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Beyonce didn't donate it to that photo bomb beauty in the back for saving this shot. Instead Basement Baby's sister donated the $1 million she was paid to perform for Gaddafi's son. Back in 2009, Beyonce stuffed 1 million crisp dollar bills up into her lacefront after she sang at a New Year's Party hosted by Gaddafi's son in St. Barts. Beyonce's rep issued a statement once everybody started to throw her a "that blood money wig sure looks purdy" side-eye for performing for that crazy bitch's family.

All monies paid to Beyoncé for her performance at a private party at Nikki Beach St. Barts on New Year's Eve 2009, including the commissions paid to her booking agency, were donated to the earthquake relief efforts in Haiti, over a year ago. Once it became known that the third party promoter was linked to the Qaddafi family, the decision was made to put that payment to a good cause.

If your name is Whitney and you need to see the receipts, the Clinton Foundation has confirmed that they received Beyonce's $1 million donation.

Nelly Furtado also performed for the Gaddafi family in 2007 and Tweeted yesterday that she's going to donate the $1 million she made for that 45-minute show to charity.

HuffPo says that both Mimi and Usher were also paid $1 million to perform for the Gaddafi family. Usher hasn't said shit, but Mimi's response was this:

A face that says: "Um. Ahs already spent it."

The intergalactic space fly that flew out of a crater cocoon on the moon and took over a young Chinese woman's body by burrowing into her brain will bring her screeching alien act to the new season of Celebrity (?) Rehab (?). I was always told that Bai Ling is just naturally fucked up, but I guess some kind of wrong stuff is pulling at her strings. Bai could be addicted to snorting fireflies or chanting original haikus until she blacks out for all I know. The only thing that matters is that she's going to be on basic cable!

Dr. Drew better get a copy of Bailinganese Rosetta Stone and brush up on her language, because Bai can make you say "HUH?" in three words or less.

VH1 hasn't officially officially announced the cast, but TMZ got a hold of the list and they say Bai is on it. They also say that the DC Heid & Spencer, Tareq and Michaele Salahi from The Real Housewives of DC, are in the cast along with Dwight Gooden, Hobie from Baywatch and Michael Lohan.

Yes, Michael "I am so sober that I can give advice on how to be sober to people who want to be sober" Lohan is going into Dr. Drew's look at me clinic for fame whores. We already know that Michael is a wontshutthefuckup-holic and the only cure for that is for him to finally shut the fuck up. Can't Dr. Drew spare us by giving Michael a check if he promises to stick his turtle head back into his mesh shirt and shut up for good? I really hope Bai Ling uses her razor sharp nipples to cut Michael's stupid cell phone holder off of his waistband.

Thanks to that Little Hot Topic Hood mess, that Beastly piece of shit and the dozens of Snow White "reboots," Hollywood's latest game is taking literary characters and turning them out for the Twihards to gnaw on before the next installment of Bella Bites Her Lip comes out. And now they're going after Peter Pan! Somebody stand behind Sandy Duncan before the ho faints.

The Hollywood Reporter says that Channing Tatum, producer Joe Roth and screenwriter Billy Ray are peddling a pitch called Pan (or Peter Pan Begins) to various studios. There's not many details about the project, but judging by the title it's safe to say that this is about Peter Pan's time in the womb or something. THR doesn't know which character Carol O'Neal is planning on playing.

Now, if this shit was a sequel to Peter Pan (starring Carol O'Neal in the title role) and started right after the forever boy discovers Internet porn and springs quickly out of puberty into manhood, I'd be all about it. It could follow Peter Pan as he makes up for lost times by fucking his way through Neverland. HO SHIT, Pan style. He'd use pixie dust lube of course and they could call it Peener Pan. But since this is Peter Pan BEGINS (followed by The Green Pan and The Green Pan Rises), it doesn't seem likely that this will be making its way into my Fandango cart.

V Magazine lured Brit Brit Spears to their studio with a trail of Trenta Frapps and pounced on her when she got to the front door. Then a member of the ASPCA sedated her weave, threw it in a mange dip, attacked it with a FURminator and then microchipped it. Once Brit Brit was done with the ASPCA, V Magazine threw her into the arms of Mike Holmes who spackled her skin, gave her 1 coat of primer and 2 coats of paint.

At this point, Brit Brit was getting high off of this unfamiliar scent called CLEAN and she happened to stumble in front of a backdrop. V Magazine seized the moment by putting a white pussy in her arms right before Mario Testino yelled, "SAY CHEETOS!" They rushed the picture off into the V Photo-Sweat-Shop, where a group of children broke several fingers and burned dozens of hardrives from retouching all night. But they finally did it and BAM! Magic! And here you thought Brit Brit just rolled out of bed (or wherever she sleeps) looking like this!

The most shocking part of this is that Bieber doesn't have a SpongeBob SquarePants Band-Aid over his boo boo - Lainey Gossip

Charlie Sheen might have called his manager a "jew pig" and might have said that he wants to shave off Denise Richard's head. And by "might have" I mean he most likely did say those things. Blame it on the tiger blood. - The Superficial

If I had ovaries, they'd explode over these pictures of Ryan Gosling with animals at the zoo - Towleroad

I'm not sure if Aubrey O'Day's dogs are trying to drown themselves or rinse that shit off of their fur (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Coke. Bloat. - Hollywood Tuna

Why did I think this was Antoine Dodson at first? - Just Jared

Matthew McConaughey keeps his shirt on for Men's Fitness. When did he become nipple shy? - The Berry

Holly Madison untouched and unscrewed - ICYDK

James Franco's rep is a funny liar - Celebitchy

Ashley Tisdale is a lady - Popoholic

This will make a perfect dog shit picker upper - Popbytes

Harvey Price shows Jennifer Aniston how you really pose with a bottle of water - Hollywood Rag

The Sparkly vampire seems sad - I'm Not Obsessed

Things babies love - Cityrag

What is that SHIT on Clive Owen?! And I'm not talking about the shit on his knee - Popsugar

Sassy Gay Friend strikes again - TDW

(Image via Pacific Coast News)

Fresh off of her night in the drunk tank, Xtina has announced to Entertainment Weekly that she will be a judge on Mark Burnett's American Idol wannabe for NBC called THE VOICE, which premieres April 26th. Mark Burnett says that even though The Voice might seem like the unplanned baby American Idol gave birth to in a toilet, it's totally different. The Voice, based on a Dutch reality show called The Voice of Holland, will pair contestants with famous singers who will coach and mentor them. Xtina, along with Cee Lo Green and Adam Levine, will be one of those coaches/judges.

It's called The Voice, because during auditions the coaches will have their backs turned to the singers and give a "yes" or "no" based on their singing ability only. The "yes" button means that the coach wants to take the singer on as a student. If more than one coach chooses the same ho, then it's up to the singer to decide who they want to be mentored by. Once each coach has formed their team, they will train them to complete against the other students. Each week, the teams will be given the same song to perform. The voting audience at home will decide who gets the axe.

So if you sing like a nightingale, but have a face like a parrot's anus this is the show for you!

Here's what Xtina had to say about possibly becoming the new Paula Abdul.

“I am so excited to be part of such a wonderful project that celebrates music and the talent behind it. To be given the opportunity to help shape new artists’ careers and mentor them to see their dreams come to fruition is a task I welcome with open arms.mI am so happy to be working with fellow Grammy Award winners Adam and Cee Lo as I feel there is so much we can all bring to The Voice.”

This is good for Hatchet-tina Face! Who needs rehab when you've got reality TV. You get to sit on your ass and drink wine soda from a giant cup while pretending to be interested in some young hos yodeling. Screw touring the world, Xtina now has it made.

John Galliano sort of, not really apologized in a statement for being a drunken, belligerent mess in public, but he denies that he's an anti-Semite. Galliano used the "BUT SHE STARTED IT!" excuse and says that the allegation that he called someone a "dirty Jew face" is false. But Captain Hook's second cousin twice removed from the flat iron didn't talk about the video of him giving the Hitler salute with his tongue.

The full statement is here for your eye-rolling pleasure, but the real shit you should spend your time with is Kunty Karl's slappity slap slap to Galliano's face. But Galliano is up first:

Since the events of last Thursday evening I have not been able to make any public comment on what took place based upon advice from my French lawyer. However, given the continuing delays at the French Prosecutor's Office I should make my position clear.

I completely deny the claims made against me and have fully co-operated with the police investigation.

A number of independent witnesses have given evidence and have told the police that I was subjected to verbal harassment and an unprovoked assault when an individual tried to hit me with a chair having taken violent exception to my look and my clothing. For these reasons I have commenced proceedings for defamation and the threats made against me.

However, I fully accept that the accusations made against me have greatly shocked and upset people.

I must take responsibility for the circumstances in which I found myself and for allowing myself to be seen to be behaving in the worst possible light.
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I only have myself to blame and I know that I must face up to my own failures and that I must work hard to gain people's understanding and compassion. To start this process I am seeking help and all I can hope for in time is to address the personal failure which led to these circumstances and try and earn people's forgiveness.

I have fought my entire life against prejudice, intolerance and discrimination, having been subjected to it myself. In all my work my inspiration has been to unite people of every race, creed, religion and sexuality by celebrating their cultural and ethnic diversity through fashion. That remains my guiding light.

Anti-semitism and racism have no part in our society. I unreservedly apologise for my behaviour in causing any offence.

And here's Kunty Karl doing what he does best. Without commercial interruption!

"I’m furious, if you want to know. I’m furious that it could happen, because the question is no longer even whether he really said it. The image has gone around the world. It’s a horrible image for fashion, because they think that every designer and everything in fashion is like this. This is what makes me crazy in that story. The thing is, we are a business world where, especially today, with the Internet, one has to be more careful than ever, especially if you are a publicly known person. You cannot go in the street and be drunk — there are things you cannot do... I’m furious with him because of the harm he did to LVMH and [chairman and ceo] Bernard Arnault, who is a friend, and who supported him more than he supported any other designer in his group, because Dior is his favorite label. It’s as if he had his child hurt."

I absolutely love that the strings of dried human tears on Kunty Karl's taint aren't melting because of what Galliano said, they're melting because of what he's doing to the fashion industry! THINK OF THE FASHION INDUSTRY! It's like if someone kicked a kitten and blood splattered on his new shoes. The first thing he'd shout out is: "MY SHOOOOES!" The cunt stays cunty, and I love it.

Just add Galliano to the pile of things that Kunty Karl hates including: children, fat people, Harry Potter, Muggles in general, smiles, sunlight, flowers, oxygen and (enter everything that's found in a Disney movie here).

And this just in, Le Parisien (via HuffPo) reports that he will be tried for making a racial slur in public. Galliano could get up to 6 months in prison if convinced. Oh, I hope Kunty Karl is called as a character witness. Imagine him fanning himself on the stand...

I don't watch Cougar Town so I have no idea if these pictures of them shooting in Hawaii should be filed under: SPOILER ALERT. If they do, then please accept my apology in the form of these visual gifts of Josh Hopkins' nipples, a hot dude who is obviously a muscle bottom and Courteney Cox's chichis. You know that I'm a bitter cunt who is allergic to giving compliments, but I have to say that Courteney is looking hot here. So hot that the Botox in her face just might melt right out of her pores.

Sitting on a rocket that should be launched into the black hole (or Ronnie's asshole), La Pequena Xtina opens up her pickle wrangler and pushes out a Jacuzzi jet's worst nightmare on the cover of Rolling Stone. We can all raise our pitch forks at Rolling Stone, but we are as much to blame for this as they are. We all watched that first preview of the first season of Jersey Shore. We all watched every episode of the first and second seasons. We all had something to say about this shaved wolf woman and typed it in detail on the Internet. We created her! So all of us should throw ourselves on that rocket heading towards the black hole too. (Huddle time: Just as the rocket is about to launch, we'll all accidentally fall back onto the ground. Don't tell Snooki.)

In the new issue of Rolling Stone, the kidney stone Xtina admits that she gets embarrassed when she watches herself on Jersey Shore and knows that she mostly looks like a log of poop out of a Vitamin A addict's ass.

"If I do something stupid, which is pretty much the whole time, I hate it. I just hate it. Obviously, they're only going to put the good stuff in, and the good stuff is us drunk, so all I'm seeing is me drunk and falling down. That's how I am when I party, but some of the stuff I do is, like, 'Really, Nicole?' I look like a freakin' alcoholic. I'm like, 'You're sweating, your makeup is running, you look gross.' I just look like shit."

Before Jersey Shore, Snooki wanted to be a veterinary assistant, but she says she can never go back to that life now that she's America's sweetheart.

"When Jersey Shore ends I'm going to do more spinoffs. If MTV doesn't want them, another network will be, like, 'What does Snooki do now?' or 'Snooki's getting married!' What I'd like is to turn out like Jessica Simpson, with her whole brand. She makes millions...I'm trying to build an empire, because after this I can't get a normal job. I mean, how do I go and sit behind a desk?"

The good news is that if Jessica Simpson looks down into the crevices in the bottom of the barrel, she'll actually see someone looking up at her! Good for Jess! The other good news is that the chances of Snooki building an empire are about as slim as me growing an extra b-hole (I've tried). They say Rome was built in a day, right? Well, it takes Snooki more than a day to spell Rome.

Snooki also tells the MTV of music magazines that shooting a reality show is just like prison!

"It messes with your head. That's why we go crazy. That's why we fight with each other. That's why we drink. We're living in a house for two months with that shit. We can't have cellphones, TV, radio or the Internet. If the president died, we'd have no idea. There's no normalcy. It's just like prison, with cameras."

If Jersey Shore is a prison and Snooki is an inmate, why the fuck do all of us feel like we're the ones being punished?!

Speaking of getting punished, since we're already in that place, here's a video of Snooki abusing pickles.

That sound you just heard was the Vlasic pickle stork flying directly into a plane's motor.

Did Mercury jump out of retrograde and dive into a pool of fuckery, because stranger than strange things are going down. Lump this item from Page Six into that category. Susan Sarandon isn't throwing a come hither pose at Judah Friedlander for the cameras. Page Six is saying that Susan's really body wants to hump that trucker hat right off of Judah's head. And apparently, she did.

Susan's supposed intimate relationship with that ping pong dude must be non-existent, open or casual, because a source tells Page Six that Susan got on Judah after shooting a guest spot (as his maybe love piece) on 30 Rock last month. An "on-set source" says they definitely "hooked up." But Judah kept coy and wouldn't confirm or deny that he ta-ta-ta-ta-touched Susan like that.

"You know, one of my New Year's resolutions is to only go out with Oscar winners. I just can't say either way what's going on with me and Susan."

Post-Tim Robbins Susan really does have a thing for nerdboy-looking dudes who "may or may not" have seen a real-life vagina that doesn't belong to one of their relatives. But you know, I'm all for it. If there's any cougar out there who could whip a peen into shape and show a fanboy the art of l'amour, it's MS. SARANDON!