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Piers Morgan Has Been Accused Of Faking His Recent Hospital Stay

January 13, 2019 / Posted by:

Piers Morgan recently posted a selfie in the hospital, leading to premature cheers from his detractors celebrating his impending demise. However, Piers is not deathly ill and claims he just has a little upset tummy wummy after eating a vegan sausage roll live on tellie. Since this is Piers we’re talking about, people are calling BS on his reasons for skipping class and going to the nurse’s office, as he’s been on an anti-vegan kick this month in protest of “Veganuary.” Strange issue for Piers to  choose as his latest soap box stance, but hey, stunt queens gotta stunt. Continue reading

Tom Hardy Has Reportedly Named His New Kid After Forrest Gump

January 12, 2019 / Posted by:

Seen above laughing at their own baby naming joke are Myspace underwear model Tom Hardy and his wife Charlotte Riley, who have rolled out the red carpet spit-up rags in welcoming their newborn son, whom they have reportedly named after a character in Forrest Gump. I wish like hell that I could report that they named their son Bubba Gump Shrimp Company Hardy, but “sources” say that Tom and Charlotte went boring on us and have instead named their child Forrest Hardy after Forrest Gump himself.

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Billy Bush Will Probably Soon Return To TV On The One Network That Still Likes Him

January 12, 2019 / Posted by:

It’s been over two years since Billy Bush was fired from Today for his smarmy role in Pussygate AKA the scandal that launched a million pink pussy knit hats. Since then the fallen apple of the Bush Dynasty (which is sadly not a delicious Chinese Restaurant) has gotten divorced, helped his daughter through sobriety, and been on a voyage of self-discovery with Tony Robbins. Now he’s ready to end his exile and find a way to weasel his way back onto the small screen. Lucky for Billy, Extra has announced that they are moving from NBC to Fox this autumn, and they are looking for a pro-pussy grabbing host to join the team.

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Melissa Joan Hart Told Her Kids That She Doesn’t Know If Non-Jesus Believers Are Good People

January 6, 2019 / Posted by:

Melissa Joan Hart has gone public with her amazing transformation from Sabrina The Teenage Witch to Ice Cold Middle-Aged Holy Judgmental Bitch. You can go ahead and add Melissa to the list of former pre-teen idols that has fallen on hard times. Melissa has gone public with her innermost beliefs, which are that if you don’t believe in Sweet Baby Jesus, you are basically a terrible person who should stay away from her kids. This has many people calling her a lo-fi anti-Semetic.

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Pottermore Says That Wizards Used To Just Shit On The Floor At Hogwarts

January 5, 2019 / Posted by:

Harry Potter fans just can’t let the series rest, and as long as author J.K. Rowling is alive, they will harass her for any scrap of wizarding info she can throw down their thirsty muggle throats. On the Harry Potter fan site Pottermore, fans got a bit more than they bargained yesterday, on National Trivia Day, when it was revealed that before Hogwarts had plumbing, wizards used to shit and pee wherever they were standing and then vanish the evidence with magic. 99% of Harry Potter fans are disgusted by this news. The other 1% just started their own special Harry Potter fan site for wannabe wizard nerds that are also into anachronistic poop play.  Continue reading

Demi Lovato And Her New Man Are Instagram Official

December 30, 2018 / Posted by:

Despite Demi Lovato‘s recent plea to everyone to leave her the eff alone about her near death OD, there is one piece of personal info that she is happily serving up today. Demi has gone Instagram official with the news that she has upgraded her “sober companion” to her “slobber companion”, as she posted a video of her kissing her current purse holder, oh-so-edgy clothing designer Henri Levy.

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