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I guess Kim Kardassian thinks she knows how to handle a black pussy too....but Peta does not agree. Peta got on Kim's double down ass after she Tweeted this picture from a photo shoot in Australia. Peta said this in a statement:

“Kim Kardashian isn’t the only person who mistakenly thinks that because a mother cat picks up her kittens by the scruff of the neck that a supportive hand under the rump isn’t needed."

Kim responded on her blog with this shit:

"I have been getting negative comments regarding the way I was holding the kitty, but rest assured, the owner and vet were on set and showed me how to pick him up. The cat was not harmed in any way and is perfectly fine! I love animals and would never do anything to harm any animals."

Never harm animals? Kim, tell that to the poor horse that was scalped for your weave.

Frankly, the only statement I care to read is one from that cat. That cat needs to explain to us why it didn't take a scratch at Kim's face when it had a clear shot! Way to disappoint an entire people!

Last Summer, I prayed that the evil and satanic Vibram toe shoes would be banished into the inner depths of Hell where they belong. Well, it looks like they refuse to die a painful death, because they found a home on Channing Tatum's feet today.

You know, if Channing wants to wear those nasty things in the privacy of his own home to have protected toe sex with his wife, then that's his kinky life. Toe fuck away. But he needs to keep the fuggery behind closed doors where it belongs. The public does not need to be exposed to that horrific shit! The streets are already filled with enough scary creatures. If I was innocently walking down the street with my eyes staring down at the sidewalk and came across Channing's feet, I'd probably shank him with my keys thinking he's some kind of mutant lizard. You don't play with shit like that.

This A list male reality star on a very, very hit network show is worried that an ex is going to sell pictures of our star in some intimate poses with another guy. Not dirty, but kissing and shirtless. (CDAN)

The possibilities are endless. Aaaaand my guesses are: Jeff Probst, Ryan Gaycrest, Derek Hough, Bret Michaels, Donald Trump (I wish), Phil Keoghan or Simon Cowell?

A certain actress clearly wasn’t feeling too harmonious at a recent music festival. She seemed to adopt dual personalities with the swarms of paparazzi who were there. One minute she was smiling and posing for the cameras; the next, she was holding her hand to the side of her face to thwart photographs. We do note, however, that her receptivity to attention did seem to increase directly with her intake of alcohol and swag. Perhaps she was in a better mood because she traded off some of the swag for some white powder. (Blind Gossip)

One of White Oprah's children, right?

Which couple like nothing better than keeping things in the family? Quite literally. They regularly indulge in sordid threesomes with hubby’s female cousin. (3am)

Sean Connery and his sexy minx of a wife?! No, Sean would never share.

Both Larry King and his wife of nearly 13 years Shawn Southwick filed for divorce last week after getting into a fight over the allegations that he's fucking her sister. Well, People says there's a good chance they won't quit each other after all. Larry's lawyer had this to say:

"There's a 50-50 chance this divorce is not happening. His focus is on the best interest of his children. It's not clear to me which way he's going to turn on this issue."

After all the dust from Larry's orifices settled, they probably decided that deep down they still love each other. Larry knows that he will never find another lady who won't choke on her own vomit at the sight of him eating a whole raw fish like The Penguin in Batman.

Shawn realizes that after humping on Larry's body for all these years, she's officially a necrophiliac. And why should she go trolling the morgues for dead bodies to fornicate with when she's got one at home? They belong together!

UPDATE: Larry's lawyer says their divorce is postponed for two weeks while they work some shit out. Zombie love forever!

A Vivica Fox wig: For when your natural hairline refuses to play along - Crunk + Disorderly

More from Christina Hendricks' Esquire shoot. Is she trying to make a juicy melon joke? - Egotastic!

I can practically see AnnaLynne McCord's unremarkable anus from here - The Superficial

Why does Megan Fox look like my Eurasian dude friend Frances after suffering through a bad case of diarrhea? - Lainey Gossip

David Archuleta says he's not gay. I think David should lose all his baby teeth before he starts talking about what kind of genitals he likes to lick on - Towleroad

Extraterrestrial tranny nightmare - Hollywood Tuna

If a movie has "Boogie" in the title, there's a good chance Heather Graham's tits are in it (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Sandra Bullock's sister clears shit up - Celebitchy

Olivia Wilde's roof top eyebrows could use a little work - Popoholic

A Michael Jackson impersonator is taking his job way too seriously - OMG Blog

A hairy bonsai tree grows out of Kris Allen's crotch area - Just Jared

George Clooney would look better in Elisabetta Canalis' bikini bottom than she does - Popsugar

Bruno might be a father again - ICYDK

What in majorette hell is Nicole Kidman wearing? - I'm Not Obsessed

CHARO!!!!!!!! - Hollywood Rag

Proof that Zac Efron is prettier than Hayden Panatroll (and other facts) - Cityrag

Shayne Lamas, the winner of The Bachelor 12 and The Empress of Lucite's arch rival, got married in Las Vegas last night to a dude she barely met the night before. TMZ says that Shayne kicked the already dead horse known as marriage with Nik Richie, the owner of TheDirty.com.

Nik sort of confirmed this mess by Tweeting: "Married".

The only way I would approve of this disaster is if Shayne wore the stunning craft project ensemble (made out of discarded costumes from a community theater's production of Rocky Horror Picture Show) in the picture above. But Shayne didn't wear that. She wore a sheet from a nearby Motel 6 instead. Click here to see the picture of Shayne and her soon-to-be ex-husband on their wedding night. You might want to eat a packet of Sobrietol before click over, because that picture gave me an instant hangover.

Jersey Shore's The Situation was working his shift at some gelato place in Miami yesterday when he dropped everything to gaze into the eyes (and other things) of a Latin kewpie angel who is too sessy for his shorts. This is what it looks like when true love first blooms. Not since Romeo & Juliet has there ever been such a beautiful and precious balcony scene.

Apparently Lindsay Lohan is dodging calls from creditors harder than she dodges a bottle of shampoo. That's if you believe Radar anyway. Their sources say that the Nicolas Cage of cokeys has racked up $600,000 in credit card debt. One credit card company has already dropped her ass, and the others are thisclose to doing the same. Suze Orman, come get this bitch.

The source says that Brokehan is spitting out money faster than she's making it. She used to make a small fortune from club appearances, but now she can only command $5,000 to $10,000 a party. The source went on to say, "One credit card company is going to discuss a payment plan for Lindsay. But if she doesn't have the income and can't make her payments, they are prepared to sue her."

This yet another example of White Oprah's failure as a parent. Didn't White Oprah teach Lindsay about the sport of floating payments? Lindsay just has to take one of those handy blank checks your credit company gives you and use it to make a payment to a different credit card. You keep doing that until: a) you get thrown in prison for fraud (free food and snatch) or b) Obama decides to bail out troubled child stars.

Here's Lindsay looking better than ever at Coachella yesterday. And I'm only saying she looks better than ever, because she resembles a 1980s hitchhiker who is handjobbing her way through the country to get to a Def Leppard concert in Florida.

I would most likely watch a reality show starring one of Snooki's turds, but even I would never EVER torture my eyes by watching a shit show featuring Bombshell McGee and Jamie Jungers. My TV has been through enough and antibiotics no longer work against the stank diseases I expose it to.

TMZ reports that Vanilla Gorilla's own Eva Braun and a member of Tiger Woods' harem might host a reality show about cheating celebrities. Bobby Goldstein, the creator of Cheaters, is currently shopping around a reality show that will try to catch cheating celebrities in the act. And the world is one step closer to being swallowed by Hades.

This Bobby Goldstein trick needs more people who will tell him that the likes of Bombshell and Jamie can never replicate the genius of Joey Greco. Nobody can pretend to get stabbed like Joey can. Wait. Now that I think about it, maybe this reality show isn't such a bad idea after all. Watching Bombshell getting chased by an angry celebwhore with a shank wouldn't be the worst thing in the world....

This is seriously a screen shot from someone's wet dream. Here's Alexander Skarsgard getting his pecs massaged by a man in uniform at Coachella on Saturday. Who cares if the officer looks kind of like George Lopez from the back. I'll take what I can get.

UsWeekly says that Askars had to be restrained by Officer Lolo after he brought the cuntness on a pap who kept taking pictures of him with Kate Bosworth. Askars made a fist and was ready to get down until the officer cooled the flame in his ass by giving his chichis a squeeze. Unfortunately, Askars was not thrown into a jail cell with a bunch of sweaty, shirtless desert grifters. That part of your wet dream is yet to be realized.

Here's more of Askars at Coachella on Saturday including some pictures of a chick trying to grab at his Swedish meatballs and Kate trying to look sexy while riding on his shoulders during a show. Kate ain't shit! Unless Askars also has a mouth on the back of his neck, she's sitting the wrong way. Dumb bitch!