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Open Post: Hosted By Miss Piggy And Her Tony Bennett-Saving Heroics

November 25, 2016 / Posted by:

There was almost a Code-Red Crooner Down emergency during Macy’s annual Thanksgiving Day Parade yesterday. Luckily, it was prevented by a quick-thinking Muppet. 90-year-old Tony Bennett was riding a Hallmark Channel float with the queen of pure porcine puppet glamour Miss Piggy. Finally, a blonde icon worthy of Tony! I was hoping that Tony and Miss Piggy on a float together was the Hallmark Channel’s way of teasing a cheesy Christmas movie starring those two called Ham For The Holidays, but I think it was just because they’re both really good at singing.

At the end of a jazzy lil’ rendition of Santa Claus Is Coming to Town, the float lurches forward and Tony’s balance doesn’t keep up. Tony looked like all of us after eating our weight in stuffing and gravy chasers and attempting to excuse ourselves from the dinner table. Thankfully, Miss Piggy was there to prevent Tony’s 90-year-old self from falling off the float. Miss Piggy typically uses her good arm for busting out a karate chop on Kermit, but yesterday she used it to brace Tony Bennett and help him stay upright.

Miss Piggy would normally let a human drop so she can have the spotlight all to herself, but not yesterday. I hope the next time I walk into a Hallmark store I see a greeting card featuring a watercolor illustration of Piggy and Tony’s parade moment. Nothing says “I’m here for you” like a puppet selflessly helping out a human friend.

via New York Post

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Katy Perry And Orlando Bloom Didn’t Break Up

November 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Earlier this week, In Touch claimed that Katy Perry’s relationship with Orlando Bloom was done after 10 months of dating, and that it happened shortly after Halloween. Katy and Orlando must have sobered up the day after Halloween, looked at those pictures of them dressed up as expired cough syrup hallucinations of Hillary and Trump, and decided they just couldn’t look at each other the same way ever again. But that’s probably not the case.

While her arch nemesis was doing the Mannequin Challenge with some rented friends, Katy celebrated an intimate Thanksgiving yesterday with her family, which included Orlando. We know this because Katy made sure to Instagram proof that it happened.

Orlando even got his own festive flannel onesie. You know you’re really a member of the family when they feel comfortable enough around you to let your loose trouser change jingle-jangle in pajama pants all day.

Nothing says “We’re still together, goddamnit!” like your boyfriend holding a baby and referring to him as “family.” I do like how she says she can’t quit him now. That’s called covering your ass. She might not be quitting him now, but get back to her in a couple days when his Tamagotchi and Selena Gomez CDs are in a box at the end of her driveway.

Pic: Instagram

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Kanye West Might Not Be Doing So Well

November 25, 2016 / Posted by:

Kanye West checked into the UCLA Medical Center on Monday for what started as a psychiatric evaluation (or to deal with “exhaustion“, if you’re getting your news from People). Eventually we learned that Kanye’s doctor, Dr. Michael Farzam, called the paramedics and felt like he needed to be put on a 5150 hold. TMZ has an update for anyone who still doesn’t think Kanye’s situation is that serious – *cough* People’s sources *cough*.

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Afternoon Crumbs

November 23, 2016 / Posted by:

Mariah Carey talked about her ex-fiancé James Packer and the wedding extravaganza that never happened on Ellen today (she’s “doing well“, by the way) and she came out in a red silk robe and diamonds. It looks like Victoria’s Secret will have to cancel their fashion show next week since Mimi just single-handedly filled television’s yearly quota for holiday-themed lingerie sexiness – Lainey Gossip

Legend has it that this is the same look you’ll see if you square off with Britney Spears over the last bag of Cheetos at the Mobil Mart – The Superficial

Anna Faris is so happy that her former poochie Pete has been found and is “deeply sorry” she gave him away. That’s great and all, but Pete doesn’t speak human, so I hope her apology to Pete came in the form of a giant basket of Snausages – Celebitchy

Another one of the Mob Wives is about to become a Mob Granny – Reality Tea

Kim Kardashian is apparently the more stable one in her marriage. Well, duh! With such a low and large center of gravity, how could she not be? – IDLYITW

Even Elle Fanning can’t escape the choker trend – Hollywood Tuna

I, too, am thankful for Everybody Wants Some! and all those baseball-playing hunks in ass-hugging sports shorts  – Pajiba

Prepare to be shocked: Kylie Jenner is in a sheer bra again – Drunken Stepfather

Canadian tennis player thirst trap alert! – Popoholic

Uruguayan soccer player penis alert! – (NSFW) OMG Blog

Okay, but I think we’d all love to see John Waters doing the Electric Slide, right? – Jezebel

In case you’re new to Earth, here’s what Emily Ratajkowski looks like without a top on – (NSFW) The Nip Slip

I’ll take 12, one for each month – Boy Culture

Olympic gymnast Laurie Hernandez won Dancing with the StarsJust Jared

Liam Hemsworth finally gave Miley Cyrus the candy raver rainbow ring of her dreams – HuffPo

Pic: YouTube

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People Magazine Claims Kanye West Wasn’t Checked Into The Hospital Against His Will

November 23, 2016 / Posted by:

When the news broke on Monday night that shit had gotten all kinds of real for Kanye West’s mental health situation, there were a lot of details to process. TMZ said that Kanye was being held at the UCLA Medical Center for a psychiatric evaluation regarding his latest series of mid-concert meltdowns and exhaustion-triggered Saint Pablo tour cancellation. Then TMZ said Kanye’s doctor, Dr. Michael Farzam, had put Kanye on a 5150 hold, aka the universal hospital code for “This is serious.” People claimed Kanye was fine and he was just chilling out in the hospital for “sleep deprivation.” People now claims to have more information, and they’re still shaking their head in a “nope, nothing to see here!” way.

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