For the past week, there’s been a few updates on Ben Affleck and his relationship with his soon-to-be ex-wife (divorce pending) Jennifer Garner. But what about Ben and his girlfriend Lindsay Shookus? If paparazzi shots taken outside of Nobu are any indication of the truth, then there might be some trouble.
The Sharknado films (I just did my charity work for the rest of the year by referring to Sharknado as a film) are an extra-salty mess that will fill your eyes with questionable-looking creatures and your ears with pure nonsense. Someone at Syfy should give Tara Reid a little coffee mug that reads “Most On Brand,” because today she gave a truly confusing mess of an interview with the Australian morning show Today Extra. I’m guessing that the viewers of Today Extra didn’t think Tara was going to take the title literally and start today off with an extra-messy interview.
Today, if you wanted to watch a TV show about nothing starring a bunch of selfish assholes, you’d probably turn on Keeping Up With The Kardashians. But in the 90s, there’s a 99.999999% chance you’d be watching Seinfeld. Jerry Seinfeld announced that the ninth and final season of Seinfeld would air in 1998. NBC wanted Jerry to stick around, but nothing could have kept him, not even the promise of $5 million an episode.
It’s that time of the year when the employees of Forbes magazine pull out their calculators and make us all feel poor. As you already know, this year the crown has been taken off the head of Emma Stone and placed onto that of Scarlett Johansson.
That loud squeal you just heard was either the sound of a spare chair being pulled over to Willam, Phi Phi O’Hara, and The Vixen’s table in drag queen detention, or that one friend who lives for RuPaul’s Drag Race drama. Season 7 co-runner-up Pearl recently spoke about her time on the show, and she’s painted RuPaul as more of a drag than a queen.
Bears, is there anything they haven’t gotten into this year? Stealing cupcakes and tricking people into thinking they’re dogs. Now we’ve got a black bear from Connecticut who casually sauntered into a liquor store in the middle of the day. I guess the honey and salmon just wasn’t cutting it back at the river, and it needed something a little stronger.
A security camera video shot outside of Crazy Bruce’s Liquor in Bristol, Connecticut on Monday. Around 2pm, Paddington Booze walked up to the front door and went inside. As you can see from the video, a clueless human customer even walked in not long after. Crazy Bruce’s assistant manager Dan Niedzwiecki told the Hartford Courant:
“The customer didn’t even see the bear when he came in – we told him to hurry up, but he didn’t know why. He was kind of shocked. At the time he had no clue – he was just walking in minding his own business.”
After browsing the store for a bit, the bear eventually left. No human inside was hurt. I guess the bear didn’t find what it was looking for. Or maybe it realized it couldn’t pay for the booze because it left its wallet at home. Here’s a tip for any bears that find themselves in the same situation: just take the booze! We humans and our soft, mushy faces will be too scared of your claw-filled paws to do anything about it. Grab some jerky on your way out too.
The BEAR necessities! I guess our four legged friends enjoy Crazy Bruce’s too! Our Bristol store had quite the visitor today!!! Check out our other crazy events at crazybashes.com
Posted by Crazy Bruce's Liquors on Monday, August 13, 2018