CoCo uploaded these stunning pictures to her Twatter of her at some event in Maryland this past weekend. CoCo most likely wore this sophisticated ensemble to high tea or a ladies luncheon with the First Lady. I mean, where else would you wear a crotch-smothering, titty choking, denim bell bottom catsuit that lets everyone know you aren't wearing panties?
I think our world leaders need to get together and vote to make this the official uniform for Planet Earth.
19-year-old Joe Jonas and his 22-year-old girlfriend Camilla Belle are no longer rubbing against each other's eyebrows or plucking loose hairs together, because they have broken up. Camilla's rep confirmed the tragic news to People: "Yes, it's true. Joe and Camilla have broken up. There is no third party involved and they care deeply about each other and will remain friends."
Um, I think the third party involved was Camilla's vagina, because it had the grouchies due to Joe refusing to tickle it. He would rather spend his nights trying out new hair products. Wait, is Joe the gay one? I always get confused. Will the gay Jonas Brother please just wear a name tag that says: "Hello, My Name is The Gay Jonas Brother"? It will make things a lot easier.
Seriously, though, I think there was a very important reason for Joe and Camilla's break-up. If they didn't end things, Joe would've never gotten misty-eyed during his concert last night and this video would not exist (WARNING: This may cause you to stick sharp foreign objects in your ear holes):
And just for record keeping purposes, this is my eyebrows' favorite couple of all-time and forever:
Swimmer Ricky Berens unintentionally wore Gay Al Reynolds' favorite glory hole outfit while competing at the FINA World Championships in Rome - Towleroad
Dear Alex Skarsgard, please stay away from all scissors and clippers - Lainey Gossip
Ali Larter's bare nalgas are just hanging out on the sidewalk. No, they really are - Egotastic!
Our Lady of Cheetos gets a Frapp delivery from Sam Merlotte - Popsugar
Avril Lavigne is a couple of steps closer to starring in a Girls Gone Wild video (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
Michael Phelps looking seriously sexy in some Chico's swim panties - Just Jared
Jakey gets his weave, chest mop and nipples wet in new Prince of Persia stills - Just Jared
Lisa Rinna's stomach isn't looking like something that fell out of Jabba The Hutt's ass. Progress! - Hollywood Rag
My chair is now full of glitter, because I just read about the fairy tale wedding of this century! The legendary Peter Pan Dude finally got married to Princess Dorothy after announcing his engagement over a year ago! If you have no idea who this is, then you need more internet in your life! Educate yourself by spending at least 10-minutes on his site's fashion page. Marie Osmond's dolls wish they looked that precious!
Peter Pan (government name: Randy Constan) married biological female Princess Dorothy at the Tampa Bay Renaissance Festival this past March surrounded by middle-aged ravers, grown men in tights and fairies. The magical ceremony was officiated by King Henry VIII and the two recited lyrics from a Led Zeppelin song as their vows. Instead of exchanging rings, they pinky swore. Because according to Peter Pan, a pinky swear "after all, is unconditionally forever, and something not done unless one really really really means it!"
This sounds just like my backyard wedding to my G.I. Joe action figure when I was 8 (okay, it was last summer), but way better! I mean, I recited the lyrics to a Samantha Fox song instead.
A million sparkly congratulations to Peter Pan Dude and his beard...I mean...BRIDE! BRIDE! That's what I meant. It was a slip of the finger.
May the rest of their days continue to be filled with bowl cuts, mesh fairy wings and lots of glitter! And may Peter Pan Dude continue to document it on his website, because I live for that shit.
And do your soul a favor, visit the couple's wedding page. It's the only thing you need to see today. Cancel everything.
A teaser trailer for TRON (working title: NERD PORN) was shown at Comic-Con over the weekend and I can only imagine how many keyboards were destroyed by geek jizz during the viewing of this. Mother's basements were rocking hard all weekend.
You know, after watching this, I thought to myself that this is the longest Daft Punk video ever. And it really is, because they are doing the music for this!
As much as I love this trailer because it probably took the cherry of thousands of middle-aged nerds, it still is lacking a very important individual: TRON GUY!
This shit doesn't come out until next year, so hopefully everyone involved in this movie will fix this issue and add him STAT. This needs TRON GUY!
VIA Best Week Ever
Unfortunately, that title is misleading. This isn't a post about Stepford Katie breaking free from Tommy Girl. Not this time. Try again later.
Radar says that Stepford Katie escaped from a real flame! The weepy robot is in Australia shooting that movie about evil garden gnomes (not a documentary) when a car she was filming in caught on fire! Katie was filming a scene inside of the car when its battery exploded. There was smoke and fumes everywhere. Katie got away in time before the heat short-circuited her hard drive.
A crew came in to get the fire out and filming resumed. You know, the easiest way to put out the fire would've been to ask Katie to recreate the dance tribute to Judy Garland she did on So You Think You Can Dance. That fire would've put itself out.
When Tony Romo dumps a ho, he really really dumps a ho. UsWeekly says that when Tony sent Jessica crying into Papa Joe's open arms (wink from Papa to Tony), he immediately told the security at his gated community in Dallas not to let her in no matter what! Tony issued a red alert! Apparently, this sign is at the entrance:
"RED ALERT!!! TONY ROMO HAS MADE SOME CHANGES TO HIS LIST OF PEOPLE ALLOWED IN....JESSICA IS NO LONGER ON THE LIST AND NOT APPROVED FOR ACCESS."
Jessica got moded (since I'm taking us back to sixth grade)! Seriously, Tony is such an asshole. Red alert? What is Jessica going to do? Sing him a love song a capella outside of his window to get him back? Lick his refrigerator and pantry clean while he's gone? Marry him while he's sleeping (takes notes, Aniston)? Okay, maybe he has a point. No, he doesn't.
You know, this reminds of some crazy bitch I used to work with who told the really hot cholita receptionist not to let her boyfriend in, because he pissed her off that morning. So what did the cholita receptionist do when the boyfriend showed up? She flipped her perfectly feathered burgundy hair and said, "She's in the break room. Go ahead."
I really hope Tony's security guards are just like that hot cholita receptionist.
When even Iggy Pop is dry heaving, it's time to stick an Ensure Drip into your arms - Daily Mail
Newsweek asks a very important question, but they could've gotten the answer just by looking at her face - Celebitchy
Yeh, I'm sure the "ladies" don't mind Gerard Butler's voluptuous fopa - ICYDK
Sienna Miller has some competition in the category of "British bull dozing vaginas" - Holy Moly!
There are nekkid pictures of James Spader out there - SOW
Why is Kelly Clarkson singing into an empty french fry cone in her new video? - I'm Not Obsessed
Brangelina go to McDonald's and order "The Aniston Break-Up Special" (4 chocolate milkshakes, 2 caramel sundaes and their entire stock of Oreo McFlurries) - Socialite Life