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These two young gay actors have been boyfriend and boyfriend for a several years now. One is on a young adult drama, the other on an older housewifey series. For now, the two just pretend to be best friends, with no public PDA.

While Drama Guy is still closeted, Housewifey Guy is all but out. Ever since Drama Guy and his blonde beard “broke up”, Housewifey Guy has been putting the pressure on to come out publicly. He doesn’t even bother with beards, and wants Drama Guy to quit pretending he’s straight, too. Drama Guy is toying with the idea and has been polling his friends and a few select colleagues to see if they think that now is a good time to come out. His biggest opponent so far? His blonde ex, who worries that her popularity may suffer if she is exposed as a beard. (Blind Gossip)

Penn Badgley from Gossip Girl and Bree's big gay son (real name: Shawn Pyfrom) from Desperate Housewives is kind of too obvious, right?

Penn registers on my relatedtothemonchhichis radar, but he's never really registered on my gaydar. But I'm still going to go with Penn and Shawn, because Blake NotSoLively as the blonde beard makes sense. That lazy-faced trollop ruins everything.

This movie actress used to be on the cusp of A list. Now, she is still a B, but, will probably stay there for the rest of her career. Always attracted to and dating musicians, she recently decided to give one newly married rocker a special wedding present. Herself. He didn't seem to mind at all. Hey, it beats another set of china. Plus, it is not like they have not hooked up in the past even when he was dating his now wife. (CDAN)

Winona Ryder, Jamie Hince and Kate Moss? That's all I've got.

So, this reality star from one of my favorite reality shows. Not hard to guess which one if you read the site regularly. Anyway, she was at the airport the other day and checking in for her flight. Apparently there was an error so they had her in economy rather than first class. She did a don't you know who I am thing and the person said no, they didn't. "But, I am on a reality show." Still didn't work. Then she dropped the I used to be married to so and so. The clerk said, oh I loved him. Whatever happened to him. Still did not get our reality star in first class. They offered her business class, but she waited at the airport two hours for the next flight because she could not be seen in business class. (CDAN)

Camille Grammer? As much as the Saran-wrapped mound of ground heart in my chest twitches for Camille, bitch can't be serious for trying to drop her ex-husband's name. You can't pull that card when you get a divorce. That has as much clout as me telling the airline employee that I used to bone on one of their former part-time baggage handlers. Unless Camille was riding on Kelsey's flea dick in front of the counter, the employee isn't going to give a shit today, tomorrow or next lifetime.

Source: Star Magazine via Jezebel

Lindsay Lohan's spokeswhore Steve Honig is appalled that X17 posted an innocent video of her buying crystals in a Ziploc bag from a friend on the street and tried to make it sound like it was some kind of daylight drug deal. Steven would clutch his pearls, but White Oprah already ripped 'em off, chopped into lines and snorted 'em up.

The video shows LiLo sitting outside of Hal's Bar & Grill in Venice and handling a plastic bag full of rocks that look like they could be used to make a smoke baby with a crack pipe. Radar says that the bag is actually full of sea jasper, a meteor, rose quartz and quartz. A friend bought them for her from a store down the street. Steve said this about the video:

“Knowingly and consciously making inferences about Lindsay that are completely untrue, and creating a fictitious story to get more people to visit their site.

We were not given a chance to comment on this story before it went up, and no effort was made to gather the facts about what actually occurred.

When I addressed this with the agency, they told me 'we're not the New York Times.' They have made a horrific mistake; the worst part is, they know it but don't care."

You can say that this freckled bag of dumb wouldn't be idiotic enough to buy the bad shit on a busy street in the middle of the day, but I also said that she would never be dumb enough to screw up her probation. And she did. I also said that she would never ever be dumb enough to drink booze while she has to undergo alcohol testing. And she did. At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if she smoked heroin off of a stolen platinum spoon in front of the police station. The dumb bitch has turned "Don't Give A Fuck" into her full-time profession.

But I'm sure that it's just crystals (not of the meth variety). I'm also sure that in a few weeks a Dateline NBC investigation is going to reveal that hos are getting a crack-like high from licking sea jasper.

Even the United Nations can't bring LeAnn Rimes' at-war titties together - Celebitchy

Lindsay Lohan might be the only dumb whore on this planet who wants to fuck someone from Coldplay - Lainey Gossip

The chick in the purple barfing into a paper towel speaks for all of us - The Superficial

This petition asking Sesame Street to gay marry Bert and Ernie is totally wrong. We all know that Statler and Waldorf are the Muppets who should be wedded in marital misery - Towleroad

Emma Watson really needs to give that Pretty in Pink prom dress back to Molly Ringwald - Popoholic

The Photoshop Factor - The Berry

Panty Creamer of the Day: David Charvet - Hollywood Tuna

RPattz was just on the receiving end of an Adidas bukkake - Popsugar

Sofia Vergara's chichis cannot be contained - (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Needs more Lisa Turtle - Just Jared

Guess who's stretching their ass crack? - Cityrag

When is the medical community going to finally announce that The Situation's abs are actually giant herp warts? - Hollywood Rag

George Lopez and his three noses are out of a job - I'm Not Obsessed

Would you hit it? The maggot pillow, I mean - Videogum

This outfit would make a lot more sense if it was on Justin Bieber instead - Moe Jackson

Frances Bean Cobain is very Emo goth girl circa 1996 - ICYDK

Apparently, not every celebrity in Hollywood knows each other like that. Case in point: Shia LaDouche and Joe Jonas passed each other outside of a restaurant in West Hollywood yesterday and not one of them said a word to each other. Even if Joe didn't recognize Shia as thee Shia LaDouche, he could've at least pulled out a dollar and handed it to the raggedy walking muff ball who looks like a dirt-eating forest hobo. What a RUDE QUEEN that Joe Jonas is.

You know, I don't think it's a coincidence that this suspect scene looks exactly like you on the street when you run into the one-nighter who cried after he couldn't get his dick fuck-ready and then plugged up your toilet while taking a stage fright shit. The "don't look, didn't happen" face Joe is making gives it away. Oh, those two.

I don't even want to know what Paula Deen would do to that thing.

via Eater

Rebecca Black will have to learn about the other days of the week at home, because she left school last semester after JELIZ H8RS kept making fun of her in the hallways. Rebecca's mom, who is schooling her at home in between helping with her career, tells ABC News (via TMZ) that the constant bullying became too much for Rebecca to take.

Well, at least Rebecca no longer has to make the Sophie's Choice decision about which seat to take. Rebecca explained the hate like this:

"When I walk by they'll start singing 'Friday' in a really nasally voice ... Or, you know, they'll be like, 'Oh hey, Rebecca, guess what day it is?'"

"Guess what day it is?!" Did those bullies go to the Disney Channel school of bullying?

Rebecca needs to travel with me to my 8th grade experience and watch as the kids asked me, "Oh hey, Michael, guess what? You're a dyke!" or "Oh hey, Michael, I can see your pussy in those shorts."

I swear, 7th grade and 8th grade are the worst. 6th grade is sunshine and happiness, but as soon you step into junior high, everybody becomes a full-blown cunt. Everybody. Junior high is just a quad full of cunts after a quad full of cunts. But even though it was a fiery inferno of hormonal cunts, it taught me a life lesson: be even cuntier. If it wasn't for the hell that is 7th grade, I might not have grown up to be a bitter old bitch who spews words of cuntiness on a daily basis. And Rebecca Black is totally missing out on the experience (no she isn't). Like I said before, what doesn't kill you, makes you cuntier, etc...

Or Rebecca can just get that experience by reading the comments under her mess of a music video.

Mila Kunis dropped 20 pounds from her 20 pound body for Black Swan and doing so taught her that hos crying out a river of icantloseweights are lying to themselves. Naturally skinny ass Mila tells Britain's Glamour Magazine (via M&C) that thyroid problems be damned, wishing and wanting will make it so:

"I don't think I ever fully realized what a human body is capable of doing. But I think I was also, in a beautiful way, incredibly naive. I believed that I could do anything. I never for one moment thought that I couldn't do it. I believe in hard work. In self-drive and self-worth.

I'm a huge foodie, I love food. But when people say, 'I can't lose weight', no no no, you can. Your body can do everything and anything, you just have to want to do it."

Mila needs to dive into my ear and crawl into my head (skinny bitch can fit) when the clock strikes 11:11 or when I'm about to blow out my birfday candles. Because then she'll see that I really really want my body to be bonded onto the front of Mah Boo Anderson Cooper's in unicorn saliva and non-drying lube. Mila will also see that I really really want my body to grow a bendable 10" hard dick out of the bottom of my back. I want my body to those things, but that doesn't mean it's going to happen, bitch!

But seriously, I get what Mila's trying to say. Mila's basically saying that if I only eat diet pills and shower water for the next few weeks, I'll not only lose 20 pounds, but I'll also grow a dick out of my back. Right? Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and answer dozens of e-mail offers for free Hoodia.

A bitch would think that the plot of Bewitched would've made like the original Darrin and quick Hollywood completely after the diarrheaous movie version starring Nicole Kidman was shat out. But nope, Hollywood isn't done scooting skid marks all over the memory of Bewitched and what's worse is that two producers from that bomb movie are coming back to do it all over again for CBS.

The Wrap says that Marc Lawrence who wrote Miss Congeniality is writing the pilot right now. Douglas Wick and Lucy Fisher, who are responsible for that laxative of a movie, are producing the remake.

There's no need in screaming my ass lips off over this, because this is what Hollywood does and will continue to do until the earth's core finally blows up right after a remake of I Love Lucy starring Katherine Hagel is announced. Hollywood is always sticking their fingers down their froats to barf up remake after remake. A bunch of bulimics!

Besides, Bewitched never really had a place in the Tivo in my heart. The only thing I remember about Bewitched is trying to do Tabatha's coke nose twitch and thinking that Endora looked really hot on that plane wing. Speaking of, that "Endora lounging on a plane wing" thing would never happen today. The portal she uses to get to that wing now has a security checkpoint, and by the time the TSA finishes searching her ginger mop with a wand, Samantha's flight would be over.

And my only hope is that the producers bring the glory of Carrot Top to the masses by casting him as Endora.

Just like St. Angie Jo's stomach when a piece of actual food drops into it, Jennifer Aniston's vacancy womb is about to get the shock of its life. Up until now, Jennifer has only used her Public Storage womb to store an extra supply of lonely miserable tears that she dips into when her tear ducts go dry, but UsWeekly says that she's hoping to lease that space out to a fetus. A source type says that Jennifer is currently getting herself "baby ready." No, by that they don't mean that she's stroking the forehead of her Real Baby while telling it in a gentle voice that it will always have a special place in her heart and its new roommate in the nursery isn't going to change that.

The source says that while she's in Kauai, Hawaii with her snatched piece Justin Theroux, she's trying to get knocked the fetus up by eating a special diet and doing 45 minutes of yoga a day. The source put it like this:

" They have talked at length about getting married and starting a family. She is anxious for the next phase of her life and feels like this is the time.

They both want it to happen soon. They are moving quickly, but they know the feelings they have about [each other] are different from past romances."

It's been a while since my mom had the "birds and bees" talk with me, but if a ho wants to come down with a case of the BABIES!!!, shouldn't she be doing the Downward-Facing Dog right onto Justin's bare dick right before she makes his jizz kiss her ovaries by doing the Plow Pose? Not by doing beach yoga all day. Oh, Aniston, has it really been THAT long?!

That is the last time Aniston trusts a "How To Get Pregnant" book that "mysteriously" comes in the mail and has all of its pages missing except for a hand-written note that reads: "1. Go to beach. Pray to The Stork to bring baby. 2. Eat only earthworms and live fish. This smell brings The Stork out." Bitch got GOT again!