Archives
Why Won't You Let Patrick Wolf Be Great?
British glitter bomb Patrick Wolf was playing a show in Germany when the mighty hands who control the PA system decided to quit his ass, because they wanted to go the hell home or something. Patrick wasn't about to be silenced, so he flipped the switch quickly and had himself a tantrum worthy of any 5-year-old girl who lost her dolly. Patrick started throwing mics, stands, spit and his dignity at the evil bitch who was trying to cut his tongue off. Don't fuck with a bitch in a onesie!
Eh. I throw the same kind of tantrum when my server goes down. Kirsty Alley also pulls this shit when the Sizzler cuts her off. And Jon Gosselin has been known to lose it like this when he can't find his favorite Ed Hardy thong. Etc.. etc....
And don't make fun of Patrick's throwing skills! I'm sure he's usually the catcher and not the pitcher.
Rosie Chomps On Hasselcrack
And here we have the very rare dykeasaurus known as Rosie O'Donnell displaying her coochie chompin' face for your viewing pleasure. I'm sure Rosie was also making this same face in between barfing all over Elisabeth Hasselcrack's good name (sar.cas.am.) at one of her shows a couple of weeks ago.
According to Fox411, Rosie shat on Elisabeth during her set on the "Girls' Night Out Tour." A source (whose name sounds like Hellisabeth Assholecrack) said, "Rosie started out by asking the audience, 'What was that show I was on? Then, instead of saying, 'The View,' she called it 'The Screw You.' She continued by calling Elisabeth Hasselbeck, 'Elizabeth Half-a-brain.' Then she jumped to another topic."
A few beats later, Rosie was back to yapping about The View, "Rosie said when she first met Elisabeth, she thought she would love her, because they're both Christians. Then she stopped and said, 'But then she turned on me.' Then Rosie called her a 'twat.' O'Donnell then moved on to a different subject, saying she really didn't want to start a new feud, or restart an old one."
Okay, okay, Rosie should probably calm down by blowing a bong or slowly removing the double-sided dildo out of her ass, but Elisabeth is a TWAT. Rosie is just spilling the facts. That's all. It's like me saying that picture of Rosie can be used as a successful tool for teaching abstinence in schools. FACTS!
This Is Not The Look
What in the Michelin Man tranny Hell is Glamberace wearing?! Apparently, this is from the photo shoot for his new album cover. Truth is somebody needs to shoot the bitch who told him this was a good idea. Just a reminder, wearing an outfit made from the saggy foreskin off of Lady CaCa's hermie dick is never a good idea. Never.
VIA WOW Report
Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess
Although it pains me to admit it I guess this aging television actress is B list. It is more because of her show than any real acting talent on her part. I mean it is a hit television show. Anyway, our actress has child/ren and because of that our actress found herself at a recent concert by this tweener star. Of course they went backstage. The actress and the tweener started flirting and the next thing you know they were having sex together in her hotel room. Luckily the next morning when the child/ren came into the room, the couple wasn't actually having sex, but still, very awkward. The tweener can't stop telling everyone about that night. And no it wasn't any of the Jonas Brothers. They are all pure. (CDAN)
Teri Snatcher and Miley Cyrus? You know it's possible. Or Snatcher and Jesse McCartney?
Which recently single celeb wasn’t so faithful to her last boyfriend? She’d been sleeping with a big-name hip-hop artist for the last four months of her relationship. (Gatecrasher)
Kim Kardassian and ALL OF THEM!?
Unless you are using a private trainer, most people in California belong to one of just a couple of gym chains. Since the gyms primarily service locals, it’s not unusual at all to look around the room and see some famous faces. Nobody really makes a fuss about it. Except when this certain male star of an action franchise chooses to do bench press and do squats. Is he garnering attention for the massive weights he uses, or his perfect form? Nah. It’s just that he wears a pair of slightly baggy, slighty high cut shorts… with no jock underneath. Dude, it’s too much information. We don’t want to watch your junk while wee work out. Please consider tucking your twigs and berries into some sort of athletic support device in the future. (Blind Gossip)
Who's this we bullshit? The only reason to go to the gym is to see some rogue peen. My guess is Vin Diesel?
Afternoon Crumbs
Dick on a bike - Lainey Gossip
Megan Fox works the streets looking like a low-level morning-shift call girl - Hollywood Tuna
One of the devil's helpers switches sides - Popeater
Shia LaDouche slips a shoe. Yes, a nip would've been better, but we'll take a shoe slip for now - Just Jared
Heidi Montag even fails at being nekkid - Egotastic!
MiserAlba even plays miserable characters - Popsugar
Reno 911 is dead - Towleroad
Noel Fielding has never looked hotter - Holy Moly!
Why is Angela Chase wearing shrimp shish kabob as a belt? - Cityrag
Herp for your ears - Hollywood Rag
Chris Brown's shitty apology song (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
Beyonce talks about her ass (No, not Basement Baby) - ICYDK
Finally, Jessica Simpson is doing something smart by sexing on Tony Romo's enemies - Celebitchy
Does a "New Moon" trailer come out every damn hour? - Socialite Life
Please, Steven Tyler, cancel those CROCS on your feet too - I'm Not Obsessed
Speaking Of Peens....
We've seen many pairs of chichis and chochas around these parts that it's high-time for some peen. A bunch of you hos sent me this picture from Mediatakeout that is supposedly Mr. Wanda Wandaaaa himself with his wang out. Because it came from Mediatakeout, I'd take it with a grain of ass dust.
If it isn't Jamie, you can still enjoy some dick action on a Friday afternoon. And tell the OCD freak in you to breathe slowly while looking at that messy ass bathroom. (NSFW) Click here for the goods.
Open Post: Hosted By A Small Penis
Some dude in Toronto has been partaking in a little golden shower action by himself in the lobby of an apartment building for years and the tenants are pissed (easy pun). They decided to take some action and plastered pictures of the Pee Pee Vandalizer and his tiny accomplice all over the neighborhood. They want his peen head (which looks like the size of a baby mushroom cap).
Just by doing a little simple math, I think I figured out who the mystery pisser is:
Toronto + A Tiny Wang + A Big Asshole = DIMITRI THE LOVER!
VIA OMG BLOG
Now You Too Can Look Like A Weepy Alien Robot Wife
Line deliverer, marathon cheater, Judy Garland hater, cyborg beard, Posh wannabe and now fashion designer. WWD says that Stepford Katie's fancy fashion line with her stylist Jeanne Yang will debut this fall at Maxfield in Los Angeles. Katie should have debuted it at the Scientology gift shop, because those are the only whores who are crazy enough to buy this mess. Besides, Tommy Girl's Scientolohole will squirt on them if they don't buy every piece.
The line is called Holmes & Yang (that sounds like the whackest rap duo of all-time) and will feature clothes for children and femaliens.
Katie needs to be programmed to learn that just because she's married to a flamer, doesn't mean she automatically knows fashion. It would make more sense if she co-designed a line of strap-ons with Jada Pinkett.
SCRAGS BITCHES in Ibiza
I guess those OMGNOWTFCANTBE rumors that homewrecker hero Sienna Miller was freaking on a dude who doesn't have a wife at home proved to be true. Sienna stuffed her wrecking crotch into a virginal white bikini to frolic on a yacht in Ibiza with her new piece, DJ Slinky Wizard. You know, the sluts of the world need to bow down to Sienna, because her skills of slutiness knows no bounds.
Bitch is a better slut than me, because I don't know if I could suck face with a dude wearing a baby pink Yankees visor who goes by the name DJ Slinky Wizard. Let me clarify that: I don't know if I could suck face with a dude like that outside of a rave and not under the influence of Ecstasy. But that's not stopping Sienna. Sienna really makes me want to be a better slut. Get on that raver's glowdick, Sienna!
So This Is How Brooke Hogan Is Trying To Sell More Albums
Brooke Hogan's album sold 3,500 copies (Yeah, that many) or some shit in its first week, so shouldn't she be dusting off her shelves for all the Grammys she's going to receive or perfecting her tuck game for her massive stadium world tour? You would think. But instead, Brooke Hogan is out giving interviews to Sirius where she's busting on everyone from Beyonce to Cassie to camels (aka her mom):
On Beyonce: "She needs to go and make some babies and chill."
On Cassie's nekkid internet pictures: "Don't show it if it's not right. It's all stretched out."
The funny thing is that Beyonce probably doesn't even know what a Brooke Hogan is. Bitch probably thinks it's a sandwich at Quizno's (lukewarm roast beef served on a stale flat bun with a heaping dollop of bullshit sauce on top). As for Cassie, Brooke is just jealous. Brooke can tuck her dick in between her thighs and pretend she has a vag all she wants, but we all know the truth. And Cassie's "stretched out" vagina is still a zillion times prettier than Brooke's "sperm-count killing" face.
The majority of bitches on Twitter seem to agree. I just spent the last 30-minutes taking notes on the bitchery against Brooke happening on Twitter. Here's just a taste:
arckaye @brookehogan ♥ I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you.
seanblendy @brookehogan Is it possible for your balls to drop lower than your album did?!
Brodi_Avalon @BrookeHogan . Remember, you can't spell " Brooke Hogan " without " Broke Ho"
VIA ONTD

8 min 31 sec ago
14 min 6 sec ago
14 min 24 sec ago
15 min ago
16 min 45 sec ago
20 min 51 sec ago
30 min 1 sec ago
36 min 40 sec ago
39 min 43 sec ago
44 min 5 sec ago