Adele is your girl who just wants to spend Saturday night in her sweatpants at home with good takeout, perhaps some wine, and some furious dancing in the den to ominversal majestrix Beyoncé headlining Coachella on the screen vee. Adele WORKED IT OUT! And she posted some of her hottest moves on Instagram.
26-year-old Farrah Abraham is a doting mother who obviously just wants to teach 9-year-old daughter Sophia about important things. Important things like how to turn something that should be private into grist for a social media post. Hence Sophia having to record mommy getting her ass cheeks stuck full of filler. It’s Farrah’s “booty secret for summer!” Um, nothing about Farah’s booty has been secretive for a loooonnnggg time.
Former Disney actor Orlando Brown was arrested in his underwear by a bounty hunter named Lucky. If that isn’t the premise of a sub-standard comedy vehicle comeback starring Martin Lawrence, I don’t know what is.
Stan “The Man” Lee, Marvel Comics’ showman and co-creator of most of the characters you can’t see a movie without nowadays, has been having a very non-Excelsior! time lately. 95-year-old Stan recently turned down an offer from famed comics geek Kevin Smith to come live with him due to a rumor that his daughter J.C. Lee and her associates had been abusing him, which he denied in a video. He’s also claimed to have been the victim of financial misdealings with a former business manager, who he says stole $300,000 from him, bought an $850,000 condo with Stan’s money, and allegedly STOLE HIS BLOOD FOR SOME KIND OF WACKY SOUVENIR PEN SCAM! I’m as big a comic book geek as the next guy, but there’s no need for anyone’s blood as a souvenir unless you really, rally want to commemorate having murdered them. Crazy.
Well, Stan would appear to be rallying himself after these setbacks and a lawsuit was filed against the allegedly vampiric former business manager Jerardo Olivarez in L.A. Superior Court this week.
At last night’s gathering, some friends and I sat around and watched some of the Coachella performances. What I took away from it was:
A) Oh god, I’m at the age where I don’t know anyone anymore and I used to be a music person.
B) You have to have some sort of wolf-related light-up facial gear or press play in just a bra and white denim shorts if you want to make it big out there in the desert. Oh, and…
Anyway, Twitter comedian Eric Turtle somehow got Walmart yodeling wunderkind Mason Ramsey on stage during a DJ named Waltham’s set. Or something, I don’t know. Young social media online celebrity culture can be confusing for us olds. The folks in the audience who were sober enough to still retain pop culture recall loved his lil’ yodeling self! So did least-talented toddler Justin Bieber. Mason proves that you don’t HAVE to sport just a bra to play a good set.
after the yodel kid followed me i dmed him to try and get him to come out as whethans guest at coachella. and it happened. ur welcome everyone. i love u mason and i love the internet pic.twitter.com/VSjLjS9mU4
— eric turtle (@dubstep4dads) April 13, 2018
Halle Berry was a presenter at the GLAAD Media Awards on Thursday and took a moment to mention one of the greatest films of all time – 2004’s Catwoman – and declare that she thought it deserved another “goddamn chance.” YES, IT DOES. The only thing wrong with this emancipation of a bad movie proclamation was Halle not working that Clan of the Cave Bear braid that she was sporting last summer. That braid took us all to Fascination Street. Was it for a movie? Was she exploring the woodlands in a much more barbaric time? Bring that braid back, Ms Berry. And lobby for a release a Criterion Collection cut of Catwoman, already. Sharon Stone (she played the villain) has already got an outfit for the release party to go with her derisive laughter.