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Prince Charles Will Be The Next Head Of The Commonwealth

April 20, 2018 / Posted by:

Queen Elizabeth II is 91 years old, and no 91-year-old needs to keep working at that age. They should be gobbling scones and binging on East Enders reruns on their couch. The Queen has decided that it’s time to give up her job as the Head of the Commonwealth, and according to The Telegraph, it’s going to her first son, Prince Charles. As expected.

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Rachel Weisz Is Expecting A Baby With James Bond 

April 20, 2018 / Posted by:

The New York Times recently did an interview in the Manhattan home of Rachel Weisz and Daniel Craig, and at the beginning of the interview they got a big surprise when she lifted up her shirt to show that the glow in her face was due to a Bond Jr. in her uterus.

[She] pulls up the loose gray sweater she’s wearing to reveal her secret. “I’ll be showing soon,” she says, with a radiant smile. “Daniel and I are so happy. We’re going to have a little human. We can’t wait to meet him or her. It’s all such a mystery.”

Rachel doesn’t say how far along she is, just that she’ll be showing soon. That picture of her and Daniel was taken earlier this month. Rachel is 48, Daniel is 50.I’ve known stress, but I’ve never been an almost-fifty mom/over-fifty dad to a paint-whipping, Wiggles screaming toddler before.

This will be Rachel and Daniel’s first kid (they’ve been together for almost eight years and married for almost seven). Rachel has an 11-year-old son named Henry with Darren Aronofsky. Daniel has a 25-year-old daughter named Ella with Fiona Loudon. That kind of sucks for that baby. Which one of its siblings will sneakily buy it booze when it turns 16? Henry will be almost 30 by then, and probably out of the house. Whereas it can definitely count older sister Ella out. She’ll be 41 by then, and that’s prime “Alcohol?!? I’m going to call your parents” age.

Pic: Wenn.com

Carrie Underwood Talks About The Accident That Messed Up Her Face 

April 20, 2018 / Posted by:

After an accident left Carrie Underwood with a bum wrist and 40 to 50 stitches in her face, she hid her visage from the world so that no one would recoil in horror at how hideously disfigured she was. In reality, she basically continued to look like Carrie Underwood. But it was a traumatic event for her, and she recently told the story of how it all happened. She also says her “big reveal” wasn’t supposed to be so dramatic.

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Michelle Williams Is Getting Married

April 19, 2018 / Posted by:

Earlier today, Michelle Williams (the Destiny’s Child one) hopped announced on Instagram that on March 21st, her boyfriend Chad Johnson (not the Ochocinco one) popped the question. How kind of Michelle Williams to wait until after Beyoncé’s big day before announcing her engagement. I know everyone makes Poor Michelle jokes, but it’s obvious that Michelle wasn’t being ignored all those years; she’s just a selfless soul who doesn’t attempt to upstage others.

Michelle shared a gallery of engagement pictures on Instagram, and wrote:

“On March 21, 2018, the love of my life @chadjohnson77 proposed and I said ‘Yesssssssss…..I will, I will, I will!!!'”

Chad, who is a pastor, proposed on vacation with a ring he’d been saving up eleven years for. Please note: Chad and Michelle have only been dating for about a year. Chad says he started saving after turning 30 and feeling “so lonely.” So he put $150 a month into a ring account to be used for his future fiancée.

Michelle doesn’t say when the wedding will be, or if any of Destiny’s Children will be her bridesmaids. But you know Beyoncé will be invited, which will no doubt make things awkward for God up in heaven that day. “My faithful servant Chad, blessings be to you on your – OMG is that Beyoncé in the front row?! Jesus, get over here and look!

Pic: Instagram

Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani Probably Aren’t Getting Married Any Time Soon

April 19, 2018 / Posted by:

It feels like ever since Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani got together back in 2015, any mention of their names is usually followed with a rumor that she’s mere moments from line-dancing down the aisle of a decorated barn to a ska version of Here Comes the Bride. That, or someone is screaming that she’ll soon be delivering Cracker Barrel’s newest customer. But Blake has said that marrying isn’t something he’s rushing into.

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