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Tan Mom Is Back!!!

December 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Raise your hand if you agree with the looks on the faces of the dude and his drag queen friend behind her. Infamous early aughts scorched jerky mess Tan Mom (aka Patricia Krentcil) has returned from whatever dangerously overpowered tanning bed in which she had secreted herself. She’s here to wow us with her signature style once more! She’s got a new persona (“Patricia Marie”), a new wig, and a new autotune confection (“Free 2 Be Me”). Unfortunately for Patricia, she’s retained the same unsteadiness about her which can only be permanent sunstroke, and the same horrible enabler, “producer” Adam Barta. Let’s get into “Patricia Marie” and her new anthem for the overly pan-fried in the face and body.

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Tara Reid Is Suing The “Sharknado” Producers For $100 Million Over Slot Machines

December 8, 2018 / Posted by:

Picture it. Las Vegas, 2018. Tara Reid, halter top askew and her little dog peeking mournfully out of her shoulder bag, is sort of leaning to one side at the craps table. And over yonder in the distance, she spots something. It’s HER. “Ishat me?” she angrily scream. It is her. She’s emblazoned on the side of a giant Sharknado slot machine! And looking fresher than she’s looked in, well, since walking into the audition for The Big Lebowski in 1997? “I dint ok that! I’ll shue those bassards!” Tara screams. And promptly falls under the craps table. (Don’t worry, the little dog managed to leap to safety.)

It’s true. Tara’s suing the Sharknado franchise producers (Asylum Entertainment and SYFY Media Productions) for unlawfully using her image. And she’s suing for $100 million.

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Open Post: Hosted By Two Foxes Playing In The Snow

December 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Living in New England, snow gets tiresome after awhile. It can look lovely, softly falling in big, pretty flakes. But then it tends to stick around and occasionally you still have snowbanks in the mall parking lot in May. Sometimes, though, you get reminded how magical snow can be to some creatures – mostly small children and animals. Like these two foxes in Wolverhampton, England.

Laughing Squid featured this YouTube clip from last year that is making the rounds now of these little guys having a grand old time playing in the snow in this homeowner’s back yard.

I have had foxes living in my garden for years and they come back each year to have cubs. These two were chilling out in the snow on a Sunday.

Fox 1 and Fox 2 wrestle around, and enjoy the winter weather while weaving in and out of a chainlink fence. It kind of reminds you of when snow was a magical occurrence that sometimes got you out of school as a kid. As an adult, that magical feeling has changed into a general feeling of resentment. Shoveling snow is the worst. I’d rather help someone move or have a catheter. Especially when the plow buries your car BACK IN THE SNOW as it’s clearing the streets. Your car being what you just shoveled OUT of the snow. If these foxes had to deal with that, there’d be less frolicking in the snow and way more resentment of it.

Pic: YouTube

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YouPorn Responded To Starbucks Banning Porn By Banning Starbucks

December 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Starbucks recently announced that they’re going to be installing a blocker on their WiFi in all of their U.S. locations that will prevent you creepy types from jerking off near the clearance tea mugs, because their blocker will ban porn! Well, you always knew they were mind-controlling overpriced fascists, but now there’s proof. Forbes reports that, in response, the management over at porno tube tug site YouPorn has banned all Starbucks products from their offices. That’ll teach em’!

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Neil deGrasse Tyson Responded To Those Sexual Misconduct Accusations

December 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Round-earther and television astrophysicist Neil deGrasse Tyson has been accused by both a colleague and a former assistant of sexual harassment. Those allegations follow a 2014 rape accusation made against him by musician Tchiya Amet who claims that Neil drugged and raped her when they were fellow graduate students in 1984. Suffice to say, his lovable TV science nerd persona has been called into question. Neil responded to the allegations in a long post on Facebook (the whole thing is after the cut). He admits to some questionable behavior but denies that he was consciously sexually harassing anyone and says that he was intimate with Ms. Amet on more than one occasion but that it was consensual. No one’s responded to my request from yesterday for someone to assure me that Bill Nye is still on the up-and-up. I’m going to need that after writing about this story.

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Channing Tatum Responds To Amanda Bynes Saying She Gave Him His Big Break

December 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Amanda Bynes recently gave a comeback interview to Paper magazine. In the interview, Amanda claimed that she gave celebrity potato Channing Tatum his big break when she got him cast opposite her in She’s The Man. Entertainment Tonight spoke to Channing at the Magic Mike Live premiere in London and asked him about Amanda’s claim. Instead of responding “who?“, Channing made with the graciousness.

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