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While a harem of naked ass South American boy toys bathe Madge in a solid gold gilded tub with red panda blood while hand feeding her canary diamonds and burning hundred pound notes in an onyx cauldron because the scent of flaming money feeds her greedy heart, her older brother Anthony Ciccone (seen above with the deflated Flock of Seagulls hair) is begging for coins on the streets of Traverse City, Michigan. The Michigan Messenger was doing a story about Traverse City's homeless shelter and they interviewed 55-year-old Anthony who told them that his multimillionaire Kabbalah queen of a sister has circumcised him from her life forever!

"My family turned their back on me, basically, when I was having a hard time. You think I haven't answered this kind of question a bazillion times -- why my sister is a multibazillionaire, and I'm homeless on the street? Never say never. This could happen to anybody."

Anthony was working at his dad's winery in Michigan a year ago, but he got fired for reasons unknown.

My soul skips a beat at the chance to throw balls of shit at Madge for being a money-hoarding, greedy evil cunt with silicone cheek implants that cost about as much as a trailer house for her homeless brother, but we don't know what's really going on here. Anthony was fired by his own dad. What kind of crazy fucked up do you have to be to get fired by the man who carried you in his nutsack once?

Either Tony is a crackhead fuck up or he just loves hydrangeas. It's probably the latter.

And here's Madge with puff pastry face at the London premiere of her movie W.E. tonight.

The Amazingly Super Fast Cake Bagger! First of all, there's a place where you can buy cakes by THE BAG and that place is now known as Jessica Simpson's "want to go to there" place. Second of all, if cake bagging was an Olympic sport, then the Olympics would be fucking ridiculous, but homegirl here would still be the Michael Phelps of cake bagging. Third of all, I'm pretty sure she has coke hand (Lindsay Lohan, you've found your calling!). Fourth of all, she could circumcise a ho with a one-second frictiony as fuck handjob! Fifth of all, yes, I said frictiony.

via Buzzfeed

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