Justin Bieber got lost while trying to find the ball pit at Chuck E. Cheese and ended up in the middle of a Hooters at the West Edmonton Mall in Edmonton, AB Canada yesterday. It's Biebs and boobs!
The real story is that the Biebs band ate at Hooters earlier and promised the waitresses they'd bring The Lesbeaver back for a photo-op. They came through and that's how this magical picture came to be.
I'm not sure if the Biebs just climbed one step up the puberty ladder or if he's seriously resisting the urge to go wild on that breast feeding buffet.
Becks' celebrated L.A. Galaxy's win against DC United yesterday by pulling his Jersey off and giving the night air a taste of his nipples (tastes like NADS, light agave nectar and MAC Lip Glass). Most footballers might celebrate a victory by howling and/or screeching, but Becks should never EVER do that. Becks' scream probably sounds like Kristin Chenoweth on helium getting a Brazilian wax, so yeah his victory dance should only consist of showing those nipples.
If Becks and his dead end happy trail (WHY DOES IT END?!!!) do nothing for you, I've also posted some pictures of Landon Donovan. And if he does nothing for your, well then the dude in thumbnail #2 is sort of bringing the hotness.
Before we get started, let me just say that we should all want to look like the beauty all the way to left when we enter the Matlock age of our lives.
So, while Tommy Girl's Scientohole was uniting with a Marvin the Martian butt plug down in his dungeon, his Top Gun co-star was engaging in a much more touching and important ceremony. Kelly McGillis and her partner of 10 years Melanie Leis were joined in a civil union in Collingswood, NJ on Wednesday afternoon.
Kelly and Melanie first met over 10 years ago at a restaurant Kelly co-owned with her second husband at the time. Melanie was an employee there. Kelly and Melanie instantly knew they were meant for each other when "Take My Breath Away" played on the restaurant's boombox, the white sheer curtains gently blew in the breeze and everything suddenly turned to blue. Or something like that.
Since it's a special time for these two, I will refrain from giving a sermon about the second coming of Bert currently playing above Melanie's eyes. I will put my tweezers away and save it for another day.
It's a good thing Shiloh is a chosen one who was birthed on a cloud made from the coos of a thousand baby angels over Mount Olympus..... Because if Shiloh wasn't, then anti-terrorism officers would've tackled her to the ground, dragged her to jail and put her on trial for trying to attack LAX with a wooden sword yesterday.
Which leads me to the question, kids nowadays play with swords made out of wood?! When Christmas times rolls around, my little cousins always tell me to not bother getting them anything that doesn't plug in or doesn't require a secret code to unlock every damn achievement. But thanks to Shiloh, those brats will now get twigs and branches under their trees this year. If it's good enough for Baby Brad!
The Mental Health Department's answer to Bonnie & Clyde is still spreading the illegal crazy as though it's their full-time job (actually, it probably is). Randy Quaid, who is giving me "FML face", and his wife Evi, who is giving me 100% potent CRAZY, posed for these mug shots after they were arrested in Santa Barbara, CA yesterday for allegedly squatting inside of a house they used to own.
AP reports that when officers arrived, Randy and Evi put on their lying faces and claimed they purchased the house in the 90s and have owned it ever since. The rightful owner of the house then showed the officers paperwork proving that he bought the house in 2007 from a dude who brought it from the Quaids. That's when the police popped the balloons, scratched the record and turned on the fluorescent, because the Quaids' freeloading party had come to an end. They were arrested for felony residential burglary and unlawful entry. Since nothing makes the crazy in Evi's eye twinkle like a full rap sheet, she was also charged with resisting arrest.
A contractor also alleges that $5,000 worth of damages to the house were caused by the Quaids. Cousin Eddie and his Bride of Crazystein are still sitting in jail today. Their bail has been set at $50,000 each.
Last September, Randy and Evi were busted for using a bunk credit card to pay a $10,000 bill at a fancy resort in Montecito, CA. They were put on three years probation.
You know Randy's brother Dennis isn't even trying to answer the phone today. This is some "pull the cord out" shit. But what I really want to know is, why isn't Casey Affleck filming all of this bottom of the barrel insanity? Joaquin Phoenix needs to learn how it's really done.
With that said, FREE COUSIN EDDIE (But transfer Evi to the nearest mental ward)!!!!!
No, these are not stills from Khloe Kardashian's sex tape so no need to reach for the bottle of Visine's holy water eyewash. This is Mimmi, the yoga bear at Finland's Ahtari Zoo who every morning stretches her legs and airs out her hairy honey pot in front of a creepy ass door that looks like the gateway to Hostel. They could at least give homegirlsome ambiance that'll help her reach chakras.
Paul Harvey, a yoga teacher from Bristol, told The Guardian that he recognized a few of Mimmi's poses, "The first is spread legs, holding big toes or feet – and she's doing a pretty good job with claws. These are not beginners' postures. Yogi bear is definitely an advanced practitioner." Or maybe she's just farting at all the nosy bitches staring at her parts.
Paul also made a sad when he said that Mimmi might be doing yoga to keep from mauling the faces off the zookeepers, "She looks like quite a lonely bear. Perhaps she's doing yoga to keep herself sane."
So Mimmi's caretakers better be thankful that she's stretching her legs instead of stretching her claws on their froats. Get her a honey-scented mat or secretly release her into the wild so she can teach bear yoga to the masses.
I was going to put NSFW censor bars on Mimmi's parts, but it's not like all of us haven't seen a spread-eagled bear before. Don't act like you weren't at the leather bar last night!
(Images via Meta Penca/BNPS)
Jeremy Irons (62)
Danielle Panabaker (23)
Lydia Hearst (26)
Kevin Zegers (26)
Tegan and Sara Quin (30)
Carter Oosterhouse (34)
Alison Sweeney (34)
Jimmy Fallon (36)
Victoria Silvstedt (36)
Sanaa Lathan (39)
Soledad Obrien (44)
Kim Richards (46)
Trisha Yearwood (46)
Jarvis Cocker (47)
Cheri Oteri (48)
Lita Ford (52)
Rex Smith (55)
Joan Lunden (60)
Sally Potter (61)
Freda Payne (65)
Adam West (82)
Rosemary Harris (83)
James Lipton (84)