Justin Timberlake can say “bye, bye, bye” to being on the list of people that have not worked with a lil’ ol’ creeper. Joining the ranks of true thespians like Blake Lively and Kristen Stewart, JT has signed on for Woody Allen’s latest movie.
There’s no word on the title or plot of Woody’s newest feature. Casting is underway, and The Hollywood Reporter has a short list of the people just dying to spend intimate months with him. Kate Winslet signed on earlier in the summer, as well as Jim Belushi. Yes, According to Jim Jim Belushi. Justin has been cast in a supporting role. Joining him for second-tier billing is Juno Temple, the chick from Vinyl. Amazon, who is distributing Cafe Society and producing the TV show he’s doing with Miley Cyrus, is back on board and committed.
Even though I’m assuming that Kate will get the brunt of the questions ranging from “How can you work with Woody Allen?” to “What do you think about Woody Allen rape jokes?“, it’ll be fun to see how Justin responds to a similar line of questioning. That is, if he’s even allowed to answer. You know, since the last time he tried to put his two-cents in went so well.
This is the same movie that Woody claimed earlier this year that he wants to set in an amusement park. And since it’s a Woody Allen film, it’s most likely going to be more early 20th century costumes, some zippy lines, and a guy mumbling. I assume that means Justin has been hired to do a mix of his SNL “classics“, like singing costume mascot and Dick In A Box. What else could it be? Other than his extraordinary and not-creepy work in The Love Guru. Justin also has his natural hair working in his favor, which we know Woody likes; see Jesse Eisenberg, star of Cafe Society. Mark my words, this is gonna be about a down-on-his-luck singing mascot for a salon that specializes in perms. Yeah, that’s it.
May 15. Mark it. Take note. That’s the day I told you all that the warm months mean nothing but babies. Babies! There are so many people in the world already, but that doesn’t stop people from humping on each other when it’s cold out and unleashing masses of wee ones unto the rest of us once it’s warm out. Yesterday brought news of a witch baby. If Starbucks still sold CDs (why is life so cruel?!), today we’d probably get a Norah Jones mini disc with our Best of Norah Jones CD, because she’s given birth to her second child.
Norah’s reps have confirmed to UsWeekly that she welcomed baby No. 2. Norah is famously discreet about her personal life, so there’s no word on what this baby’s sex or name is. Norah has also never publicly disclosed the identity of her musician partner or their first son’s name. I’m going to assume that they’re named Grande, Tall, and Short for the new one, for the sake of speculation.
Norah has on occasion Instagrammed photos of her first son, but never anything where his face is visible. The closest we got to that was this Christmas shot. But who’s to say that’s even her baby? However, if it is, we can safely assume that he has two eyes, a nose and a mouth. Ha! We got something on him, Norah! But let’s not shade where shade is not due. Good for her keeping shit on the DL if that’s what she wants to do. People like Backdoor Farrah might want to take a page out of Norah’s parenting book.
Congrats, Norah! May little No Name 1 and 2 stay out of the spotlight and prosper.
Another day, another story about the perfectly organic and natural love between Taylor Swift and Tom Hiddleston. These two are touring harder than an aging rock band who’ve have realized they still have mortgages to pay. The latest stop on their world tour is LA. And of course they showed up in matching outfits.
Hot off the heels of their super-cool heavily-staged 4th of July party, UsWeekly tells us that Tay and Tom touched down at LAX yesterday in really subtle, non-couple looks. Wait, no. The opposite. Tom was in his trademark blue jacket and Tay was in a perfectly matching navy sweater and navy check skirt. Looks like girl is pushing him hard to work that Americana look. Tay, seeing as you went to England to meet his mom, I’m pretty sure you’re aware he isn’t American. You had your chance with a Kennedy and ya blew it. Tom is never gonna be JFK Jr, ok?
Adding more fuel to the TayTom fire is that Calvin Harris is back. And he’s maybe calling out Tay for being a ho through song. How very Taylor Swift of you, Calvin Harris.
When reality hits you smack on the head, it ain’t pretty. You know those moments when you’re like “Is this really happening to me?“. I had one of the those moments last night while watching The Neon Demon. But, that’s not anywhere in the ballpark of how harrowing a week Sarah Silverman had. One of my favorite funny ladies, and ladies in general, nearly died last week. Thankfully, she’s ok now.
Sarah took to her Facebook to give an update on why she’d been radio silent for a little bit. Sarah had a sore throat, but didn’t think much of it. Eventually she decided to go to hospital. Lucky for her she didn’t just try and ride it out; turns out she had epiglottitis. The Wrap, in reporting the news, informs me, and now you, that epiglottitis is a potentially life-threatening condition wherein the base of the tongue swells up, thereby not allowing for air to pass to the lungs. Scary. Fucking. Stuff.
Sarah’s message to friends, fans and the hospital that saved her life is after the cut.
I love the late summer/early fall push magazines make because it means more ads. And more ads means more of those fold-out perfume things, which is always the icing on the cake for a night out. It also means they get big celebs pushing whatever it is they want to hawk. Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you know that Gwen Stefani has mostly been selling us her and Blake Shelton‘s romance, and by proxy, her latest album. Well, she’s at it again!
The latest issue of Glamour features Mila Kunis saying “bye, bitch” to, as the English call it, slap. For us Americans, that’s makeup. I personally don’t wear makeup, but it’s six billion degrees with 500% humidity today in New York, so I’m going to point every woman I see wearing makeup to the newsstand because there’s no reason to suffer through this heat with a full face.
The sans fards selling point is a bit of a wash in the issue itself. Mila is done up for the cover and inside spread, but she’s working an Alicia Keys-approved #nomakeup look on the back cover. There’s also an “undone-beauty guide” in the magazine. Which is kind of like your parents promising you Six Flags and then taking you to Rye Playland, aka LIES. But they do let Mila push her “I’m normal and chill” schtick.