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Open Post: Hosted By This Poor Dog Trying To Get A Stick Across A Bridge

December 10, 2017 / Posted by:

This poor pooch’s owners are assfaces. This isn’t cute! He wants to bring his big stick with him across the bridge and it won’t fit. And dogs don’t know the concept of sideways! And this witch holding the camera is giggling at him. She could at least walk her ass up and carry it across for him. It’s not like he knows geometry or spatial relations. She’s laughing like it’s a cat on a Roomba. She’s a sadist and so is that dude on the other side of the bridge urging the dog to come to him. Does PETA or the ASPCA know about this? It might not be on the level of staging dog fights but think about a canine’s dignity. Switch his damn stick out for a shorter one! I hope one day she’s trying to get into her prom dress to see if it still fits and she’s having a little difficulty and she hears snickering. And upon turning around, she sees her dog training this camera on her and mocking her with his cruel giggling. Karma’s going to bill you, Cruella DeVille!

Pic: YouTube

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Brendan Dassey From “Making A Murderer” Will Remain In Jail

December 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Brendan Dassey is the young man from Netflix’s controversial Making A Murderer docu-series who would appear to have been convicted of a crime he didn’t commit. The series focused on Brendan and his uncle Steven Avery and whether or not they were unjustly convicted of the 2005 murder of photographer Theresa Halbach. My mental jury is still out on Avery, but to me, the doc clearly showed how police detectives and the Wisconsin Attorney General’s Office railroaded then 16-year-old, intellectually deficient Brendan into confessing. It looked like justice had (for once) actually triumphed and Brendan was getting out. Not so. Buzzfeed reports that Brendan lost his appeal on Friday. Can’t The Miz, Sheamus, and his other WWE heroes band together to break his ass out? Continue reading

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Don’t Hold Your Breath For That “Charmed” Reunion

December 10, 2017 / Posted by:

You remember in the first Scream movie when Rose McGowan’s character tried to escape through the doggie access in the garage door and that asshole Ghostface flipped the switch? And she got smooshed? Well, that’s what Rose has been doing to Hollywood since she became one of the first female celebrities to speak openly about Harvey Weinstein. Showbiz has been trying to escape out the doggie door and Rose is smooshing those fools!

Sometime back, Rose shaved her head, said “EFF IT” to her career, loosened her cannon, and started tweeting. Since the Weinstein situation broke, she’s been calling everyone out in Hollywood whom she feels is either an abuser or complicit in said abuse.Take for example, her former Charmed co-star Alyssa Milano. Despite Alyssa’s now famous tweet urging her followers to use the #MeToo hashtag (that was started by social activist Tarana Burke in 2006), Rose remains unimpressed. Specifically, because Alyssa has also been going to bat for Harvey Weinstein’s now ex-wife, fashion designer Georgina Chapman. Much like you won’t see Rose wearing Marchesa anytime soon, you also won’t see her signing on to a Charmed reunion. Rose went in on Alyssa on Twitter on Friday. Eh, once you fire Shannen Doherty, your show is going to suck anyways. Continue reading

Taylor Swift And Joe Alwyn Held Hands!!! In Public!!!

December 10, 2017 / Posted by:

Sure, this is unimportant and fluffy. But there’s a distinct lack of rape and corruption in this story, so we’ve got that going for us. TMZ reports that queen of the rat catchers Taylor Swift performed at the Z100 iHeartRadio Jingle Ball at Madison Square Garden on Friday night, and she was seen walking in HOLDING HANDS WITH BOYFRIEND JOE ALWYN!!!! Despite her writing ½ an album about him (the other half is made up of cheery songs about how everyone who has wronged will pay in the end), Taylor is almost never seen in public with her actor boyfriend. UNTIL NOW. Continue reading

Open Post: Hosted By The Italian Pole Dancing Christmas Sex Elf

December 9, 2017 / Posted by:

Now THAT’s a gig to bring any resume to the next level. Queerty was kind enough to introduce us to Italy’s Domenico Vaccaro. He’s an acrobat and pole dancer who obviously can’t resist a holiday theme when it comes to his act. He posted vid of himself on Instagram pole dancing to Mimi while dressed as an elf. Domenico really knows how to work those crushed velvet pantaloons.

For those of you who want some fap inspiration for Christmas this year, the rest of Domenico’s Instagram seems to use the “why am I drooling?” filter on most of his pics.

Domenico’s efforts should be applauded except for one aspect of his performance. That damn song. You can’t go anywhere without that damn song playing. You can’t go to the mall. You can’t turn on the TV. You can’t make funeral arrangements for your grandma at the mortuary. You can’t even go to sleep because it plays in your dreams for the entirety of December. It’s like some horrible glitch in the time-space continuum where a tesseract exploded and the fallout was that song enveloping us for a certain 25 days every year. Can Dr. Who or someone knowledgable in this sort of thing save us from this omnipresent aural savagery?

Pic: Instagram

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The Zombie Angelina Jolie Girl Lied About Getting Plastic Surgery To Look Like Her Idol

December 9, 2017 / Posted by:

An Angelina Jolie-centric post seems to always get heated in the comments, but can’t we all agree that it must be disappointing to open your laptop one morning, check your Google Alerts, and find pics of an emaciated nightmare hell creature claiming to have had 50 surgeries to look like you? That’s not Christmas. Sahar Tabar, a 19-year-old from Iran, posted several pictures and videos (most of which have now been deleted) of herself looking like Dead Taylor Swift’s little sis. She claimed she went through dozens of plastic surgeries to look like her lord and savior Angie. Well, she lied, as reported by Sputnik (via The Sun). For those of you who believed those pics, I’m a member of the Royal Family in Nigeria with an urgent, private matter. I want to give you 100 million Euros. I’ll just need your Social Security number, 1000 blessings on your family, thank you. Continue reading

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