SANTO DIOS! Were the bitches at Vogue España sniffing a little "Blohan Special" while they put this cover together and proclaimed her as the nueva Marilyn Monroe?! More like NEVAH Marilyn. Zing?
You can't just throw a kitchen blonde wig on and go skipping around singing that you're the new Marilyn. Trust me, I learned the hard way a few Halloweens back when some mean ass tranny threw a Long Island Iced Tea at me for doing just that. Someone needs to throw a fucking Long Island Iced Tea at this trick! Bitches need to stop trying to make "HoHan as Marilyn Monroe" happen. Let's not do Marilyn like that.
HoHan looks more like Vadge after getting stretched ala Gumby and run through the Photoshop grinder a few times.
Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler are working on a movie together, so the rumors that they are going around in a romantic were bound to happen. But Gerard is not happy about it. In fact, all the rumors are more annoying than 120 "I LUVZ u PlZ luvz me" text messages from Aniston in a 20-minute period. That's really annoying.
Gerry tells People, "That is just annoying. People say I'm always dating so and so, and sometimes it's three people in one day. I'm trying to make movies, work hard and do my best. Then this kind of thing happens and people start to associate me more with that. It gets ridiculous. She (Aniston) is one classy lady. Everyday I go to work with her I'm always surprised about how cool, easy and down to earth and real she is."
I'm with Gerry. How dare the tabloids queef out that Gerry is boning three ladies in one day when they know very well he's doing at least a dozen. Gerry has a reputation to uphold as big ole' manwhore who plugs pussies like it's going out of style.
Furthermore, Gerry is not some dude who is into "going out on stupid dates" and doing lovey dovey shit. No. Gerry is a "bust and bounce" man. Gerry's dick is not about to have brunch with you or go apple picking in the country. Don't. Get. It. Twisted.
Earlier today, I wrote some crap about how Mischa Barton was taken to the hospital by the police last night, because she needed oral surgery on her wisdom teeth. Well, apparently that's not what really happened. Access Hollywood says that Mischa glided over the cuckoo's nest last night and the police were called to wheel her in.
A source claims Mischa is now at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center under a 5150 hold (aka The Cheeto Code). Authorities can place a person on a 5150 when they believe they might hurt themselves or others, or have the crazies in a serious way. Cedars can hold Mischa for 72 hours.
You know, let's just blame all of this on Brandon "Greasy Bear" Davis. I mean, Mischa did suck on that for a while and that'll flip anybody's switch.
Squinty Zellweger almost got hit by a bus at LAX yesterday, because she was too busy enjoying the sweet sensation of her coat's lining giving her nipples a gentle rubdown. Seriously, how did Squinty get up that morning and put on a jacket without a top on! Did the spirit of a crackie hobo flasher jump into her body? That would explain the hair too.
Actually, Squinty is just giving us a flash of her sexy toothpick physique before she has to get Bridget-Jones-a-fied again.
Quween of the Scene chopped down the competition and won the title of Hot Slut of the Month! Strawberry Hill was on her ass in a major way, but Quween managed to beat that bitch. That's kind of ironic since you know Strawberry Hill is Quween's nectar of choice (and mine too!).
Above is Quween toasting her victory with our very own Hot Babe of 2007, Mama Chicken Cutlets and Henry.
Thanks to all who voted!
I think the most offensive thing about this picture of Jayde Nicole is the "respect" tattoo over her 'gina area. GO VAG! - Hollywood Tuna
If a disco ball and a baby troll doll pencil topper collided - Egotastic!
RPattz's stunt double needs more crushed diamonds on his body to pass the test - Popsugar
Sophia Loren knows how to do it - Lainey Gossip
Benjamin Button's Wired pics - Just Jared
Mary Carey is a wife?!!!? (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
People vs. Poles - Cityrag
Thousands of people gathered at a nudist resorts across North America (the video above is from Baltimore) to take off all their panties and jump into a pool together in order to set the Guinness World Record for the "largest simultaneous skinny dip" in history. They did it! And I also think they set a new record for the "largest number of people you don't want to see nekkid, getting nekkid at once."
Although, I'd gladly let the hot bearded piece at the 0:12 mark rub his fopa all over my b-cheeks. The same goes for Saggy McLowTits at the 0:22 mark. Fuck, I take back what I said about not wanting to see these people nekkid. That pool was like a big pot of pure hotness!
Someone who was at the Sasha Fierce show in Los Angeles told People that Tommy Gurrrrrllll was there without his Stepford Beard and he broke into the "Single Ladies" dance in front of everyone!! The ho went on to say, "Everyone was laughing and taking pictures."
If this ever makes it onto the internet, every Glittery Gay of YouTube is going to pack up their swish and go, because the know they could never top this! And by "never top this," I mean that in more ways than one, because I don't think Tommy Girl busts it like that.
My glitter fountain is slowly drying up just from picturing Tommy Girl dropping his Scientolohole low. That's probably the dance he does when Stepford Katie tries to get frisky. When Tommy thrusts his hips, even robotic vaginas shut down.
Image source: Fugly.com (how appropriate)
Loki's soulmate, Robert Downey Jr. and ScarJo are all on the cover of the latest Entertainment Weekly as their Iron Man characters. While I appreciate seeing RDJ's plastic red mango crotch and Mickey's always-precious chilaquiles face, I am not amused by ScarJo.
It looks like she has Carrot Top's luscious dick bush on her head. They should've just wrapped Carrot Top's peen in black leather and had it play the Black Widow. It would probably do a better Russian accent than ScarJo too. OH FUCK, her Russian accent is going to make the entire city of Moscow weep for a thousand years. They are barely getting over Harrison Ford's butchery in K-19: Widowmaker.