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Open Post: Hosted By Stephen Colbert Ripping Clothes Off Of Milo Ventimiglia

June 18, 2017 / Posted by:

Happy Father’s Day, fathers, who are also Dlisted readers! We know you work hard to make sure your children don’t grow up to be assholes all year round, so this day is for you! (And if you’re not doing that, please start. Because if one more person talks in a movie behind me…)

The Late Show’s Stephen Colbert and Milo Ventimiglia got together to film this tribute to hot TV dads like Milo. Stephen did to Milo Ventilator what should always be done to Milo Ventilator – tore his clothes off. Ok, just his sleeves. Perhaps he’s waiting for a future holiday to get at his pants. My mom’s birthday is coming up, will that do?

Watch Stephen bare Milo Ventilator’s guns below.

Pic: YouTube

Rob Schneider Blocked Seth Rogen On Twitter

June 18, 2017 / Posted by:

This is like the time I blocked Rob’s bestie Adam Sandler, but then unblocked him so I could meet Rob’s daughter Elle King.

Vaguely familiar comedian (and Trump supporter) Rob Schneider blocked Seth Rogen on Twitter. What? Why? Oddly enough, an early-rising and/or bored Seth went looking for whether or not Rob followed him on Twitter yesterday morning. Had the script for Green Hornet 2 not arrived yet?

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Michael Phelps Is Going To Race A Shark

June 18, 2017 / Posted by:

The man who scoffs at Aquaman’s tired dog-paddling, Michael Phelps, is so over racing ordinary humans in the pool. For his next trick, the multiple Olympic gold winner is going to RACE A SHARK. And no, it’s not going to require Ryan Lochte taking his dumb ass to Party City to look for a shark costume. We’re talking an actual fins-and-teeth, “GET OUT OF THE WATER!“-type shark. Continue reading

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Beyonce Gave Birth To A Twin Boy And Girl, There’s A “Minor Issue”

June 18, 2017 / Posted by:

I was in my usual place when Beyonce gave birth to a twin boy and girl on Monday in Los Angeles. It’s the place that I’ve been in during this entire pregnancy – on my knees, praying that I might get the chance to touch the hem of their garments at some point in my otherwise empty life.

TMZ is confirming that Bey and husband Jay Z are the parents of twins. Beymajesty and babies are still in the hospital due to a “minor issue” that hasn’t been identified. We can assume it’s because a vintage El Camino wasn’t driven in for her to give birth atop of for art’s sake. She’s not leaving that hospital bed until the situation is rectified. Continue reading

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Open Post: Hosted By Liam Payne Reading Erotic Fantasies About Himself Aloud

June 17, 2017 / Posted by:

One Direction’s Liam Payne is considered sessy to a whole bunch of the group’s fans. Like any pop star, there’s all sorts of filthy fantasies written about him on Tumblr, Twitter, that secret Facebook group you’re in, etc.

Liam was nice enough to sit down for BBC Radio 1’s “Perv Pad” to read aloud what horny people are writing about him online. I was all set for fisting fantasies, but they were remarkably tame. Is there a red-band version of this? Also, that hoodie isn’t really erotic. Can’t he do this topless? This is a big fail, “Perv Pad!” “Only you can dance on me?” Amateurs.

Pic: YouTube

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Director Sam Taylor-Johnson On Her Marriage To A Younger Man

June 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Sam Taylor-Johnson is mostly known as the woman behind the first cinematic adaption of Fifty Shades Of Grey. It made scads of money, but the reviews were execrable. And apparently, E.L. James, the fan-fic authoress who somehow stumbled upon millions with the book, was a giant canker sore with which to deal during production.

But all of this aside, Sam is married to actor Aaron Taylor-Johnson. He looks like this. Do you think she gives a shit about how nobody except sopping-wet matrons liked her movie? She gets on that on the regular. And she’s still looking between the couch cushions for the fucks to give on what anyone thinks of her and her husband’s almost 25 year age difference.

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