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And I'm not referring to Peaches Geldof and Eli Roth. There's a good reason for why Eli Roth looks like a deer caught in a hairy no-no. The full picture from Cobrasnake (via ONTD) is after the jump. It's not safe for work or if you're eating something peanut butter-related. Cover your eyes, hold on to your partner's hand and JUMP!

Just when we thought this couple was growing apart, we find out that they’re engaged. This actor has not only popped the question to his gorgeous girlfriend… she has accepted, and the wedding plans are well underway! The paparazzi had better be prepared to catch a plane, though, because this bigger-than-big wedding is going to happen overseas this summer. Even though the groom is definitely the bigger star here, his bride is very photogenic. We expect some gorgeous wedding photos. (Blind Gossip)

The permanent bachelor George Clooney and Elisabetta Canalis? If this blind item is about George, then take cover because Sarah Larson (if she still exists) is going to be out for blood.

This now B list, but back when the movie was filmed a C list actress, is telling friends she was sexually assaulted by an assistant director on the set of her most recent completed movie. She has also said she doesn't want to report it or do anything about it because right now her career is going so well and doesn't want to do anything to rock the boat or take the attention away from what she is accomplishing professionally. (CDAN)

I don't have a damn clue who this is, but whoever it is needs to pull a JLo in Enough and whoop a trick.

The movie actor has terrible insomnia. It is affecting all sorts of aspects of his life both personal and professional. His performances have recently been criticized and not many people know it is because of his lack of sleep. Most importantly, he’s moved out of his wife’s bedroom originally because he couldn’t sleep while she was sleeping. Now the wife is feeling totally rejected and has taken the kids and moved out. This doesn’t help his anxiety over sleep. Not Marky Mark. (BuzzFoto)

Billy Goat Brad (just pretend he's married to St. Angie)? The proof is in his face.

Courtney Love, the trout/mermaid hybrid who got caught in a gay fisherman's net, is taking a Magic Eraser to the name everyone knows her as. Courtney Love no longer wants to be called Courtney Love.

In an interview with NME (via BBC), Courtney says, "Courtney Love is dead. We've all decided we don't like her any more. We love her when she goes onstage, but I don't need her in the rest of my life. The name Courtney Love is a way to oppress me."

Courtney Love is now going by the name Courtney Michelle. Her birth name is Courtney Michelle Harrison.

Was she snorting light bulb dust when she came up with this mess? Why Courtney Michelle? Why not Courtney Fierce? Or as most of us call her That Crazy? Or even Madame Jr.?

The name Courtney Michelle is some terrible crap. It sounds like a bratty child star turned cross-country stripper turned born again Christian turned perky middle-aged receptionist who tries to sell stupid Mary Kay crap to everyone in the office. You roll your eyes as soon as you hear the clickity clack clack of her Sam & Libby pumps. Courtney Michelle has kids named after every season for fuck's sake!

Hollywood is currently trying to make a Wizard of Oz prequel happen, and apparently Robert Downey Jr. is in talks to play the title role. File this under: "Hold me and tell me how to feel about this, because I just don't know...."

The Los Angeles Times reports that screenwriter Mitchell Kapner has finished a screenplay based on several L. Frank Baum. The script follows a young Wizard as he comes to Oz from Kansas to do wizard shit. Or something. Apparently, the Wizard in the prequel is darker and more complex, which is why producers think Robert Downey Jr. is perfect for the role. Disney is also throwing around Sam Mendes' name as a possible director.

You know, I'm okay with this as long as the new Wizard of Oz syncs up perfectly with a Pink Floyd album. I'll also be extra okay with this if Snooki and Gary Coleman play members of the Lollipop Guild. They need the work.

Heather Locklear was arrested Saturday morning (the above mug shot is from her DUI arrest in 2008) for murdering a no-parking sign with her car and then driving off without telling anyone. TMZ says that Heather's Tiger Woods moment happened at around 4 in the morning near her home in Ventura, CA. A neighbor who heard the crash reported that mess a few hours later.

After a short investigation, the cops confirmed that Heather's 2005 BMW was the murder weapon and damage to her car proved this. They arrested Heather for hitting and running. Since the charge is a misdemeanor, they didn't need to haul her ass down to the station (I love saying that shit). They just cited and released her.

Heather is currently on probation after she pleaded no contest to DUI and reckless driving charges back in 2008.

Now, let's not jump to conclusions and scream that Heather must have been driving under the influence of everything in her medicine cabinet. There has to be a reasonable explanation for this. Maybe that bitchy ass no-parking sign gave Heather all sorts of shade. It probably threatened to fuck her man, poison her make-up and steal her company. It's the Lexi Sterling of parking signs! I would've run over that cunt too!

Chestica Simpson is taking styling advice from sausages - Lainey Gossip

Susan Sarandon's daughter in a two piece. Why not? - Egotastic!

Cacazilla attacks Tokyo. Where's Mothra when you need him? - The Superficial

Rare pictures of Demi Moore not Twittering - Hollywood Tuna

In the mood for a pair of sesame seed buns? Here's a clip of Baker from Real Chance of Love 2 getting down with herself (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

FYI: The nipple hair topping costs extra - Towleroad

Brangelina to marry...bler...blah...barf...burp - Celebitchy

Tori Spelling's talk show better be in the late afternoon, because nobody wants to wake up to her face in the morning - OMG Blog

Jennifer Aniston to ruin a movie from behind the camera - Just Jared

Andy Roddick without his top on - Popsugar

Purdy Zac Efron blowing bubbles out of his hole - Celebslam

Even in cargo pants, Morgan Fairchild is still the hottest piece on the block - Hollywood Rag

This is not being nice to bunnies - I'm Not Obsessed

Heidi Klum got the Peter Pan Dude cut - ICYDK

Scott Baio ruins everything - Cityrag

Is Ronnie Wood's new girlfriend wearing a Lil' Kim mask? - Holy Moly!

Here's some boozed and bonged (probably) dude at Coachella demonstrating for all of us how Kiefer Sutherland puts on his flip flops every afternoon. Flip flops are confusing and uncooperative.

I won't be surprised if those evil doers at CROCS use this video to further this dork-sided and demonic cause. Whores for propaganda, bitches.

via Brooklyn Vegan (Thanks Betty)