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This famous actor and actress couple got married several years ago. Although it was a hastily-arranged secret wedding, you’ve probably seen a few good photos of the event. Well, guess who’s not really married? We mean legally. While their wedding was a religious commitment ceremony and family party, they never got around to the actual marriage license part. Well, at least that should make their “divorce” easier. (Blind Gossip)

"Few good" = A Few Good Men = Demi Moore? "Guess who's" = Guess Who = Ashton Kutcher? But these two don't ever have to worry about getting fake divorced since their love will last FOREVER...or until Twitter crashes and goes down for more than 48 hours.

That certain couple on the big MTV hit reality show has been off and on. Not just because of his cheating though. Nope. It seems that he has also hit his girlfriend. More than once. She just keeps taking him back though. (CDAN)

Two words: ROID. RAGE.

Which married TV star is getting spicy with yet another side dish? She’s always denied rumors of cheating, but that hasn’t stopped her from hooking up recently with a hunky NFL star behind her hubby’s back. This girl just can’t stop playing with fire. (Star Magazine via Blind Gossip)

Paula Deen needs to put a stick of butter between her biscuits and cool down before she overheats! But this is probably Giada?

This almost adult star who got their start on a popular Children’s network (not Disney) claims to be brokenhearted after being dumped by her older costar. She claims the two were involved for three years, even though he was in a relationship with someone else. When the source threatened to expose the relationship because of the celeb’s underage status, the star was adamant nothing illegal happened. (BuzzFoto)

Ryan and Renee from Kids Inc., obviously! .....Or Drake Bell and Miranda Cosgrove?

For some bizarrely strange reason unknown to everybody including me, I've been following Meg Ryan and John Mellencamp's every single move as a dusty new couple, so here they are holding hands while going to the Whitney Museum and a restaurant in NYC today. My therapist would probably say this is my way of holding onto the 90s with both hands since my life was so uncomplicated back then. It's true. The most complicated thing I had to worry about back then was how to get home from a rave after my friend's left me staring at a bunny sticker on the bathroom wall for 4 hours right. Yes, illegal drugs were involved.

Anyway, here's to Meg and John: 2011's GREATEST COUPLE (not really). Well, they're the year's greatest couple unless Goober comes out with a peanut butter and Fluff swirl. But until then, Meg and the miniature Harry Hamlin need to bask in this shit!

America's most gorgeous and glamorous bully victim, Camille Grammer, might not grace Bravo's cameras with her strobe light-bursting moves anymore, because she's a SINGLE MOTHER now and needs to focus on raising the children her bastard husband abandoned!!!!

The Hollywood Reporter broke the news that after taping a reunion so explosive that it made Andy Cohen's lazy eye jump up (but it quickly laid back down), Camille let Bravo executives know that if The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills comes back for a second season, they will have to find a new exquisite orchid in the silicone garden to take her place. Camille wants out. Maybe. Camille's rep told People Magazine that no decision has been made yet, but things have changed for her.

"She has not made any decision yet about whether she’s returning to the show or not. She taped a very explosive reunion episode yesterday, where people are going to see a different side of her than they’ve seen before. Camille’s situation has changed since the show began. She did the show because Kelsey wanted her to do it and now she’s a single mother raising two kids. Her life has changed and she has a lot of new responsibilities. She’s also in the middle of negotiating a divorce settlement, so this is not the time for her to make a decision about the show."

Yeah, so those of you hating haters out there who have called Camille the worst dragon mother in the L.A. area need to swallow your words back up (tastes like extra greasy turkey jerky)! Camille is leaving the spotlight in order to raise her kids as a SINGLE MOTHER.....with the help of four nannies, a chef, a house manager, drivers and the $50 million she's going to get in her divorce settlement. So there! If that isn't maternal dedication, then I don't know what is. A selfless hero to us all!

Kate Gosselin to her son: "Honey, will you move?! You're in the way! No, you're not blocking the sun, silly. You're blocking the camera lens! " - Hollywood Tuna

If the "mystery dude" Blake Lively made out with on NYE wasn't featured on People's Sexiest Men of 2010 list, I'll be so disappointed with her game - Lainey Gossip

Hugh Hefner's diaper is wet, I'm a whore and Lindsay Lohan was drunk in rehab - The Superficial

Nicole Scherzinger (better known as that judge on that show you don't watch) in FHM (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

The apocalypse round-up - TDW

Doesn't Julia Roberts know by now that talent doesn't always win you Oscars (see: Erin Brockovich) - Celebitchy

Because when you think of MANLY, you automatically think of L'Oreal Hydra Energetic Moisturizer for Men - Towleroad

The po' man's Anne Hathaway in Esquire - Popoholic

If Jeffrey Donovan puts heat on your shit, here's some pictures of him - The Berry

Zac Efron drives into Vanessa Hudgen's garage. Don't even act like that's a euphemism - Just Jared

Courtney Love's foolery brings on the first ever Twitter-related lawsuit - ICYDK

Brit Brit is a caring soul for keeping her weave fleas warm - Popsugar

Mila Kunis loves gays - OMG Blog

A trio of tragic wigs - Moe Jackson

Snooki confesses she's knocked up with Oscar the Grouch's baby in 3...2.. - I'm Not Obsessed

This is the second time in a month that I've seen pictures of Tara Reid not looking wasted at all. I see you, end of the world - Hollywood Rag

Love is not having to get on your knees to give your boo a beej - Crunk + Disorderly

I'm going to guess Cojo and Sebastian Bach - Cityrag

Gordon Ramsay gave his face a Kitchen Nightmares makeover - Holy Moly!

(Image via Pacific Coast News)

Don't you just want to hug Star Magazine from the back for finding this beautiful picture of Angelina Jolie looking like half of the two-headed serpent who guards the entrance to the underworld? Halo all crooked and covered with barf splatters and shit. You kind of want to put a tiny sombrero on her head and charge tourists a $1 to take a picture with her. It's a beauty.

Unfortunately, the story that goes with this cover is not. Star is trying to hit all stops on the ESCANDALO Expressway, but their gas pedal got stuck and they crashed into the center divider instead. Basically, their sources say that Brad Pitt wants Angie to go somewhere to relax, because she's always stumbling around like a mess. Jezebel read the article and summed it up:

At the Berlin premiere of The Tourist, Angelina "seemed so wasted and weary." An insider claims "people were whispering… it was like she was on drugs or something. There were moments where she could hardly walk and needed Brad's arm for support." Maybe she was tired from jetting around the world and raising six kids?

Angelina allegedly keeps getting disoriented and needs to sit down, and collapsed at home once. Brad wants her to take a break and go somewhere to relax. We think it sounds like he means a spa, but the mag says Angelina has been drinking lots of wine and taking Ambien to help her sleep, and Brad has to watch her to make sure she doesn't take too many pills and overdose. Sometimes she drinks a whole bottle of wine by herself after the kids go to sleep. Sounds normal! Though Angelina hasn't used heroin in years, the mag brings it up and claims the thought of doing it "lingers in the back of her mind."

First of all, Angie keeps falling, because the only thing she nibbles on during the day is an orphan's whisper she keeps in a jar in her purse. I'm no Joy Bauer, but I'm pretty sure there's no nutritional value in that whisper. Second of all, if I lived with a bunch of loud ass kids I'd drink a bottle of wine every night too. And then I'd use that bottle to smoke crack.

Toni Braxton is tens of millions of dollars in debt and those "Unbreak My Heart" checks aren't getting any bigger, so what's a ho to do? Do ho shit, of course! Toni asked her Twitter followers last night if she should bare her 43-year-old nipples in the pages of Playboy or not. How Toni was able to focus on their responses with her accountant screaming "DO THAT SHIT!" into her ear is beyond me, but she gave it a go anyway. This is how Toni presented it:

New Year, New opportunities. So I have been considering taking up Playboy's offer to feature me on their cover this year. What you think?

I would love to pose with Hugh Hefner though. He's the sexiest guy I know over 30 ;-)

Of course it will be tastefully done :-)

There are NOT talking that kind of spread! No Susie!!!! Just a lil T and A. They have asked me about 3 times before.

If Toni's debt was a food it would be the pumpple cake I thought about making for Christmas. And whatever Playboy is going to pay Toni wouldn't even put a spork full dent into that mess, but a check is a check. So Toni should do it if she wants to as long as she doesn't use the "I'm showing the world that women over 40 are sexy too blah blah blah" crap excuse. And Toni needs to quit it with that Hugh Hefner is sexy shit. I never thought her financial problems were crackhead-related until I read that.

Just because Paula Abdul acts like she has a permanent concussion, doesn't mean you should knock your head against the stage to get on her level. That throbbing unicorn knot can't feel good. On the other hand, if you're going to fall on your head, you might as well do it in the presence of Paula Abdul since she's always got a fentanyl pop or two in her bra.

via Warming Glow

Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman star together in Just Go With It (aka Not Another One Of Those Fucking Aniston Rom-Coms) and to promote that mess, the former interviewed the latter for Harper's Bazaar. Jennifer starts the article with a little introduction:

I remember the first time I met Nicole Kidman. We were at a Golden Globes party in 2005 and—typical Hollywood story—we share an agent. I remember meeting this tall, beautiful woman who was there with her mom and dad. I was completely starstruck, while she was nothing but gracious. Nicole had just seen one of my rom-coms, as they call them, and was instantly kind and complimentary. I loved her immediately.

Close your mouth, Jen! I know Nicole Kidman has the complexion of your favorite Marie Osmond doll that gets prime real estate in your nursery, but break your boner and pull back! And then Jennifer started to ask Nicole questions. Instead of asking Nicole important questions like if she's ever been styled by Suri or if she kept one of Tommy Girl's prostate simulators as a souvenir, Jennifer asked the usual:

JA: I feel awkward getting into interviewer mode, but tell me about your life in Nashville with Keith [Urban] and Sunday Rose. How long have you now lived there?

NK: Five years.

JA: I was just down South in Georgia, and it was heaven to be away from all the irritation of the cameras and all that hubbub. Was moving to Nashville something that both you and Keith wanted to do?

NK: It was perfect timing, because I had nowhere to live. I was living out of suitcases when I met Keith. I suppose in the back of my mind I was waiting to meet somebody. And I wanted it to be that if that person didn't live in New York or Los Angeles, I would be able to move. In the back of my head, I was thinking I may have to put my roots down somewhere. I was going to move to Oregon.

JA: Oregon? It's gorgeous. I understand that absolutely.

NK: Yeah. I love living a ways away. That's what I've worked for in my career, to not have to live in Los Angeles. So it was fortuitous that Keith happened to live in Tennessee. He brought me down to this place called Leipers Fork, just outside of Nashville, very lush and rural. I just went aaah. You know how you dream as a girl; I'm one of those people. I would meet a guy, then I would imagine myself married and with kids within the first hour. [Laughs] But it worked out.

JA: When you two first met, Keith said he saw you walk into the room and you just floated. Yes, I watched him on Oprah! Did you feel it as instantly as Keith felt it?

NK: I remember thinking, Oh, my God, if you ever gave me a man like that, I promise I would be completely devoted for the rest of my life. Something that wild. I remembered praying after I met him that I'd meet somebody, if not him, like him.

And after Jennifer asked Nicole which specific prayer and/or code words were used since she always gets a busy signal when she's asking God to bring her a man, she continued with the question asking:

JA: On that note, I can't wait to see you, whenever that is. Good luck and congratulations on Rabbit Hole.

NK: Thank you, my darling.

JA:You said when you won the Oscar for The Hours in 2003, it was such a lonely time for you.

NK: Yeah. It's strange how life gives you the best and the worst. I was probably at my least happy when I won it. And I was single. It was a strange time....

JA: Do Isabella and Connor come down to Nashville a lot?

NK: No, they don't. They're not crazy about Nashville. They're so grown up now. I mean, they're adults.

JA: You are in such an amazing place now. What do you think you would tell your 20-year-old self?

NK: That you're going to meet the love of your life. My whole thing, my whole thrust in life, was hoping I would.

Okay, Jennifer was doing her best Lois Lane until she got to the very last question. Why is it in almost every damn interview, Barbara Oprah Couric Sawyer Lauer has to ask the "What would you tell your 20-year-old self?" question. That question is the damn worst. I'd tell my 20-year-old self that if in the future somebody asks you THAT QUESTION, tell them to fuck off.

Here's a quick update about this morning's Hot Slut of the Day Ted Williams, the homeless man who won't be homeless for long thanks to his radio perfect voice. Ted not only made his radio debut this morning, but he also appeared live on CBS' Early Show where he showed off a new look. Gone are the long follicles that made him look like he was always riding in the back seat of a convertible speeding down PCH.

Ted could be standing in a windowless room without vents and still look like Kirstie Alley simultaneously queefed and farted his way. Not since Beyonce have I seen someone with that gift. But now it's gone. I understand. The whole "out with the old" shit. Ted's new hair makes him look like a mash-up of Tim Meadows and Obama, and that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Below is Ted's interview with the Early Show this morning. Ted says that he's on his way to NYC this afternoon to see his 92-year-old mom. Warning: this clip will make the warm emotion called "love" hitchhike towards the frozen tundra that is your heart. Don't play if you want to stay cunty.

TDW also has a rundown of all the offers that have come Ted's way since the Internet made him a star a hot second ago. The Cleveland Cavaliers offered him a full-time job and an entire house. The Ohio Credit Union League also gave Ted a $10,000 check in exchange for voice-over work.

You see, the Internet isn't TOTALLY a cesspool that sucks souls and destroys lives. Every now and again it spits out something good.

Mary Ann Mobley, come get your husband already! Gary Collins was the host of my favorite late 1980s TV experience The Home Show, so it pains in the heart to read about how he still hasn't gotten his shit together. In the past 8 years, Gary has been busted 3 times for DUI and now he's adding a fourth mug shot to his collection. But this time, Gary wasn't arrested for letting Jack Daniels be his co-pilot. TMZ says that Gary was put into handcuffs after he walked out on a $59.35 restaurant bill without laying down his Diner's Club. Gary did this shit in Mississippi, where it's a felony to not pay a $25 or more bill.

Gary had himself a meal of steak and cocktails at Jazzeppi's in Biloxi last night. When the bill showed up, Gary simply sashayed out of the restaurant and ignored the screams from the staff to pay his shit. They called the cops, Gary was arrested and now he's sitting in a cell on $5,000 bail.

Gary used to be THE BIGGEST FUCKING STAR IN THE HISTORY OF TELEVISION (served on a plate made from exaggeration) and now he's in jail for spitting on a $60 restaurant bill? How the mighty have...etc..etc... If Gary didn't have the cash, he should've called up his wife! Mary Ann could've pawned off one of her wigs or something.

Welcome to rock bottom, Gary. Hopefully, Mary Ann Mobley does the right thing and makes a rescue ladder out of her wigs and old rhinestone gowns so she can get her husband out of there.