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Which member of the Glee cast was partying over the holidays on Boracay island in the Philippines and managed to mistakenly pull a ladyboy? (Popbitch)

Puck was in the Philippines during the holidays, so he's the obvious guess. But I do like the image of Jane Lynch literally pulling a delicate Filipino flower by the hand across the beach.

Which Real Housewife ( in a city currently airing) enjoys a little wake me up cocaine every morning. (CDAN)

Giggy from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, obviously. He used to do lines off of Cedric's abs.

Although all the women who announced they were pregnant in the past two weeks all have boyfriends or husbands, one of the women is unsure if it is said boyfriend/husband or the guy she was cheating with. (CDAN)

YES! I just knew Maury would eventually make a cameo in this latest Hollywood Babypalooza. And my official guess is Kate Hudson?

This actor has been under a lot of scrutiny about his sexuality. While he has been keeping a very low public profile (with the exception of a magazine cover here or there), he isn’t exactly sitting at home with the wife and kids night after night. In fact, he recently made an appearance at a WeHo gay bar with some male friends. They were swigging down drinks and cracking jokes about a certain organization to which he belongs. No, the organization is not The Hair Club for Men. (Blind Gossip)

Drink that Xenutini like you don't give a fuck, John Travolta!

This award-winning actress has done lots of film and television. Her focus right now, however, is on her weight (which is higher than it was at her career peak). She wants to get back into the spotlight so badly that she is finally circling the dreaded gastric bypass surgery. There’s an interesting twist to this plan. She is talking about having the surgery and recovery filmed for a reality show. Barring any surprises, this should happen within the next year. (Blind Gossip)

Like this is anybody but Kirstie Alley? Can they also put a band around her lips? No, I don't mean that. Then how is she going to whistle for her own new bikini body when she debuts it on Oprah...again?

This B list East Coast rapper might sing about the ladies, surround himself with the ladies and brag about his conquests, but the truth is – he’s a virgin. He’s not gay, but has no interest in having actual sex with women, he’s just interested in the perception that he is. (BuzzFoto)

Drake is from Toronto and that counts as East Coast, right?

Just start pouring bottles of Andre directly into my mouth hole, because it's a sad day. After two weeks of doctors trying to do everything they can to save Zsa Zsa Gabor's ultra graceful leg, they sadly had to amputate most it starting from just above the knee. Zsa Zsa checked into UCLA Medical Center around New Year's Day after her personal doctor found the bitchiest blood clot of all blood clots in leg. Doctors put her on a shit load of antibiotics, but it was too late.

The good news is that Zsa Zsa did fine during the surgery and her doctors are optimistic that she'll heal without any major problems. Since Zsa Zsa is 93-years-old, she will stay in the hospital for a little while longer so doctors can monitor her recovery closely.

I'm sure that Zsa Zsa's place on the chandelier of life will twinkle brightly long after ours goes dim. Zsa Zsa will live forever! I'm also sure that Zsa Zsa will look better than ever in her solid gold prosthetic leg with built-in marabou slipper. Dahlink!

via TMZ

And even though this has nothing to do with Taylor Swift, I'm sure she's still crying on top of pink lined notebook paper while writing Innocent: The Sequel. Expect it to debut at #1 the same week Kanye's next single comes out. Damn.

via The Twatter House Of Gay Fish

Kim Kardashian Tweeted this picture of herself to remind all of us that a silica gel packet is more natural than she is - Popoholic

The always gorgeous Carole Bayer Sager and Nicole Kidman at a Botox convention together - Lainey Gossip

I take it back. Hollywood doesn't have shit on Frayser High School - NYC Barstool Sports

Unlike Spider-Man, Captain America's bulge came to play - Towleroad

Aubrey O'Day accessorizes her bulging breasts with bulging eyes - Hollywood Tuna

Speaking of tits 'o plenty (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Your wet dreams of seeing Carrie Fisher in her Princess Leia bikini again may come true - The Superficial

If she thinks that hurts, wait until her mother takes her in for a bikini wax - TDW

A Tammy Lynn Michaels blog haiku from hell in 3..2... - Celebitchy

Arm porn: Jakey Gyllenhaal edition - Popsugar

Donald Trump wants you to think he has morals - ICYDK

Pizzapits!? Dude is going to be so disappointed when Kirstie Alley shows up - OMG Blog

Someone needs to hold a Flowbee against Brit Brit's weave - Just Jared

The new house that Facebook bought - Moe Jackson

If you can wipe your own ass, you're too old to be wearing a panda/wolf head scarf thing - Go Fug Yourself

Florence Welch is drunk - Cityrag

Joanna Krupa planned this - Hollywood Rag

At this point, I should just start making posts about everyone who isn't going to flood the streets of Hollywood with amniotic fluid in a few months. I swear, if Jennifer Aniston shows up with a bump full of baby, we should all quit this bitch and move to Hollywood to work as wet nurses and midgays. That's where the real money will be at.

So, Alicia Silverstone and her husband of 5 years Christopher Jarecki (the dude dressed like Johnny Weir's Kleenex above) announced to People that they are expecting their first vegan baby together later this year.

The first part of the year is turning out to be a blizzard of knocked up hos, which means that the end of 2011 will bring us a typhoon of BABY PICTURES!!!! Can't they just all do a group cover picture of People Magazine in December? Do we really need a million covers of a celebrity touching cheeks with her baby while wearing all white? While I get a petition going, you can go through these pictures of Cher Horowitz making morning sickness face in L.A. yesterday.

Ryan Reynolds has never held up his hand and admitted that he's healing his broken heart by doing ab crunches while Sandra Bullock rides on top (Ryan Reynolds does ab crunches in his sleep, so of course he does it during sex times), but apparently they are dating. And apparently, ScarJo isn't happy about it. One of ScarJo's friends tells The National Enquirer (aka The Grain of Salt Times) that she called Sandra a "man-hungry tramp" among other things.

ScarJo still has feelings for Ryan and thinks it was wrong of Sandra to get on that shit before his divorce is final. The source also added these fightin' words: "She still has intense feelings for Ryan and feels Sandra isn't respecting that at all. Sandra may be known as 'America's Sweetheart,' but she's NO sweetheart to Scarlett."

Whoever at The National Enquirer wrote this mess has obviously been watching reruns of Laverne & Shirley and/or Three's Company, because who says "man-eating tramp" anymore? That's some shit Shirley shouted at Rhonda. That's olden times talk. Not only that, but Sandra is as square as Prostitution Whore's tits, so I don't think she could be a man-eating tramp if she tried. Maybe what the source really meant is that Sandra lives a double life as "America's sweetheart" and a cannibal hobo. That, I might believe.

You know, I could HAHAHAHAHAHA at how every member of our next generation is going to accidentally fall to their doom from not paying attention while texting, but this could've been my ass back in the day. Except I would've been too busy trying to figure out the stupid pager code my stupid friend sent me. And I would've fallen into a fountain with no water in it since the cheap mall by my house always kept theirs empty. The only thing sadder than a girl texting her way to embarrassment is a waterless mall fountain.

via Buzzfeed

Anna Wintour needs to adjust the tint on her Chanel Blue Blockers, because why did she approve this cover of Vogue? Yeah, I know Kristen Stewart always looks like she's sitting on a cold stainless steel table and waiting for a simultaneous pap smear and rectal exam, but couldn't they have tried to erase at least one layer of constipated uncomfortableness from her face? Couldn't they have used the Dulcolax Photoshop tool on her?

It's as if before Mario Testino took the picture he shouted at Kristen, "Say NUTTYMADAM!" And the baby crib skirt she's got on is not helping.

via Hollywood Life

Yesterday in NYC, Camille Grammer came candleface to skinface with the 29-year-old woman her husband dumped her ass for and their meeting didn't end with Allison DuBois appearing in a cloud of e-cigarette smoke to cast a curse on the future Mrs. Kelsey Grammer. There were technical difficulties with the smoke, so Allison will do that later.

Camille and Kelsey met for the first time in months to discuss their ridiculous wreck of a divorce and he brought along her replacement Kayte Walsh. Camille tells Popeater that she behaved like the refined noblewoman she is and refrained from dragging Kayte down to the crypt with the other trick hos who tried to fuck with her money. Camille explains, "I met Kayte for the first time. It was a little uncomfortable at first, but then I met her and I shook her hand. And I looked into her eyes, and I thought, 'She's OK, she's nice."

"Looked into her eyes" = HYPNOTIZED HER SOUL! The seed has been planted. Kelsey will come home one day and find that Kayte has dipped herself in a tub of liquefied Barbies, stuffed her chest with basketball balls blessed by Nick and plasticized her entire face. Camille 2.0 BORN! Kelsey can run and hide his peen in another woman's snatch, but he can't escape Camille ever!

Camille didn't talk to Popeater about Kelsey telling everyone that he wants to marry Naomi Lesswattage next month. Camille also didn't talk about how her lawyers have filed papers in court to stop Kelsey's quickie marriage. But Camille did say, "It's really important for me and Kelsey to be friends and amicable for our children's sake. Because you know, we have to co-parent and that's the correct way to do it. I keep reaching out to him, but I think it's going to take a little time from his part. Don't know why, you'd think it'd be the other way around."

Oh, Camille. Kelsey's assistant already calls one of the four nannies once a week to see how the kids are doing. What more do you want?!!!

Amessy Wino's triumphant comeback to the stage in Brazil reached a fever pitch the other night when she hypnotized the audience with her sweet seductive moves that could lure the last drops of whiskey out of its bottle. Actually, maybe that's not dancing. Maybe Wino's tight ass yellow dress cut off the circulation to most of her limbs so she's trying to shake some blood into them.

My favorite part is at the 1:10 mark when Wino auditions for the title role in Crack Swan by busting into a drunken pirouette that nearly causes her to crash on top of her titty sacks. It's official: WINO IS BACK!

(Thanks to Thadeu and Stephen)