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That devious Pedobear somehow snuck onto a billboard announcing Pope Eggs Benedict's visit to Malta next week! Hmm. I wonder why? Maybe he just dropped in to see how things are going.

The Times of Malta incorrectly identified Pedobear's wrong ass as a "panda." Pedobear shouldn't get to comfortable up there, because they plan to kick him out any day now. But I'm sure he'll be back.... That bitch ain't right.

via TDW

While Heidi Montag was lying under the direct sunlight at Aria's pool area in Las Vegas yesterday, the plastic on her body slowly melted and seeped through the towel bonding her to the chair. A group of engineers from Mattel had to chisel her off the chair and apply another layer of ABS plastic on her. The painters from Maaco then had to spray her down with a fresh coat of paint in shade "Ass Dildo." And then she was as good as new again!

Seriously, I've seen Real Dolls that look more human this! But you know, Heidi's silicone globes in size "Elephant Head" don't offend me as much as those tragic flesh brows over her eyes! Bitch's eyebrows are probably the same shade as Spencer Pratt's pubic landing strip. If you want to fill your body with enough man-made materials to keep Tupperware in business for decades, have at it! But eyebrows should be sacred!

Razor, the really hot punk rock bitch from Maniac Mansion!

Maniac Mansion was this game from the late 80s (of course) where you had to rescue some blonde trick from evil Dr. Fred's house of crazies. You could choose which characters you wanted to play as, and my ass always chose Razor for obvious reasons. I mean, if you're going to conduct a rescue mission you should always do it in tight black leather. I played that shit so much that I wore the floppy disk out. It stopped playing and my mother refused to buy me a new one at Egghead (remember that shit?).

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