JLo wanted to be extra sparkly for her New Year's Eve performance in NYC last night, so she slipped on an Edward Cullen sparklesuit. Unfortunately, this display of sadness was anything but sparkly. That shit made her nalgas look like two partially deflated whoopee cushions, and her crotch was so depressed that it couldn't even muster up an appetite. If you're going to wear a catsuit at least make sure your camel toe is at the top of its game. Tis a fucking pity.
And when it comes to the "Jesus on a cross" pose, Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs wins every single time. JLo tried to out-pose him, but lost miserably. Thanks for playing.
Click here for the NSFWish version of the Buffalo Bill portrait. Warning: It will give you a fever.
Last year on New Year's Eve, Kathy Griffin made Mah Boo Anderson Cooper burst into an orgasm of awkward internal giggles when she dropped a line about dicks from Mr. Show. Kathy knew she had to do something this year to keep her name on YouTube's most viewed list. This year Kathy went with a classic: THE FUCK BOMB!
Kathy launched the fuck bomb while Mah Boo talked about 6-year-old Falcon "Balloon Boy" Heene. Kathy seems to think that Falcon sounds a lot like "fuckin." Hey, when it comes to the fuck word being dropped on national TV, I'll take what I can get even if it doesn't make any sense. Kathy is working for the greater cause. And she's also working to make sure Mah Boo's ass lips stay twinkly (yes, they twinkle). Speaking of, here's a clip of Kathy and Mah Boo talking dirty and exchanging gay innuendos. Mah Boo cooing, "It's not hard to take me down" is about to become my new wake-up call.
Lastly, some bitch didn't appreciate Kathy's f bombs and filthy talk taking the spotlight away from Mah Boo.
Just for recording keeping purposes, my Twitter name is not "Bill." Okay, yes it is.
And next year, I hope Kathy finally sends CNN's censors into cardiac arrest by doing something involving strap-ons and the cunt word. Let's go big for 2011, Kathy!
Menudo!!! Since some of you might be cursing the sweet nectar (don't take it out that innocent angel) this morning, here's a little menudo to soothe your drunk ills (aka wine flu). Now, menudo never rocked my hangover gently, but many hos (aka my abuelita and all my relatives) swear by it. They make it an essential part of their hangover regimen (which includes a few Coronas and several hours of Telemundo). If you don't know what's in menduo, I won't tell you since that piece of information definitely won't help your hangover.
And if that kind of menudo won't get you out of bed today, then this glittery picture of the other Menudo will:
Actually, it might make you want to reach for the bottle again, but if you can't beat 'em then just booze some more! Happy International Hangover Day!
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