While watching this I thought to myself, "Damn, for being a tribute to her mother Angelina put her own ass in this video a lot." But then I realized the woman in question IS her mother. They almost look like twinsies to me. Or maybe my eyes are just foggy, which means I need a DRANK. Yeah, that's it.
Everything I know about sororities I learned from watching Confessions of a Sorority Girl starring Jamie Luner, so I really have no idea what one wears to rush. Well, thanks to Fashionista I now know that satin, titty cleavage, fuck me pumps and chapped lips are a BIG NO. Fun haters.
Fashionista posted a 6-page long dress code from Cornell University's Pi Phi Sorority for rush. If the leader of the Pi Phi sees a single hair on your upper lip or a plastic bracelet on your wrist, she will hit you in the mouth with her Tory Burch flat. Bitch is serious about her accessories.
Below is the crazy ass dress code with equally crazy comments. Just for the record, Dlisted also has a dress code. Whatever is on the NO list below is on Dlisted's FUCK YES list.
The Real Broke Housewives of Atlanta's Sheree has her own line of tuck panties. Lisa Wu has that Closet Freak mess. And now the masses can buy their own piece of Kim Zolciak. And by "masses," I mean nobody.
Kim Zolciak set up a booth at the internet's biggest sweep meet, eBay, and is selling some of her hand-me-down gowns. I guess that Tardy for the Party/Big Poppa money dried up.
Prices start at $1,000 and go all the way up to $6,500. So for the bottom bitch price of $65,000 you can own a stretched out dress that smells like a dead lung, burnt plastic, wig glue, various brands of bleach, boxed wine and Sheree's b-hole.
In case you're wondering what size the dresses come in, here's how Kim describes it: "size 8 USA fits like a size 4." Genius. Mimi is going to use that one from now one.
Click here to visit Kim's Emporium of Broken Dreams.
The Church of Brangie still hasn't released a black dove into the sky signaling the official end of their religion, but the Daily Mail is still standing by the claim that Billy Goat Brad is now single. And they have more proof! According to them, Brad bought a $1.2 million 2-bedroom bachelor pad in the Hollywood Hills that comes complete with a cave! From one jagged orifice to another!
The source explained it all, "The house oozes character. Brad has had his eye on it for some time but he decided now was the right time to buy because he wanted a place to call his own. He needs somewhere quiet that doesn't have memories of Angie and where he can be alone and think about what he does next."
Even if they haven't broken up yet, Billy Goat Brad probably bought the cave as a safe house for when he does send the world into chaos by announcing the end of Brangelina. When that day does arrive, every crazed Brangaloonie will throw themselves from the mountain tops. And Brad does not want to go out like that. Come to think of it, I don't think any of us want the last thing we see to be a crazed mouth foamer in an adult-sized "Adopt Me Brangelina" onesie. We should all get a cave.
The Three Wolf Moon T-Shirt may have lost the coveted (not really) Hot Slut of the Year title, but has gone on to do bigger things! The State of New Hampshire must be stuffing their bong with some new shit, because they have named the Three Wolf Moon as the official shirt of NH economic development. Again, will the state officials of New Hampshire please blow smoke this way, because I need to inhale what they're inhaling. Actually, I think I already am (i.e. Three Wolf Moon as Hot Slut of the Year runner-up).
TWM T-Shirt was born to The Mountain Company of Keene, New Hampshire. The dude in the picture above, who heads the Division of Economic Development, thinks that the Three Wolf Moon T-shirt will woo millions of dollars into the state's wallet. Dude told WMUR9, "The Mountain's Three Wolf Moon is a true New Hampshire success story. What started off as a tongue-in-cheek take on a cool T-shirt has resulted in worldwide acclaim for a very creative and growing Granite State business."
I don't think dude actually read the Amazon reviews, because it doesn't sound like he fully understands the power of the Three Wolf Moon. It's not going make New Hampshire's Paypal account burst at the seams. But it will lure thousands of nekkid women to their state border. That being said, this is still magical news.
Today, the Three Wolf Moon is head of New Hampshire's Economic Development. Tomorrow, the Three Wolf Moon will be the head of the WOOOOOOOORLD.
*Image taken down by request!*
The world has its second known PREGNANT DUDE (FYI: The one on the left is the pregnant one....I think) - Towleroad
Is this one of the lost dream sequences from Precious? (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
Orlando Bloom would look hotter in Miranda Kerr's two piece - Hollywood Tuna
Stepford Katie's long ass scarf could double as an escape rope. Just a thought - Popsugar
AnnLynne McCord's nipples for Haiti - Egotastic!
Finally, a worthy Vogue covergirl - Lainey Gossip
Brangie will not grace the Oscars with their presence - Just Jared
Heidi Montag's plastic surgery tips - Cityrag
Stumbling with the Pill Poppers! - I'm Not Obsessed
Amber Rose looking like an erect gold dick - Hollywood Rag
Jon Gosselin is still all sorts of gross - Celebitchy
Tommy Girl is so butch - Holy Moly!
The third season of True Blood will be filled with Swedish balls - Socialite Life
Jane Lynch is getting married! And it's fitting that this news from the Carpetbagger Blog - ICYDCK
Rest in peace, Pernell Roberts - SOW
On the Price is Right yesterday, a lady hit the floor faster than Gay Al at the White Party after she learned she could possibly win a brand new Dodge.
At least that's what they tell me. However, I'm guessing being in the presence of a scorching hot memaw gave the lady the vapors. LILLY LILLY LILLY usually has that effect on people.
(Thanks Andrea & Jana)
Sophie Monk, an Australian singer/actress/model-type, says that her hongray vagina has a higher Google ranking than she does. Sounds about right.
According to Showbiz Spy, Sophie queefed:
“I can’t believe it. Another camel-toe! Everyone is going to think I have ginormous ***** because who gets more than one photo of camel-toe? I’ve got a small *****. I’m here trying so hard to work and all I get recognized for is my camel-toe. It’s more famous than me!”
This bitch's camel toe needs to drink a giant trough of STFU! Her camel toe ain't shit! In a camel toe derby, Sophie's camel toe wouldn't even make it out the damn gate! CoCo's camel toe would stomp all over Sophie's camel toe. In fact, CoCo's camel toe eats Sophie's camel toe for breakfast.
And for those of you who need to clean yourself up in the bathroom after reading the last sentence, order Sophie Monk a Cuchini before you do that. Bitch's camel toe needs to bow out of this battle. CoCo's got this.
John Travolta slipped on his waterproof lacefront, jumped into his private plane and flew to Haiti to drop off a bunch of relief supplies. Johnny's rep confirmed to CNN that he personally flew the plane himself. I'm going to straighten up my side-eye, because John taking supplies to Haiti is a good thing. John is doing more than most. But then I read this part....
"In addition to relief supplies, Travolta is bringing along his wife Kelly Preston, several doctors and Church of Scientology ministers."
Let's just hope that these Scientology ministers are only there to help unload the plane, and not there to E-meter the Haitians for Thetans.
Tommy Girl lives for a reason to put on his custom-made flight attendant unitard, but he didn't go to Haiti in case there's gay people there.
A few weeks ago, Tila Malt Liquor announced that she was knocked up with her brother and his wife's fetus. A quick second later, Tila took it all back and said she was "trying" to get pregnant but wasn't yet. Well, it looks like Tila 40oz is pregnant with another WOLF.
Tila MD-2o crawled up to her booster seat, hit her CAPS-LOCK key and pounded out this message on her blog last night:
THE BIG NEWS EVERYONE: TILA TEQUILA IS OFFICALLY PREGNANT, 100% CONFIRMED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! & THIS BABY WAS NO "ACCIDENT" EITHER!!!!!!!!
IT IS A TRULY TOUCHING STORY THAT I WILL TELL YOU ONE DAY......BUT I GOT PREGNANT FOR CASEY! BECAUSE SHE WATED TO START A FAMILY AND SINCE SHE ALREADY HAD AN ADOPTED DAUGHTER, SHE WANTED ME TO BECOME THE PREGNANT ONE!!!!!!!!!! BUT NOW THAT SHE IS GONE.... A NEW LIFE IS BORN AND I KNOW HER SPIRITS ARE IN MY BEAUTIFUL MIRACLE BABY GROWING INSIDE OF ME RIGHT NOW! I AM SO HAPPY! MY LIFE IS ABOUT TO CHANGE BIGTIME! I AM GOING TO BE A MOTHER AND I CANNOT WAIT! I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS MOMENT FOR SUCH A LONG TIME! AND NOW, MY BABY JAYDEN, HAS FINALLY COME BACK TO MOMMY!
NEVER FEAR THO, THAT DOES NOT MEAN I STILL WON'T HAVE A LOUD MOUTH BUSTIN A CAP ON BITCHES WHO TALK SHIT ABOUT ME! LMAO....I WILL ALWAYS BE THE SAME GIRL....THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS NOW....I AM GOING TO HAVE A BABY AND WILL BE A FANTASTIC MOTHER! AS FAR AS TILA TEQUILA, OH DON'T WORRY, SHE WILL STILL BE AROUND TO MAKE YOU LAUGH AND DO CRAZY THINGS...BUT WOW I CANNOT BELIEVE I JUST TOLD THE WORLD MY SECRET!!!!!!!! TILA TEQUILA IS PREGNANT! I KNOW A LOT OF PEOPLE WANT TO ASK A LOT OF QUESTIONS BUT LETS TAKE IT SLOW HERE. I DONT WANT TO GET OVERWHELMED NOR EXPLOIT MY CHILD AND WHO THE FATHERS CHILD IS. FOR NOW, I AM PREGNANT AND THAT IS ALL YOU NEED TO KNOW!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK YOU GOD! YOU TOOK AWAY THE LOVE OF MY LIFE, BUT GAVE ME SOMETHING EVEN BETTER, A NEW LIFE THAT I BROUGHT INTO THIS WORLD!!! THANK YOU!
Kanye West is down at the courts right now filing a copyright infringement lawsuit against Tila. And he's also trying to get a restraining order on behalf of her CAPS LOCK key. CAPS LOCK ABUSE!
TMZ is hearing that Tila has ultrasound scans to prove that she's really pregnant this time. Tila has put the scans on the auction block and will sell them to the highest bidder.
Fuck the ultrasound scans! Let's gaze into the crystal ball to see footage from the actual birth of Tila's miracle baby: