 2. They said in their statement that they decided to hit the stop button their marriage late last year. In December, they were papped in Cabo San Lucas while vacationing with Jason Bateman and his wife Amanda Anka. UsWeekly says that they took that vacation, hoping that the cracks in their marriage would get filled with the fuck juices they’d squirt out while having tequila-fueled Band-Aid sex. But as everyone knows, that didn’t happen.
The member of Istanbul’s Don’t Give A Fuck Brigade: Pussy Chapter!
The Facebook group Aww Station (via Sputnik International) has turned a cat in Istanbul into a lazy hero by posting a video of the DGAF pussy calmly taking a little rest right in front of an escalator outside of a busy subway station in Taksim Square. This educational clip will be used in the future when catmanity finally takes over the world (those pussies really need to hurry up before humanity messes up this planet even more, and yes, it’s possible). This video shows that it’s a pussy’s world and humans are just living in it.
The Turkish don’t-give-a-fuck cousin of yesterday’s OP had a leisurely rest in front of a busy escalator and didn’t care that it was in the way of a bunch of worthless human peons, and lounged like it had no care in the world. And the humans knew better than to step to that pussy. The soundtrack for this clip is totally Brooke Candy’s Pussy Make The Rules. “Pussy make the rules, pussy, pussy make the rules” – this pussy.
And although those humans were smart enough not to disturb the overlord of that subway escalator, they’re still on that cat’s shit list. Because they failed to get on their knees and bow at the paws of their future ruler. Big mistake. Huge.