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It is a barely kept secret that these two A list movie actors swing both ways when it comes to women and men. Although their public relationships have all been women the two continue to see men when the chance presents itself. Well, considering the two have been co-stars in the past, it is not surprising at all that they have taken the opportunity to avail themselves of each other. Until recently, the female significant other of one of the actors would also join them on occasion. It was actually her suggestion that the two guys hook up because they would keep it private and her suggestion that she join them. (CDAN)

The possibilities are endless, so I'm just going start throwing them out and hope that one sticks.

George Clooney, Brad Pitt & St. Angie? (The problem with this one is that I've never heard that Brad Pitt's main entree of choice is dick and I thought St. Angie hated George's ass.)
George Clooney, Kevin Spacey & Stacy Keibler?
Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hardy & Blake Lively?
Bradley Cooper, Taylor Lautner & Olivia Wide?
Hugh Jackman, John Travolta & Deborra-Lee Furness? (Hey, maybe Hugh's a chubby chaser and is into bald bears?)
Will Smith, some A-lister with a peen & Jada Pinkett?

Tommy Girl is not included this list of guesses, because if a woman gets too close to him while he's fucking on a dude, she'll instantly fall in love with him and he'll have to break her heart. Tommy doesn't want to do that.

SO easy.

Who was paid $15,000 in cash this week in exchange for frolicking around in her bikini on the beach? That’s a lot of cash money for you and me, true. But for them? It’s change. It’s really, really not much. In that world, it’s almost nothing. Consider that Tori Spelling supposedly charges at least 4 times that for a photo op with her kids and you get a sense of how low this piece of shit is scraping these days. She used to be able to throw that much away on a night out.

Oh and by the way, it had to be cash. She was super hard up for the cash. What are some of the things one might pay for in cash only? (Lainey Gossip)

Another day, another blind item about how Lindsay Lohan poses in staged photo shoots for cash and only cash. If this trick can't find room in her ham wallet to safely store all of her cash, she needs to start accepting PayPal.

This television girl has never been known for being very religious. In fact, many of the activities in which she has engaged might be considered the exact opposite of godly. However, look for her to start sprinkling her language with religious references in the near future. It’s a calculated move to both differentiate her from her colleagues as well as to help her fit in with new people who don’t look kindly on those who sin and blaspheme. (Blind Gossip)

Courtney Stodden is already the spiritual leader of this generation, so this has to be that trash heap heffa Kim Kuntrashian. The only way Kim can prove to the public that she has found the holy way is if she shaves her head, moves into a monastery and takes a vow of silence for the next 400 years. We'll keep a webcam on her ass so she won't totally feel not at home.

Lindsay Lohan should really tie weights to Ali Lohan's flip flops before she completely blows away and White Oprah loses her backup ATM - The Superficial

2012 is the year everything ends, but at least the last thing I see will be Prince Hot Ginge in a carrot hammock - Lainey Gossip

Jessica Biel's brother needs to drink more tequila - Celebitchy

The only thing that can make LMFAO tolerable is a whole lot of Air Force nipples - Towleroad

Snooki is skinnier, douchier and the exact shade of a sun-kissed skid mark - Hollywood Tuna

And here's half of a Miranda Kerr nipple - (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Panty Creamers of the Day: Ginger Edition - The Berry

Hilary Duff's ass and Hilary Duff's belly are in a contest to see which one of them can get the bumpiest - Popoholic

Howard Stern is officially an America's Got Talent judge - ICYDK

Katy Perry looking very "Mary Kay regional sales manager" - Just Jared

All is well in the world now that Leonardo DiCatchaHo is back to dating Victoria's Secret model - Popsugar

Shit Gay Guys Say and yes, I think I've said every one of those things at least once - OMG Blog

The SNL Christmas card has everything.... - The Daily What

St. Angie tries to conquer the hand on face pose and fails - Hollywood Rag

SPOILER ALERT: Suri Cruise is all of their stylists - Cityrag

Two people you don't care about broke up - I'm Not Obsessed

This mom is going to feel really stupid when she finds out he ate the last stash and not the last donut - Videogum

(Image via Flynet)

With her ladies-in-waiting at her side, Suri Cruise stomped through the streets of Manhattan this morning wearing a fur coat and a pair of gold heels that you might think she stole from a middle-aged hooker in the Bronx. But how dare you think that. Suri never touches an average mortal until their Thetans have been choked out with barley-scented steam. Suri's coat is made from Auntie John Travolta's old wigs and her exquisite heels are made from the gold coins the Scientologists throw at her feet when she walks up the church aisle to her throne. It really takes a lot of money and effort to dress like Strawberry Shortcake as a mafia wife.

And I know that Tommy and Stepford Katie are simply Suri's handmaidens, but couldn't they at least try to catch up to her glamour? Those two homely hags look like they should be sorting fish on a boat and I know that's not the look Tommy is going for. Burn both of those ensembles, Suri!

Donna Lyon needs more people, or at least needs one person to tell her that when you rent your $8 million townhouse to Courtney Love, your shit will get messed up. The #1 rule in real estate has always been: Do not rent to Courtney Love unless you don't care if your house ends up looking like an abandoned Salvation Army turned homeless crack den. Donna did not know this, because she let Courtney live in her West Village townhouse eight months ago and now she wants to be rid of the mess. Donna filed papers in NYC to evict Courtney for almost burning her house down, wallpapering over custom-glazed walls and not paying her rent for the past 2 months. Wait until Donna finds out that Courtney turned her basement into a meth lab/anti-Dave Grohl shrine that's run by a homeless man she pays in handjobs and cigarette butts.

Donna tells Page Six that when she bought the townhouse last year, she brought some fancy interior designer in to do the whole place. Shortly after Courtney moved in and started paying $27,000 a month, she painted and wallpapered most of the walls in the house. Donna thinks it will take $100,000 and 12 weeks to get the house back to what it looked like before the meth tornado swept in. Donna went on to say, “Courtney has wallpapered and painted a large portion of the property without my consent. I learned about this when I wanted to sell the house and had photographs taken. They sent me the brochure and I said, ‘This can’t be my property.’ I came to New York to see it and I was horrified by what she had done. The walls that had been hand-painted and glazed were ruined, covered in damask wallpaper and ice-blue paint.”

Courtney and Donna will knife fight in court during a hearing scheduled for next week.

Donna is doing it wrong by going to the courts. If she really wants Courtney out, she just has to throw a RAID fogger through the front door and when that albino human roach comes running out, destroy her by splashing a mixture of Borax and sugar at her. It's that easy. Or Donna can just make her money back by letting Ryan Murphy shoot the next season of American Horror Story in her townhouse with Courtney still in it.

I've been trying to stay away from all things Jerry Sandusky, but I cannot ignore the far-fetched shit dingle of dumb that fell out of one of his lawyer's trash hole while explaining why he showered with boys. This has to be the most ridiculous and gross explanation for something I have ever heard and this is coming from a bitch who has read every single one of White Oprah's delusional statements of defense for LiLo. This shit is just beyond the realms of WTF:

"Some of these kids don't have basic hygiene skills. Teaching a person to shower at the age of 12 or 14 sounds strange to some people, but people who work with troubled youth will tell you there are a lot of juvenile delinquents and people who are dependent who have to be taught basic life skills like how to put soap on their body."

See, Judge, Jerry Sandusky isn't a pedophile monster who should slowly rot into the ball of slime that he is behind a prison cell, he should head The Department of Health and DIAL should hire him as their new spokesperson. Jerry not only taught those kids how to soap themselves up, but he also taught them that if you don't have a sponge on hand, use a dick instead. That Jerry Sandusky, cleansing our nation's youth, one anal rape at a time.

Source: ABC27 via USA Today

Seen here having a slow roll orgasm from being touched by my favorite Kardashihater Daniel Craig at last night's NYC premiere of Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, Rooney Mara is quickly becoming the Vulcan Natalie Portman, because she's getting cast in movie after movie after movie. But before David Fincher plucked Rooney and threw her into his movies, she shot a guest spot on Law & Order: SVU and she tells Allure (via Page Six) that it was torturous for her. I know, Rooney Mara has been through so much. Miss Sophia should lend Rooney her "ALL MY LIFE!" speech, because this is a girl who has struggled! Obviously. Light a patron saint candle for this young famous actress from a family of multimillionaires after you read about the hardships she's suffered through.

"It was so awful. So stupid. Me and my boyfriend — although I [didn't] look old enough to have a boyfriend — went and beat up these fat people, and at the end of the show you find out that I used to be obese and I hate fat people. It’s ridiculous. Who would ever do that? Who would beat someone up because they’re fat? People are obsessed with that show. I don’t get it."

Miss Sophia seriously just rolled her one good eye at Rooney. Rooney just showed us that she's a GOOP-in-training. How nice of her to drop a lump of ungratefulness all over the show that gave her one of her first acting jobs.

If people weren't obsessed with that show, it would've been canceled a long time ago, she never would've been on it and she probably wouldn't be in that Dragon Girl shit. I mean, Rooney's big movie hasn't even come out yet and she's already Megan Fox-ing at the mouth. Rooney, please pull up a chair next to Kristen Stewart in the HO, STOP section of the auditorium.

And here's more of Rooney wearing a Tron negligee to the GWTDT premiere.

The Golden Globe nominations were announced this morning and it was just a clusterfuck of questions marks and puddles of cold crap with added drops of Gosling, Clooney and Brangelooney (sorry, I wanted that mess to rhyme together).

The Help got a bunch of nominations and I don't even know why. The only thing that mess should be nominated for is Achievement In Terrorizing My Ears By Using That Colbie Caillat Song In A Trailer That Played Every 2 Seconds On My TV. I had "Ooooooh, this is how it starts" trapped in my head space for months and hearing it made me want to sniff a sunflower while swinging on a tree swing. Shit is awful. My Week With Marilyn got nominated for Best Musical and ho sings like twice. Brangelina both got nominated, because not nominating them would go against the highest holy law. And George Clooney pretty much got nominated in every single category. The Golden Globes need to tear their tongue away from George's anus for five seconds so they can slap the shit out of themselves. George already has two drawers full of gold-plated butt dildos and he doesn't need another one.

All the nominations are after the jump. The only real good news to pinch my nipples to is that Jessica Lange, Madeline Stowe and Tilda Swinton all got nominations. They shouldn't even bother with handing out the awards. Just get everyone tanked and let Ricky Gervais make fun of them to their faces for three hours straight. Their awards will be waiting for them in the car along with a baseball signed by Derek Jeter. Yes, the winners will all get 7 minutes of herpes heaven with Jeter. JUMP!

Here I was thinking that Ryan Reynolds and Blake NotSoLively would last about as long as a quick fuck on a Toronto subway platform, but she was seen taking his dog Baxter for a walk in NYC the other day by herself. You know shit is seven layers of serious when you let a trick take care of your dog unsupervised. Or maybe Blake's publicist dognapped Baxter for this photo-op. That's a possibility, because Baxter is making a look that's a cross between "Who dis bitch?" and "Is he really making me shit in front of another one of his bland tricks?" That last part reminds me of some shit...

One of my friends had the same dog through three of her sort-of serious relationships and when she moved in with the third dude, her mom seriously said to her, "Don't you think you're going to confuse the dog by shacking up with all these men?" That was a polite way of saying, you a ho. I mean, I'm sure that dog would stare at her while thinking to himself "You disgust me, you slut!" instead of thinking "Give me that bacon." Most dogs don't give a cat shit if you're a huge skank whore or if you're a spinster prude with a vagina that hums out the melody to "Mr. Lonely" in the middle of the night. They will like your ass as long as you feed them, give them attention, don't blame your farts on them and don't make them go out in public wearing the groom suit you make them wear during fake wedding playtime. That being said, my friend's dog totally judged her for being a big skank whore slut.

And I really hope Baxter dropped a wet shit in at least one of Blake's shoes. That's what she gets for using his ass for publicity.

The six six six degree of Kevin Bacon. - jussayin

Runners-up:

When Paula Dean role-plays, the bacon eats her. - Ashton Cruz

Even the Devil himself has been victimized by Sandra Lee. - Emeriesan

After "wave your meat in my face" was seriously misinterpreted, John Travolta realized he needed to be way more specific in his Craigslist ads. - TwatsThat

via Eat Liver

Marilyn Maye, cabaret singer, musical theater actress and the woman Ella Fitzgerald called "the greatest white female singer in the world." Okay, did I know of the greatest white female singer in da woooorld (insert celineisoutraged.jpg here) until a couple of months ago? Nope. But I kept seeing pictures of her "flower kissing the sunshine" face everywhere and took that as a sign. You can hear Marilyn's nightingale voice here if you want, but I'm more impressed with her hair that looks like a flock of fluffy pigeons huddling together in the cold wind and those delicate brows. Those brows make her look like she's always walking into a surprise party or like she's always witnessing a Crying Game moment. Marilyn's brows are permanently set to SHOCKED!! and I can appreciate that.