Well, that was fast. Michael Jackson hasn't been buried yet and Debbie Rowe has already opened up her no-lips to the media. In an interview with the prestigious and well-respected News of the World, Debbie started by saying, "Where's my cashiers check?" Then she went on to say that Prince Michael and Paris are not her ex-husband's biological children. Debbie says the sperm came from a donor and not from MJ. Oh, Debbie, you should teach a master class in class and taste.
Debbie could never talk about any of this before, because she signed a confidentiality agreement before she skipped off with a large bag of MJ's money. But now that he's gone, let the famewhoring begin!
Debbie said, ""I was just the vessel. It wasn't Michael's sperm. Just like I stick the sperm up my horse, this is what they did to me. I was his thoroughbred." And this is the part where my brain vomits...
While she was pregnant with Prince Michael, MJ wanted to marry Debbie so they could look like a perfect family. They never sexed it up together or even kissed on the lips.
After Debbie gave birth to Paris, she learned that she could never have kids again, "The delivery was so hard. My insides were all torn up and I was barren. When he knew I couldn't have any more babies he didn't want anything to do with me."
MJ reportedly bought her a house and gave her millions of dollars to go away. Debbie says she will not fight for custody of Prince Michael or Paris, "I know I will never see them again. I was never cut out to be a mother - I was no good. I don't want these children in my life. My children are my animals now."
If any of this is true, you better believe that some dumb ho is going to crawl out of a roach motel and declare he's "the sperm donor" just so he can get a piece. On a very special Maury.....
Debbie isn't the only bitch spilling the Jesus Jesus. The London Times has a long ass suspect interview with Nanny Grace, who worked for MJ for years. In the interview, Nanny Grace claims she pumped Michael's stomach of drugs many times. She also says he was so broke that she had to buy balloons for Paris' birthday using her own money. I gave a side-eye to that last part. I mean, Nanny Grace also says the last time he paid her was in 2008, so where did she get this money for balloons?! Nanny Grace, try harder!
Usually, you only see pristine creatures like this roaming the side streets of Panama City Beach, FL picking up discarded cigarette butts in the gutter while looking for a peen to blow. But Las Vegas got a treat (and a trick) when HoHan showed up to the MGM Grand looking like she had just been released by the PCB PD after spending the night on a concrete bed.
HoHan was there to celebrate her (brace yourself....hold on to something....seriously) TWENTY-THIRD BIRTHDAY. Bitch looks more like a 40-something seasoned hooker celebrating her 23rd year on the ho stroll.
When I first saw this picture of HoHan, I immediately got flashes of this hot bitch:
Although, I don't think HoHan's swollen belly is due to a human baby friend. Well, she could be pregnant with an 8-ball, but I just think it's a case of good old desperation bloat. Getting her picture in a tabloid magazine this week will ease that shit.
NOOOOO!!!! What in the fuck is going on?! It has been confirmed that infomercial superstar Billy Mays has been taken away from us at the young age of 50. Billy was found by his wife at their home in Tampa, FL at around 7:45 this morning. No cause of death is known at this time, but an autopsy on Billy's body is scheduled for tomorrow. Foul play is not suspected. Billy was supposed to have his third hip replacement surgery tomorrow. Billy's wife issued this statement:
"Although Billy lived a public life, we don't anticipate making any public statements over the next couple of days. Our family asks that you respect our privacy during these difficult times."
Billy had just returned to Tampa from Philadelphia where he was filming an infomercial for OxiClean. Billy's plane had a little issues during landing. Billy Twittered yesterday: "Just had a close call landing in Tampa. The tires blew out upon landing. Stuck in the plane on the runway. You can always count on US Air."
As much as Billy's sawdust voice made my ears chaffey, I will still miss it and him! Nobody could yell at us while selling a household cleaning product quite like him. Let's all wish Billy a safe journey to the giant infomercial in the sky.... May he rest in peace.....
Pabst, the winner of the World's Ugliest Dog contest 2009! Pabst, a boxer-mix with a serious under bit from Citrus Heights, CA, beat out a dozen beautifully fugly dogs to win the crown as well as $1,600 in prizes and a modeling contract. Pabst is the first non-Chinese Crested dog to win the title in 5 years.
Below is a video clip of some of the other dogs and you'll see that Pabst isn't that fugly! I don't want to hiss at him or throw holy water at his face, so he's not that bad! Before 3 years of headgear use and 5 years of braces, my teeth practically looked like that.
With a wig, some lipstick, a pair of fake lashes and a new set of plastic titty balls, Pabst could practically pass for a housewife on The Real Housewives series. Bitch would look better actually.
Kathy Bates (61)
Lacey Schwimmer (21)
Kellie Pickler (23)
Karim Abdul-Jabbar (35)
Alessandro Nivola (37)
Tichinia Arnold (38)
Aileen Quinn (38)
Steve Burton (39)
Mike White (39)
Gil Bellows (42)
John Cusack (43)
Mary Stuart Masterson (43)
Bruce Davison (63)
Mel Brooks (83)