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Angie Jolie must've been in a for real hurry to get to the Sarajevo from the Maleficent set in England, because ho didn't even change out of her costume. Angie is in Sarajevo with some of the child army to attend its film festival, but she looks more like she's there to drop a double, double toil and trouble spell on the city. Angie is a black pointy hat and a broomstick away from looking like Mrs. Roper going to a seance. Maybe she wore that black tarp of a dress so she can hide some orphans up in there and smuggle them out of the country easily?

The rest of my thoughts about Angie's look are best expressed through Shiloh's "Why did she have to wear the mournin' muumuu and Easy Spirit wedges again?" face.

Here we go again....

Morgan Freeman was a guest on NPR'S Tell Me More show the other day to promote one of his new movies and somehow the conversation moved into the topic of Obama and how the Republican Party had it out for Obama from the beginning. Morgan thinks that one of the problems is that we keep calling Obama the first black president when he's really America's first mixed-race president. Obama has said before that he identifies himself as an African-American dude. (Side note: I'm mixed and whenever somebody asks me which side I identify with most, I tell them the side that gets me the best presents for my birthday. It's the only logical way of looking at it.) Here's how Morgan Freeman broke it down for us:

"First thing that always pops into my head regarding our president is that all of the people who are setting up this barrier for him ... they just conveniently forget that Barack had a mama, and she was white — very white American, Kansas, middle of America. There was no argument about who he is or what he is. America's first black president hasn't arisen yet. He's not America's first black president — he's America's first mixed-race president."

He is being purposely, purposely thwarted by the Republican Party, who started out at the beginning of his tenure by saying, 'We are going to do whatever is necessary to make sure that he's only going to serve one term.' That means they will not cooperate with him on anything. So to say he's ineffective is a misappropriation of the facts."

And it was just last year when Morgan Freeman called Obama a black man while talking to Piers Morgan about the Tea Party crazies:

"Their stated policy, publicly stated, is to do whatever it takes to see to it that Obama only serves one term. What’s, what does that, what underlines that? 'Screw the country. We’re going to whatever we do to get this black man, we can, we’re going to do whatever we can to get this black man outta here.'"

WHICH IS IT, MORGAN FREEMAN? Stop allegedly boning your step granddaughter and clarify this shit. This nation needs to know whether or not Morgan Freeman thinks Obama is a black man or a mixed-race man. WE NEED TO KNOW. No, we don't, but we do need Morgan to answer Harvey Levin's calls about Katie Holmes and Tommy Girl. The only tea I want MF to spill is TomKat tea.

At least we'll always have this masterpiece from the Museum of Beards of Katie Holmes and Tommy Girl looking like two butch power lezzies at the top of their game. Those were the days when Tommy could hit a few keys on Stepford Katie's control pad and get her dress up like a power top to his power bottom. But the roles have reversed and Katie's the one controlling a bitch for now.

TMZ says that Tommy has pressed pause on his plans to file for divorce in California and is playing nice with Katie by keeping their custody fight in New York. TMZ also farted into our popcorn bags, because they claim that Tommy and Katie won't give us some extra dramatic Kramer vs. Kramer shit in a public court room anytime soon. BOOOOOOOO. Tommy's NY lawyers and Katie's lawyers are in a conference room somewhere in Manhattan quietly negotiating custody of Scientology's golden child, child support and money shit. One source says that if shit goes well, they can figure everything out in NY and won't have to move this mess to CA.

Well, well, well..... Earlier this week, Tommy was all ready to put on his best pair of stompin' heels and fight a trick hard. My guess is that Tommy changed his mind when Katie strolled to his locked closet door, held up its key and threatened to open it. Tommy is all for a bitch squeezing his nuts, but not like this and not by Katie. I love it. Oh, to be a Thetan sipping a martini on the end of Tommy's butt plug during those negotiations. I'd love to feel the clench of his nalgas as Katie threatens to tell everyone about the Shrine to David Beckham in his dungeon unless he agrees to not give Suri a Kiddie's First E-Meter Kit for her next birthday.

The greatest display of raw talent I've ever witnessed on the 3rd Street Promenade in Santa Monica, CA is when I watched a mangy cat in a busted velvet turban give SLYCIC (copyright: God Warrior) readings to tourists. But this might be the second greatest display of raw talent the 3rd Street Promenade has ever seen. HuffPo describes Eric Nash's rewind shuffle as a "super moonwalk," but this shit looks more like super moonrunning to me. It's like he's pavement skiing backwards without poles. Slow clap and drop a $5 in his fanny pack. If Eric Nash can do this while a mangy cat wearing a busted velvet turban sits on his head and gives fly-by psychic readings to tourists, the 3rd Street Promenade will be the raw talent capital of the world...or the US....or California....or at least Santa Monica.

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