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Tila Tequila is back to show Amanda Bynes how crazy is really done. In a 7-minute-long video (that I watched in its entirety, because I'm crazier than Tila and Amanda combined), Tila creates electricity and energy balls with her own hands. I'll just let Tila's description of this video speak the sad crazy for itself:

Hey Guys!

For a long time now I have been able to do some pretty supernatural things that most would consider "SUPER HUMAN ABILITIES" I have noticed that everyday my powers are getting stronger, and stronger, and stronger. Now I know for a fact that God put me on this planet to help people remember that they too, are capable of having Super Human abilities because we were made in the likely image of God after all! You guys wouldn't believe what other stuff I am capable of doing, but for now I just wanted to show you something pretty basic. Well, it's not basic, but it is compared to my other abilities and I want to teach everyone else how to be able to do these things as well! These are the gifts that God gave you, and those Evil ones in power know this that's why they don't want you to remember! Well, too bad for them I am going to be the one to teach you how to get your GOD GIVEN SUPER HUMAN ABILITIES BACK!! So please subscribe to my channel because you DO NOT wanna miss these lessons I am about to show you.

For this first video here it's just an example of ONE type of "Energy Ball" that I can create out of thin air. If you look closely at my palms and in between my fingertips you will see the electricity that starts to form and change colors as I create them! Also you'll notice that since I caused the energy levels to go so high around me, that the sparkles of purple, green, and yellow spreads throughout the room!

This was shot using my photo booth so there is absolutely no special effects whatsoever!! More to come to stay tuned!!!

Love,
Miss Tila

Somebody needs to stop watching the Fantastic Four and stop reading old Shazam comics while under the influence of whatever she's under the influence of.

I looked and watched and looked and watched and I didn't see no energy balls of electricity. I just saw several balls of crazy. But you know, I still believe Tila, because it's obvious that one of those energy balls burned half of bitch's brows off.

via Videogum

I guess Prince Hot Ginge doesn't need to get drunk in Las Vegas to pull his wand out and play with it. Sometimes he does it in the middle of the day. As Duchess Kate laughed and thought to herself, "Watching Harry play with his wand is actually my job. I love life!," Prince William smiled to keep himself from crying while he wondered why she's not smiling at his wand. What's wrong with his wand?!!!

Prince William, Duchess Kate (with a half-blood prince in her womb) and PHG went to the inauguration of Warner Bros. Studios in Leavesden, Hertfordshire today and they visited several Harry Potter sets, jumped on the Bat Bike from The Dark Knight Rises and got a wand lesson. The three of them looked like Ron, Hermione and Harry: The Later-ish Years.

And I take back that Prince William thing I wrote in the first paragraph. He's not wondering why Kate isn't happy to see his wand. He's looking at his wand and wondering what the hair growing spell is. Is it Propecius Groweth? Or maybe it's Cha-Cha-Cha-Chia?

Here's more of PHG, DK and PW at Warner Bros. today. It's nice to see Kate wearing something from the Big Business maternity collection.

Taylor Swift's former slumber party snuggle buddy Harry Styles went to dinner at Dan Tana's in L.A. with a bunch of the Stewarts last night and depending on who you ask, he's bumping nipples with one of them.

The photo agency Pacific Coast News says that 19-year-old Harry was holding hands and kissing on the 33-year-old baby mother of Benicio Del Toro, Kimbo Stewart. The only good thing that can come out of Harry dating Kimbo Stewart is the crazed Directioners dragging her the same way that motorbike dragged her on the red carpet a million years ago. But PopCandies TV has video of Harry picking up a different Stewart. They have a video of 25-year-old Ruby Stewart getting a ride (not that kind of ride) from Harry Styles. So which Stewart is it or is Harry the pass-around-patty of the Stewart family and is doing all of them?

I say that it's not Kimbo and it's not Ruby and it's not Penny Lancaster. I say that it's the sexiest and easiest blonde tramp of the Stewart family: Rod Stewart!

My proof is this picture of Harry behind Rod. You can cut the sexual tension between those two with Kimbo's chin. Harry is gazing away, because he's so wrapped in a walking dream where he's sucking on Rod's juicy German Shepherd mole. Finally, a couple I can get behind. And no, I didn't mean that in more ways than one.

Suck on a ginger candy and get yourself a tall glass of soda water and a plate of saltines, because the heaves are a comin'.

Goopy Paltrow tells Ellen, in an episode airing today, that she obviously couldn't wear panties under the dress she wore to the Iron Man 3 premiere in Hollywood, so she had to do a little last-minute goop grooming. Goopy wants us to believe that dress was her only dress option (eye roll #1) and that she had no choice but to wear it (eye roll #2) and so her people had to find a razor to shave her goop fur off with (eye roll #3 + the heaves). Here's Goopy and Ellen's conversation about her wild crotch forest (via UsWeekly):

Goop: I kind of had a disaster. I was doing a show and I changed there and I went and I couldn't wear underwear. I don't think I can tell this story on TV!

Ellen: Well, now you've told it.

Goop: Well, let's just say that everyone went scrambling for a razor and so I went from being the most beautiful to the most humiliated in one day.

Ellen: I really have some questions now. You certainly don't take care of yourself. I mean, it was just the side of your leg. What is going on with you?

Goop: I work a 70s vibe, you know?

I'm with Ellen. Why would Goop need to shave the overgrown shrub on her Apple maker when she was just showing off her ass? Couldn't she just put her pubes into a low messy bun and call it a day? Is this Goopy's way of telling us that she has ass hair? Bitch had to shave her ass! I have heard that butt fur is a sign of true royalty. I mean, Queen Elizabeth has to take a Flowbee to her ass.

But seriously, Goopy is such a luxurious creature that she's got one of those Rumpelstiltscrotches and spins strands of gold from her coochie area. So I'm sure that once her slaves shaved all of the golden pube fur off of her crotch, they melted it down and made dozens of solid gold clip-on labia rings that you can soon buy on GOOP for $50,000 each.

And if you haven't heaved enough, here's Goopy rapping and singing a few lyrics of a Beyonce song.

I've always known that Wendy and Casper were going to freak on each other sooner or later...

The Swedish police taking his weed stash didn't get Justin Bieber down and before his concert in Stockholm today, he and a glasses-free Urkel leaned back and freak danced their way onto his tour bus.  I see Justin trying to make Usher jealous by leaning into that dude's crotch.

You can laugh all you want at those foolish onesies, but you know who's not laughing? Justin's au pair. That onesie makes it extra easy for her to change his diaper when he gets a violent case of the weed shits. And where is Justin's au pair anyway? She needs to stick a pacifier in his mouth, because sucking his thumb is going to give him buck teeth and then he's really going to look like a beaver.

Peaches Geldof and her husband Sherri from The Simpsons Tom Cohen are somebody's parents again. Peaches had a scheduled C-section on April 24th, her late mother's birthday, and I'm assuming that the doctor reached into her body and pulled out a tiny black lady with a donkey booty and a side-eye like no other.

A source tells The Sun that Peaches birthed out her second son and she and 1979 era Shelley Duvall her husband decided to name him:

PHAEDRA!!!!!!!!

The source says that they chose the name "Phaedra," because it's the name of an album by her favorite band Tangerine Dream. Peaches and Tom's other kid is named Astala, so when Phaedra and Astala get older, they can start a new age electronic band together and only sing songs about the constellation and Greek myths. Phaedra and Astala will headline Coachella 2033. Trust this.

The source also said that Peaches and Tom were "over the moon" and I'm going to ignore that violation against humanity, because they named their son PHAEDRA! Peaches can be all hipstery and pretend like she named her kid after an album by her favorite band, but I know the truth. She's a down low RHoA watcher and Phaedra is her idol. That makes me like Peaches just a little bit. I can't wait for Baby Phaedra to look at Peaches and spit out his first words, "You didn't send for me, but I still came for you."

No different than my office, a bunch of dildos on a laptop..... - fleawatch

Runners-up:

Rihanna finally wised up and cloned the only attractive thing about Chris Brown. - Ecce Homo

Since Drake won't murder her pussy a depressed Amanda Bynes decided to murder her ass and thighs instead. - TFBuckFutter

A Scientology Easter basket—melts in your mouth, creams in your hand. - tbeez

(Thanks, Ben)

Princess Frostine, the ho'd up version of Queen Frostine from Candy Land.

My favorite Candy Land character Queen Frostine used to look like this:

Over the years, Hasbro has changed Queen Frostine's look half a dozen times (including that one dreadful time they gave her dishwater blond hair and a fugly bridesmaid-in-an-icecapades-themed-wedding pink dress) and now she looks like a deflated Bratz doll. They changed her name to Princess Frostine, made her wear a double corset for three months, lipoed her arms, got her leg lengthening surgery, shoved an implant into her chin, shaved her brows off, painted new ones on with a Sharpie, injected collagen into her lips and threw one of RuPaul's old wigs onto her head. Then they made her stare at the ceiling for 10 days straight so her eyes would stay like that and she'd have permanent Audrina Patridge eyes. Now she looks like she fell right off of a Victoria's Secret fashion show runway.

The new Queen, I mean Princess Frostine looks like she's selling a different kind of candy. Get it, whore!

via The Atlantic

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When I first read the headline "Amanda Bynes Shaves Her Hair," I expected to see some second coming of Brit Brit shit and I was about to hide all the green umbrellas, but Wheelchair Jimmy's number one stalker only shaved half of her head. It's begins... Amanda tweeted out this note to the media with the pictures of her new hair and her aluminum foil cheek:

I buzzed half my head like @cassie! No more old photos! This is the new me! I love it!

Yeah, it's a good thing that she shaved some of that busted weave off, but the Skillrex look must be stopped. Dr. Kimberly Shaw did it better than everyone. And what's really terrifying is that now that Amanda's got shaved sides, she looks like a Miley Cyrus clone. They're multiplying. We don't need two!