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Which reality TV father likes to get dolled up as a woman — dress, lipstick, high heels and all — when the cameras are off. Even though his wife thinks her hubby’s cross-dressing is ‘cute,’ don’t expect to see his antics on their hit show anytime soon. (Star Magazine via Blind Gossip)

ALL OF THEM! And by all of them I mean: Jim Bob Duggar, Dean of Tori & Dean, Bruce Jenner, Hank Baskett, Todd Palin, Juicy Delicious from Real Housewives of NJ, and on and on and on... We're going to need a RuPaul's Drag Race: Reality Dads Edition

Which A list star in the eyes of children everywhere just finished wrapping up a sex tape that will be ‘accidentally released’ in the future? (BuzzFoto)

Big Bird (top), Tinky Winky (bottom) and DJ Lance Rock (tag team top)?

Or maybe Katy Perry's chichis gave Elmo the fever that he can't scratch enough?

This very famous couple has been together more than ten years. Unfortunately, their relationship has gotten so rocky over the past couple of years that they should be divorced by now. However, the wife is very intent on holding the relationship together for at least another year. It’s not because she’s concerned about the money or keeping the family intact. It’s because she thinks that her latest project was a great showcase for her talent, and she believes that a divorce would adversely affect her chances of finally winning an Oscar. (Blind Gossip)

All signs point to Annette Bening and Warren Beatty? But I refuse to believe this. It's supposed to end with Warren waiting for her ass at the Empire State Building or by the hand of an assassin. Or something along those lines.

Remember that video of Russian kids laughing into the face of DEATH by climbing onto some tower like Darwin ain't shit? Well, here's more Russian kids giving a giant F U to the Grim Reaper by DIY bungee jumping off of some building. Crazy fucking bitches! Either Russian kids are born with a special enzyme that kills the emotion called FEAR or they're cutting their PCP with imported Four Lokos.

via TDW

Sea World wants Tommy Lee to know that they don't use a cow vagina to fap the cum out of Tilikum's whale dick. They make Til I Kum cum by asking the dolphins to recreate Tommy and Pamela's sex tape for him. No, but Sea World did say that Tommy Lee must get his information from fucked up killer whale fanfic porn, because that's not how they do things. Sea World slapped Tommy Lee in the face with a whale peen by releasing this response to TMZ:

"If Mr. Lee’s information on Tilikum and SeaWorld’s artificial insemination program for killer whales comes from PETA we’re not surprised that it’s wrong. PETA is as careless with facts as they are extreme in their views.

The process of collecting semen for [artificial insemination] doesn’t differ in any meaningful way from the techniques employed in managing livestock or other species for zoological display.

Contrary to the charges made by PETA and repeated in Lee’s letter, our trainers do not now nor have they ever entered the water with Tilikum for this purpose. The safety of SeaWorld staff and the welfare of our animals are our highest priorities.

Whatever his views on SeaWorld, Mr. Lee would be wise to spend more time checking his facts."

Yeah, so Tommy Lee needs to educate his shit before he goes around calling someone sick, twisted and disgusting! They don't use a damn lady whale chocha! They're not that perverted! They use waterproof lube, ribbed rubber gloves, their hands and a copy of Free Willy. Fap you very much!

Leaked personal pictures of Xtina show her wearing more clothes than she did in her "Not Myself Tonight" video (Actually, some of that shit is from her NMT video) - The Superficial

Ryan Gosling and The Blonde are still eating meals together - Lainey Gossip

Ryan Gosling in wet chonies. That is all. - Towleroad

Lindsay Lohan is making her pussy tired - Hollywood Tuna

Shakira's clit hugging pants aren't tight enough (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Leave it to Ashton Kutcher to take an "It's not that serious" topic and make it TOO serious - Celebitchy

Suri Cruise might be Michelle Williams' stylist - Popoholic

Tom Hardy and Shia LaBeouf get wet - Just Jared

But how will Lee's Art Shop survive?!!! - Popsugar

The original Katy Brand is not amused by this - Celebslam

Naked French pop star alert (NSFW) - OMG Blog

Hearing the phrase "LA MIGRA" once made Salma Hayek hide in car trunks and shit - ICYDK

By the time her 21st birthday rolls around, the hardest panda in the bamboo forest is going to lose all feeling in her nips - Moe Jackson

Alex Van Halen knows how to bone, apparently - I'm Not Obsessed

Gravity wins - Cityrag

Christie Brinkley's earth-shattering and mind-bogglingly progressive diet plan - Hollywood Rag

What kind of blended fetuses is Beverly D'Angelo eating to stay looking hot? - SOW

And the Oscar goes to... - Holy Moly!

Oprah isn't even gay for that koala (By the way, I see how you're trying to hug onto Oprah's tete for a free 2012 Beetle, koala. I SEE YOU!). Oprah isn't gay at all. Oprah once again denied that one of her favorite things is scissoring her best friend forever and ever Gayle King. That's what Oprah told Barbara Walters during an upcoming special and shit got dramatic.

In her Elmer Fudd voice, Barbara asked Oprah about her friendship with Gayle and that's when the tears filled the ducts, the lip quivered like an angel's wing and the raw emotion came pouring out. You could tell Oprah was thinking about Celie and Nettie's reunion scene from The Color Purple with her and Gayle in the roles. Oprah was on the verge of a full weep as she called Gayle her best friend and the mother she never had. And across town, Gayle King felt the sentiments seeping out of Oprah's being and she dropped everything to run to her soulmate... Oprah did the same and the two met on a beach where they embraced as the seagulls above serenaded them with a rendition of "Wind Beneath My Wings." No, that didn't happen because Oprah changed the mood by barking at one of her minions to get a tissue! Here's the preview clip:

Who doesn't weep when thinking about their best friends? I know my friends cry out loud when they talk about knowing me. Yes, it's for the exact opposite reason as Oprah's and they usually follow their cry by screaming "Why won't he stop calling?!", but at least I make them cry!

And I love how Oprah says "lezzzzzz-be-yun."

Here's Oprah, Gayle and that hot piece of Aussie beef Curtis Stone in Australia today.

James Franco is so good at flirting and seducing a kiss out of his reflection in the mirror that he makes it look like he does it all the time (he does it all the time). James Franco will never meet a mirror he won't want to make out with. James picked himself up for The New York Times' collection of artsy videos called "Fourteen Actors Acting, which features...well...fourteen actors acting.

Tilda Swinton demonstrates what most of us do first thing in the morning when we look up at the alarm clock projection on the ceiling! Javier Bardem demonstrates what Kirstie Alley does after she finds out that Chili's is all out of Texas Cheese Fries. And here's one of my favorites, Natalie Portman demonstrating for us how Kim Zolciak gets ready to retire to her tanning pod for the night.

via Vulture

The National Enquirer doesn't only publish stories that make polygraph machines scribble out "Are you serious?". They sometimes get things right, which is why this story about Aretha Franklin's health is making me punch and hug at the air at the same time. When Queen Aretha underwent surgery for a mysterious condition, many (including yours truly) figured she just got her stomach pinched and her magnificent chichis shrunk down to the size of a baby elephant.

But The National Enquirer (via PopCrunch) claims they know the real reason and it's serious. They are saying that Aretha has been diagnosed with incurable pancreatic cancer and given a 5-10% of survival. There aren't enough Os available for me to properly express the NOOOOOO! that is swirling around my heart.

Aretha's rep has yet to confirm or deny this, so there's some hope that The National Enquirer is just saying this to make sure their name is on the list at the VIP entrance in HELL. Yes, they want to feel all special and shit as they wave to us in the back of the line.

UPDATE: One of Aretha's family members told MyFox Detroit that she does have cancer. The relative said that Aretha is doing okay, but everything is still really concerned. The family member didn't say what type of cancer Aretha was diagnosed with. No word from Aretha's rep yet.

(Thanks Jess)

Seen here posing on the set of a tampon commercial (or in one of JLo's dressing rooms), Celine Dion debuts her bright shiny new twin angels to the woooooorld! And guess what? They look like babies! Babies that I'm sure Pepaw Rene is throwing subtle undercover shade at since they have more hair on their heads than he does.

Celine's 2-month-old BABY!!! boys have so much pose to give that Hello! Canada gave them a 20 page spread. Have you been itching to see Celine's twins various nap positions (SPOILER ALERT: They have 4)? Hello will give you that! Are you curious to see her twins' "Should I fart or should I piss first?" facial expressions? Hello will give you that too! I mean, they have 20 damn pages to cover!

In between posing with her twins on a fluffy white cloud imported from heaven, Celine talked to the magazine and explained why she named her twins Nelson and Eddy. From HuffPo:

Dion, who with husband Rene Angelil has a nine-year old son named named Rene-Charles, spent years trying to get pregnant again, going through IVF treatments and suffering a miscarriage. So the couple wanted to give the twins meaningful names.

"We met with Nelson Mandela and spent some time with him at his house when we started Celine's world tour," Rene said. "Eddy is an homage to Eddy Marnay," he added, referring to the songwriter that wrote Dion's first five albums and died a few years ago.

That's a nice tribute. But you know Celine's ass really named them after Edy's coconut bars and Nelson Muntz. Who wouldn't?

No, Kendra is not declaring on the cover of OK! Magazine that she had a miscarriage. Kendra is also not admitting to OK! Magazine that she misplaced her baby while changing his diaper and talking on the phone at the same time (Note to Kendra: Multitasking is for professionals). When you turn the cover of OK! Magazine, the first two pages read in giant letters: SYKE!!!!! The "tragic news" is that Kendra has sent her baby Hank to live with her husband in Minnesota for a while and now she's lonely in her great big California mansion.

Fucking with your emotions: OK! knows how to do it.

Is really that slow of a gossip week that Kendra and OK! had to try to resuscitate your blackened heart with this sob story that isn't even a sob story. I mean, this is the opposite of tragic. Baby Hank is no longer exposed to his mother's "Woody Woodpecker getting ass fucked by the Energizer Bunny" laugh. That is HAPPY NEWS! Wasn't there something else OK! could've put on their cover instead? Like the woman busting her ass on local TV? That's newsworthy! Or that Yoko Ono might secretly be a World of Warcraft Monster? That's newsworthy too! Eh, I guess it could've been worse. They could've put a Kardashian on the cover.

Since the Louisiana swamp flower Brit Brit was dressed way too fancy for the Dollar Palace, she strolled into Walmart yesterday to buy Christmas gifts (CHEAP CHEETO BITCH!) and unknowingly pose for an exclusive People of Walmart photo shoot. And afterward, Brit Brit took her bodyguard to lunch at my favorite Michelin star gourmet fine restaurant RED ROBIN! RED ROBIN (reread that in a creepy Danny from The Shining voice).

Where else can you eat a delicious teriyaki burger under a lamp that looks like it belongs in a drag queen madam's bordello. AND THE STRAWBERRY FRECKLED LEMONADE (Or period piss as my nasty ass always calls it). You know Brit Brit spends most of her time at Red Robin trying to suck strawberry chunks through her straw (not a euphemism).