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Birthday Sluts

November 21, 2018 / Posted by:
Nicollette Sheridan (55)
Sam Palladio (33)
Carly Rae Jepsen (33)
Guy Wilson (33)
Jena Malone (34)
Brie Bella (35)
Nikki Bella (35)
Ryan Carnes (36)
Cherie Johnson (43)
Brook Kerr (45)
Rain Phoenix (46)
Michael Strahan (47)
Ken Griffey Jr. (49)

Pic: Getty

Troy Aikman (52)
Björk (53)
Cherry Jones (62)
Tina Brown (65)
Lorna Luft (66)
Goldie Hawn (73)
Marcy Carsey (74)
Juliet Mills (77)
Marlo Thomas (81)
Harold Ramis (1944-2015)
Vivian Blaine (1921-1995)
René Magritte (1898-1967)
Voltaire (1694-1778)
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Night Crumbs

November 20, 2018 / Posted by:

The random couple that The Voice burped up, Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani, are still a thing and they declared the real war on Christmas by releasing the video for the Christmas song she put out a year ago. If that unholy song ever plays when you’re in a store and it causes you to snap, breaking all sorts of shit, and you’re arrested for vandalism, just tell the judge, “Your honor, that Blake and Gwen Christmas song was playing.” The judge should dismiss all charges against you and instead charge the store for ear assault – Lainey Gossip 

In case you need a palate cleanser from the ChristMESS song in the link above – Towleroad

A PUPPEH!!!!!!!! (Oh yeah and Olivia Munn too)Popoholic

If you squint you can almost see the Fix-A-Flat logo on Farrah Abraham’s ass – Drunken Stepfather

Another royal wedding might be upon us thanks to Princess Beatrice possibly being royally dickmatized – Celebitchy

There’s a lot of pillows in this picture and that doesn’t include Elizabeth Hurley’s chest pillows. And I’m sorry for writing “chest pillows”Hollywood Tuna

Piers Morgan is acting like an overused butt plug for attention again. Groundbreaking. – Pajiba

Brandi Glanville screamed at a dude trying to break into her Range Rover, and surprisingly she didn’t slap the thief down like he was Lisa VanderpumpReality Tea

Today in “Everybody is in the Cats movie” – Just Jared 

Pic: YouTube

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Mel B Claims That There’s A Secret Shangri-La Of Celebrity Peen On The Internet

November 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Mel B’s book Brutally Honest is coming out soon, and she and the publishers are selling it like a Mary Kay saleswoman circa 1987 who is just 50 Magic Masques away from getting that pink Cadillac. They’re releasing excerpts from her book that are a mixture of disturbing and ESCANDALOSO like how she snorted six lines of coke a day during The X Factor and was left traumatized after having to watch the dozens of illegal sex tapes her smegma bubble of an ex-husband made without her consent. But the story that made me stop, drop, and roll was the one about how Mel B supposedly met up with two famous dudes after meeting them on a secret hookup website where single famous men allegedly post dick pics.

So Scary Spice is telling me that somewhere on the internet exists a place where there’s picture after picture of a hard dick of a celebrity and the celebrity posts it himself? Does the site’s intro page look like this?

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 20, 2018 / Posted by:

The Guard Pussy of the Pacific Northwest!

We’ve seen the proof and have known for a long time that raccoons are slowly taking over the world, and have already turned alligators, bird feeders, buildings, Canadians, and the police into their slaves. Those dumpsters and trash cans they’re constantly going through? Silly, human, they’re not looking for half-eaten pizza crusts and Hot Pocket innards. They’re looking for personal information to use against you and blackmail you into joining their army that will control this planet one day. Yes, they’re the original Scientologists. But there’s one species getting in their way:

PUSSYKIND!

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Birthday Sluts

November 20, 2018 / Posted by:
Joel McHale (47)
Michael Clifford of 5 Seconds of Summer (23)
Cody Linley (29)
Ashley Fink (32)
Jared Followill (32)
Dan Byrd (33)
Jeremy Jordan (33)
Future (35)
Andrea Riseborough (37)
Kimberley Walsh (37)
Nadine Velazquez (40)
Josh Turner (41)
Dominique Dawes (42)
Dierks Bentley (43)
Davey Havok of AFI (43)

Pic: Universal

Callie Thorne (49)
Ming-Na (50)
Mike D (53)
Sean Young (59)
Bo Derek (62)
Mark Gastineau (62)
Joe Walsh (71)
Joe Biden (76)
Norman Greenbaum (76)
Dick Smothers (79)
Estelle Parsons (91)
Kaye Ballard (93)
Richard Dawson (1932-2012)
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Dlisted: The Podcast, Episode 27 – Death By Pre-Stuffed Turkey

November 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Allison declared her undying love for Butterball’s pre-stuffed turkey on our last episode, and that made some people cry, “SALMONELLA!” So we talk about the dos and don’ts of pre-stuffed turkey cooking (because we’re gourmet like that), and millennials supposedly pranking their parents with questions about nuking a turkey. But before we get into turkey crap, Allison and I dip our brains in a boiling vat of smug by covering Bill Maher shitting on adults liking comic books, and then we talk about Jessie J telling everyone to stop comparing her to Jenna Dewan. We also say words about Dolly Parton’s husband taking her to the romance epicenter known as McDonald’s, Mandy Moore’s 12 wedding cakes, and Priyanka Chopra making Star Jones proud.

If you haven’t already, subscribe and rate our asses on iTunes. You can also e-mail us at dtp@dlisted.com if you want to drop us a note!

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