If I know anything about Liam and Noel Gallagher, it’s that the only thing they hate more than Adele and popular music is each other. Now, there are two ways to keep the fires of a feud burning. You can pull a Mariah Carey and softly fan the hot coals of hate by continually refusing to acknowledge said person you’re feuding with. Or you can do like Liam Gallagher did recently and dump an entire can of gasoline on it.
This all happened on Twitter, which makes sense, since Twitter is basically the internet’s unsupervised fire pit. The Independent isn’t sure what set Liam off, but they think it might have had something to do with some positive comments Noel received during a recent Gigwise interview about his upcoming third solo album. Because he’s such a sweet, supportive younger brother, Liam decided to congratulate Noel by coming hard for him and his producer David Holmes. David was dragged into this mess, because he was responsible for the nice words, which included calling Noel’s new album “fun.” Liam opened with a slap at David for being a “YES man“, then proceeded to shit all over Noel and compare him to a ground-dwelling vegetable.
Hot douche hall of famer Maksim Chmerkovskiy and fellow Dancing with the Stars professional dancer Peta Murgatroyd are getting married. They announced that back in December during a show in Miami. They’re also apparently expecting a baby. That was announced on Monday on the set of DWTS, but not by Maksim and Peta. That announcement was provided by DWTS co-host Erin Andrews, and it was broadcast to everyone on set live via her still-on microphone.
According to TMZ, not a whole lot of people knew that Peta was knocked up; some close friends and family members didn’t know. But apparently Erin had some insider information, so she decided to go backstage during rehearsal and congratulate Maksim on successfully stuffing Peta’s pocket. The only problem was that she was hooked up to a mic, and everyone heard. As for how awkward it made things between Erin and Maksim and Peta, the answer is: very. Sources say that Maksim and Peta are pissed, because they wanted to announce it themselves. Then Erin allegedly attempted to fix it by trying to play it off like it was a joke.
As for if Peta is even pregnant or not, multiple sources are whispering to People that she is. Those sources could just be a bunch of people whose baby monitors and car radios accidentally intercepted a signal from the DWTS mic feed. Then again, they could have insider information. Maybe they were members of the DWTS audience who caught Season 22 winner Nyle DiMarco helping his partner Peta clean morning sickness barf off the mirrorball trophy on their way out of the studio last night.
I guess if Erin needs a silver lining, it’s that the only thing more embarrassing than accidentally blowing a pregnant lady’s cover would be if the cast and crew of DWTS heard her congratulating a lady who wasn’t even pregnant. Although that would have definitely made for some way more entertaining listening.
Here’s maybe-future-daddy Maksim making one of my nightmares come true by staging a flash mob at The Grove today.
Pics: ABC, Wenn.com
Leonardo DiCaprio, seen above trying his best to sneak out of a club incognito (sorry Leo, but that scraggly bro beard will always give you away), was out with a few ladies in New York last night. One of them was Leo’s current favorite party friend, Rihanna. The other was a blonde model (shocking, I know), but it wasn’t the blonde model named Ela Kawalec that he was supposedly doing as of last week, and it wasn’t the blonde named Roxy Horner that he was allegedly doing last month. It was actually a blast from Leo’s nut-busting past, Nina Agdal.
Nobody knows if it was on purpose or by accident that Leonardo was at the same club with RiRi and Nina. TMZ says they were all there at the same time, which means there’s a chance RiRi and Nina were the only ones who were kind enough to show up after receiving a mass text that said: “Yo, boo boos, who wants 2 get drunk with their Oscar-winning friend Leo!?” Then again, it could all be a coincidence that he was seen at the same club as Nina Agdal. Considering just how many model vaginas Leo’s penis has been inside, his chances of being at the same club as a model he’s already had sex with are probably pretty high.
I know people recently started to doubt Leo’s commitment to saving the earth after it was revealed that he had taken a private jet to accept an environmental award. But he’s obviously extremely dedicated to a green lifestyle since it appears that he might be recycling models. And I bet that if they were actually at the club together and she did end up back at his place, Leo would have sent her home the next morning in a zero-emissions rickshaw pulled by Lukas Haas. So there!
Here’s more of Leo, Nina, and RiRi leaving the club at different times last night. I wish I could tell you why Rihanna is wearing the contents of a yard sale put on by a grandmother and her grandson, but I don’t have an answer for that.
Earlier this month, there was talk that Jay Z would be recording a follow-up/response album to Beyonce’s Lemonade. Then yesterday, we found out that they were maybe making a secret album together that may or may not be about Lemonade. In the meantime, Jay Z has gotten himself a little bit of attention by recording a song that mentions a certain refreshing lemon-based drink.
Last night, Jay Z released a remix of “All the Way Up” by Fat Joe and Remy Ma on Tidal. Seeing the words “by Fat Joe” in 2016 probably wouldn’t cause anymore than a low-energy shrug from most people. But everyone is talking about it today because Jay Z injected it with a potent dose of relevancy by rapping:
You know you made it
When the fact your marriage made it, is worth millions
Lemonade is a popular drink and it still is
You can listen to it here if you subscribe to Tidal. If not, then you can listen to a short clip of it at TMZ. Although you don’t exactly have to hear it with ears to know that “Lemonade is a popular drink and it still is” sounds like something that was written by an alien observing our species from the cold beverage aisle at Target.
Jay Z also might have doubled-down on the subtle stunt queening with what Entertainment Weekly thinks could be a vague-ish reference to Jay Z’s Met Gala elevator beat down by Solange. During a quick shout-out to Prince, whose catalogue is on Tidal, Jay Z says: “Prince left his masters where they safe and sound, we never gonna let the elevator take him down.” Usually I’d say that’s a bit of a stretch, but this Beyonce and Jay Z we’re talking about here. I wouldn’t be surprised if there’s a cut of him rapping “Let’s go crazy in love, party like it’s 2003, Bonnie and Clyde. Little red Corvette, Bey Bey you’re much too fast. Do you get that this is a reference to my wife yet?”
The last time we checked in on Ben Affleck’s heart, it was still beating for his sort-of estranged wife Jennifer Garner. Sadly, Ben’s heart has to compete with Ben’s dick, and it sounds like his dick wanted some blonde strange recently. According to the Miami Herald (via Lainey Gossip), a Miami Uber driver claims he picked up Ben Affleck and a young blonde woman on Sunday. Ben and Blondie were going from The Standard hotel to the Miami International Airport, and you’d think that a Ben who just left a hotel with a young blonde would be in a good mood, but yeah, no. He wasn’t.
The Uber driver, who swears that it was Ben Affleck, claims that Ben was “surly” and it was pretty obvious the two had been arguing. As for if it actually was Ben Affleck and not just some grouchy dude in a dirtbag beard, a source at The Standard confirms that he was there, but that he was using an alias and his visit was “very on the down low.” Now that I look at that picture above, it does look a little like Jennifer Garner is making a face that says she regrets ever showing Ben Affleck how to download the Uber app onto his phone.
I have no idea why Ben was in Miami or what he was doing with some random blonde. Well, actually – I think I can guess what he was doing with the blonde. I also have no idea what they were arguing about when they got in that Uber, or if it even happened at all. For now, let’s just assume it did, and it was because Ben wouldn’t fork over the $500 to upgrade her ticket from coach to first class. “Excuse me? The Nanny gets a Lexus, and I get an aisle seat back in row 36? That’s right beside the toilet. My hair is going to smell like mile-high shit. Fuck you, Reindeer Games.”
How very John Waters of you, Shia LaBeouf (no disrespect to John Waters, of course). The last time former Disney kid and current master artiste Shia LaBeouf did something ~artsy~, he was riding an elevator with a rotating collection of strangers for 24 hours. Now he’s taking the concept of being stuck in a cramped people-mover with Shia LaBeouf on the road.
Vice says that Shia and his frequent art project pals, Nastja Säde Rönkkö and Luke Turner, embarked on a 30 day outdoor art thing called #TAKEMEANYWHERE for the Boulder Museum of Contemporary Art’s annual MediaLive event yesterday in Colorado. For 30 days, Shia and his friends will tweet GPS coordinates with the hope that someone will pick their asses up and drive them around. “Yo dude, that’s me every day” said about 90% of Colorado stoners.
According to Shia, #TAKEMEANYWHERE is about “making friends“, and adds that hitchhiking is “the ultimate collab.” Shia, Nasty, and Luke don’t get to choose where they’ll go, which means they’re at the directional mercy of whoever picks them up. They started in Colorado, but as of three hours ago, Shia and the gang were 5 miles north of the border in Wyoming.
Shia and friends didn’t bring a camera crew with them, but luckily some of their drivers have helped to document their experience. Yesterday, three bros found Shia and took him out for lunch (Shia’s appearance happens at the 0:40 mark).
I don’t want to be a Debbie Downer here, but being taken out for lunch by a bunch of strangers seems like the best-case scenario. Like, I’m pretty sure if you took a night school class on hitchhiking, the instructor would begin by warning you that a free sandwich is pretty low on the list of things you’ll get as a result of getting into a car with a stranger. A person driving away from you with all your possessions inside, sure. Although it’s got to be equally risky decision for the people picking him up too. Like, you’re stuck in a car in the middle of no where with Shia LaBeouf. The best case scenario of which is that he doesn’t go full Art Shia on you.
I know that picture totally gave it away, but let’s be honest; I’m confident that no matter what picture I used, everyone still probably would have correctly guessed Tori Spelling. You don’t become Hollywood’s most-shameless get-money-bitch by accident. Tori and The Deaner are still in Europe with their kids, and last week she rang in her 43rd birthday at a castle in Denmark. Those matching 10th anniversary tattoos must have drained a little too much cash from the party planning budget, because UsWeekly says that if you wanted to attend Tori’s birthday party, you had to fork over $300 first. Of course she did! Month-long European vacations don’t pay for themselves, after all.
A local newspaper called BT promoted Tori’s party a few days before it took place at Naesbyholm Castle, and they expected between 120-150 guests. Apparently there are at least 120 people in this world who are willing to spend $300 to watch Tori Spelling’s face get dangerously close to 43 candles, and they all live in Denmark. Guests also got to take a picture with Tori.
I just hope Tori has a Suze Orman-type in her life who persuaded her to put some of that birthday party money towards her $38,000 American Express bill. “No Tori, You have enough fake hair. Put some of that money into a repayment plan.”
Since Tori charged admission to her birthday party, and she’s all about getting money, I wonder what else she charged for? Whatever else the guests were required to pay for, I’m sure The Deaner broke it all down for them.
“Hvad er crappening, cheese danishes? So listen, don’t put your wallets away just yet. Cake is $40. If you want a picture of the birthday girl, that’s an extra $20. Gotta drain the lizard or take a dump? $5 toilet fee. Beer will set you back $30 a bottle. Hey, do me a favor – if you’re heading over to the bar, grab me a cold Carlsberg? Or warm – The Deaner ain’t picky when it comes to scoring free booze.”
I know, guy in the Kenny Powers sunglasses, I’m just as shocked as you are. Last week we learned that Henry Cavill had maybe sat his 19-year-old British college student girlfriend Tara King down, told her to put away her homework for a second, and informed her that she wasn’t going to be a famous person’s girlfriend anymore. But true mid-30s/teen love never dies, apparently. Or at the very least, finds a way to bring itself back to life a few times before it’s officially declared dead.
Shortly after the rumors of them being done popped up, Henry and Tara were seen at a charity run in Henry’s home isle of Jersey. Yes, that buff piece in the black shirt standing next to a ponytailed blonde in the peach tank above is Henry and Tara. But just because Henry and Tara got all sweaty for charity together, doesn’t necessarily mean he’s back off the market. A source told UsWeekly last week that their plan is to remain “good friends.”
Yahoo has a couple better pictures of Henry and Tara at the charity run. All of which feature Henry in some tight spandex running leggings and a pec-accentuating GoPro holster, which you can see here if you want to see that. What am I saying? Who wouldn’t want to see Superman’s junk stuffed in some tights? Well, besides all the critics who are shuddering at the idea of watching Batman vs. Superman a second time, of course.
Yahoo says that Henry and Tara were joined by Henry’s family (that lady in the hat taking a picture of Henry and Tara is Henry’s mama) and Tara’s daddy, and that they “happily” chatted with each other. No word on what they chatted about, but I’m going to guess that at least one person made it awkward by saying: “So…this is weird, right? Like, are they a thing or not? I’d really like to know how I should be tagging my Instagram pictures.”
Because there are no shortage of celebrities who get an attention boner from a good old fashioned publicity stunt, there are people who are suspicious of just how true and real Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton’s love is. Dlisted, for example. Hell, I’m pretty sure that if Ted Casablanca was still around, there’d be no end to the stories about “Harajuku Mom” and “The Y’all-y Jean Giant.”
Well, real or fake (or a marketable combination of the two), The Cut has a theory about why Gwen and Blake’s relationship is getting so much attention in the first place, and it has to do with paying barely-famous people to talk about them.
Last night was the Los Angeles premiere of Alice Through the Looking Glass. One person who didn’t stroll up the red carpet was Helena Bonham Carter. I don’t know why she wasn’t there; maybe she couldn’t find an antique sewing machine for the undead ghost of an 1800s seamstress to make her an ensemble in time and decided that if she had to wear something off the rack and from this century, she wasn’t going to go. Regardless, I guess Anne Hathaway was missing her, because she decided to pay tribute to HBC with a meme yesterday.
Anne posted a picture of HBC in her rag bag best with the caption: “In a world of Kardashians…be a Helena Bonham Carter“, followed by a bunch of hearts and the word “(Red) Queen.” But if you want to see it, you’re going to have to swing by The Daily Mail. Why? Because shortly after she posted it, Anne yanked it down and replaced it with this:
Looks like we can add “shade” to the list that includes “photobomb” of words Anne Hathaway doesn’t really understand the meaning of. Correct me if I’m wrong, but Anne’s “In a world of Kardashians” felt like a straight-up read. Whatever it was, it was “unintended.” So Khloe, you can kalm down now; it looks like your services as the Kardashian family’s social media goon are not needed right now.
I don’t know if Anne necessarily had to clarify what she meant. After all, if Anne was going to come for someone, I’m pretty sure she’d do it by dressing up as a train and busting out a bitchy rendition of “Laughing Stock” from Starlight Express.
Here’s more of Ann-with-an-E at the premiere for ATTLG last night. Again, Anne really didn’t need to throw up that meme; she paid all the tribute to HBC needed by showing up looking like the Corpse Bride at her bachelorette party.