TruTV must have looked at that tone-deaf Handmaid’s Tale wine and said to Netflix, “Hold my beer.” There’s no bigger bitch in the world than Sallie Mae, the source of many a drained bank account and who would probably rob a Girl Scout cookie collection box if it meant I’d make my payment on time. For once. Oops. Anyway, because Americans owe upwards of $1.4 million in student loans (and I’m $1.2 trillion of that), someone thought it would be a good idea to come up with a game show where people could pay their loans off. Yeah, because that sounds fun to watch. Continue reading
I guess my copy of Class With The Countess is missing the chapter saying it’s okay to bump uparts with a dude before his divorce is finalized. Ex-Countess LuAnn de Lesseps has bounced from Count Chocula (isn’t that how she got her title?) to a series of fellas, including one she was married to for just enough time to give her a central plotline on this season’s Real Housewives Of New York City. Now she’s rubbing up on a new fella, but – shocking – he isn’t exactly done with his marriage. Continue reading
Much to the relief of Donald Trump, there’s a new pee pee tape floating around; alas, this one is kind of a snooze compared to his own offering of getting piddled on in Moscow to the soundtrack of Fiddler On The Roof. Allegedly. George Lopez, like much of the world-at-large, isn’t a huge fan of Trump, and decided to do something about it on Tuesday night. While he was wandering down the Hollywood Walk of Fame, George posted up by the Donald’s star and pretended to take a leak on it. Naturally, Trump stans across America really took that well. Continue reading
That didn’t take long. It was only yesterday when MGM, the studio behind The Handmaid’s Tale, announced it would start hawking very on-brand merchandise for the show: wine! Y’know, because Gilead is all about the handmaids and barren wives tossing back a few at the country club and having a good ol’ laugh about living in oppression with a bunch of looney tune men with Napoleon complexes. Social media naturally lost its shit over the boozy attempts by a show that leaves us all feeling like shit each week and in need of a cocktail (hey, maybe they weren’t that far off the mark?). MGM has now decided to pull the cork, er, plug on the wine. Dammit, I was looking forward to Aunt Lydia two-buck chuck down at Trader Joe’s. Continue reading
I can’t even do so much as buy a pack of gum at a CVS one neighborhood over without the Visa powers-at-be calling me multiple times to make sure that wasn’t a fraudulent charge on my prepaid Visa Vanilla with a $10 limit. I’m kidding, it’s a $20 limit. Because of that, I’m taking this story with a heavy dose of side-eye, but I guess someone got ahold of Demi Moore’s American Express, and the security team at AmEx took the month off because they managed to rack up over $169,000 in charges over several weeks at places like Saks Fifth Avenue before getting caught. Winona Ryder, what’s your alibi, girl? Continue reading
When you’re a bargain bitch like me, the Holy Grail is the big box behemoth known as Costco. You can usually find me (and Miss Tina Knowles) spending Saturdays pretending to peruse the aisles of 108-count toilet paper, power tools, and lawn furniture as I steadily make my way to the back just in time to hit up snacking primetime: the afternoon glut of free samples. Nothing makes an afternoon right like an array of vendors hawking free fruit snacks, smoked salmon, and orange juice (anyone wanna make out?) than washing it all down with the cheap treats at the Costco Café.
For less than $2, you can munch on a polish sausage and a soft drink the size of an oil drum before throwing it all away and heading back into the light with no evidence remaining of your hidden little secret. At least, that’s what I used to be able to do: the powers-at-be at Costco are now out to murder a fun weekend by getting rid of the Eastern European meat and go healthy, and even the CEO doesn’t sound pleased by it! Continue reading