It seems that every celebrity on the planet has issued a statement about the passing of Michael Jackson. Seriously, every single. Below is just a few from those who worked with him or knew him well. Understandably, Elizabeth Taylor just can't deal right now, so her rep said she will issue a statement at a later time.
Brooke Shields: "My heart is overcome with sadness for the devastating loss of my true friend Michael. He was an extraordinary friend, artist and contributor to the world. I join his family and his fans in celebrating his incredible life and mourning his untimely passing."
Madonna: "I can't stop crying over the sad news. I have always admired Michael Jackson. The world has lost one of the greats, but his music will live on forever! My heart goes out to his three children and other members of his family. God bless."
Lisa Marie Presley: "I am so very sad and confused with every emotion possible. I am heartbroken for his children, who I know were everything to him, and for his family. This is such a massive loss on so many levels, words fail me."
Quincy Jones: "I am absolutely devastated at this tragic and unexpected news. For Michael to be taken away from us so suddenly at such a young age, I just don't have the words."
Liza Minnelli: "He was a kind, genuine, and wonderful man. He was also one of the greatest entertainers that ever lived. I loved him very much and I will miss him every remaining day of my life."
Corey Feldman: "I come to you today with great sadness, acknowledging the loss of the greatest entertainer in the history of mankind. For me he was more than that, he was my idol, he was a role model, he was someone to cry to when my childhood was unbearable, he was a brother, he was a dear friend. Unfortunately Michael and I had a falling out on September 10th 2001 and that broken friendship had never been repaired … I am filled with tremendous sadness and remorse. All I choose to remember from this point is the good times we shared and what an inspiration he was to me and the rest of the world. Nobody will ever be able to do what Michael Jackson has done in this industry, and he was so close to doing it all again. I am truly, and deeply sorry for all of the heartbroken fans and supporters worldwide."
TMZ is reporting that that Michael Jackson died in Los Angeles from cardiac arrest. The Los Angeles Times, AP, CNN and CBS all confirm the report. The L.A. Times says doctors pronounced him dead after he arrived at the hospital in a deep coma. He was only 50-years-old.
I really don't know what to say. I am completely shocked. This doesn't feel like real life! TMZ has all the details. I'll write a little more later.
And I'm back (FYI: this part was written a couple of hours later). I just finished watching hours upon hours of Michael Jackson coverage and I still don't really know what to say. I will say that the dude made awesome music. That's a fact. You know you busted your shit to at least one Michael Jackson song in your bedroom, a club, a parking lot, a high school gymnasium, etc... The first time I ever drunkenly fell off the stage at a club, "Scream" was playing. Yes, I remember that. I also remember staying up late to watch the premiere of "Remember the Time" on MTV (back when MTV still played videos). I recorded it over Maid to Over on VHS, just so I could watch it a bunch of times.
Michael Jackson's music will live on forever. Hos will be dancing to it for the rest of eternity. Below is my favorite Michael Jackson song. It's also one of my favorite karaoke songs. I mean, you can't lose when singing about special rat friends:
And here's a few pictures of Michael through the years.
TMZ reports that Michael Jackson is at UCLA Medical Center in Los Angeles right now after he suffered cardiac arrest. They say that someone called 911 from his home and requested an ambulance. While in the ambulance, paramedics gave him CPR.
Jacko is currently rehearsing for his big comeback show in London.
Joe Jackson told E! News that he knows his son is in the hospital, but doesn't have any details: "I am in Las Vegas but yes people in Los Angeles called me and are with Michael and tell me he was taken to the hospital. His mother is on her way to the hospital now to check in on him. I am not sure what's wrong. I am waiting to hear back from them."
UPDATE: E! News spoke to Joe Jackson again who said, "He had a heart attack. He is not OK." Apparently, Michael was not breathing when the call to 911 was made. When the paramedics arrived, they found someone giving him CPR. The paramedics continued to administer CPR on him in the ambulance while making their way to the hospital.
When is Mimi going to break open her giant Hello Kitty piggy bank and buy a shit load of stock in Adobe? Nobody loves Photoshop the way Mimi does. Photoshop should pay homage to their #1 client by renaming themselves MimiShop. It's the least they can do.
If Adobe ever went out of business, Mimi's rainbow ass would melt down into a puddle liquefied Skittles.
This is the cover for Mimi's new album "Memoirs of an Imperfect Angel....Who Becomes Perfect Thanks To Photoshop." Mimi explained the cover of Twitter: "The reason I chose to use 3 images for the cover is cos there are a lot of different emotions and stories revealed on this album. I knew..."
Um. Her face is giving me the same emotion in all three pictures: "I have the farts." However, her Hello Titties are delivering in the raw emotion department. In picture one they are saying to each other: "I loves you." In picture two they are saying: "Hmmm...I'm kind of mad at you." In picture three they are saying: "I HATE YOU!"
Well, well, well, it looks like Little Miss Jodie Marsh 2.0 is back from flaunting her twin bags of off-ramp oranges in Ibiza. Katie Price was at the grocery store in England today with the President of The Hood Rat Stuff Club: UK Branch and Princess Tiamaiamamaiamiamaiammam.
Harvey Price looks happier than me in a tub filled with Mother's Circus Animal Cookies, but I hope he gave his mother serious shade for leaving his ass for a full week! Katie could have packed Harvey up and taken him to Ibiza with her. Harvey knows how to bust it low and party with the glittery gays. Katie probably knew Harvey would take the spotlight away from her, so she left the little bright shining star at home.
And did Katie marinate Princess Tiamamamammai in Tang?!
Robin Williams' penis is on the loose again - Towleroad
Paris Hilton wears a bikini in Dubai. Jail the skankwhoreslutbitch! - Egotastic!
Jon Gosselin gave this sweet ass up - Just Jared
Sienna Miller looking absolutely virginal and pure in white - Hollywood Tuna
Emilie de Ravin continues to be a brave woman - Popsugar
Posh and her downsized breasts surface in France - Lainey Gossip
Kate Moss is so demure (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
JLo's nipples GLOW. Sorry. - Cityrag
A turtle nibbling on a piece of wet lettuce - Crunk + Disorderly
Old timey sexy times: Jackie O and Marlon Brando got it on - Hollywood Rag
The President of Zambia was holding a news conference when a monkey in a tree decided to let him know exactly how he felt by going pee pee all over his jacket! This reminds me of a quote from a wise woman named Judge Judy: "Don't piss on my head, and tell me it's raining."
The President laughed it off and continued with the press conference, but I would've slapped that bitch! Ask me first before you give me a golden shower!
This reminds me of the time that I was all dressed up to go to the wedding. I was strolling to the church, thinking I looked classier than a lucite heel against a stripper pole, when some gross bird squirted scat juice all over my clothes! That dumb bitch ruined my outfit! Everyone's a critic!
You know, I shouldn't joke, because this is most likely going to be my future too. But instead of a crazy cat lady, I'll be a crazy cat bunny puppy gay. I'm fine with it. Unlike humans, animals gladly leave their shit out in the open for you to deal with.
This is the trailer for a documentary on crazy cat ladies currently making the film festival rounds. It's serious business. I like cats and kittens, but who needs 16 of them?! Besides Jeremy Piven, who wants to open up drawer to find a dozen pussies jumping out at them? Some of these hos needs to trade in a cat or two for a vibrator. When I'm a crazy cat bunny puppy gay, I hope to come back to this post and read that last sentence again so that I can take my own advice!
And we should all take these hot bitches out to a place that doesn't reek of cat piss and tuna vomit for a really strong DRANK.
After a long battle with cancer, Farrah Fawcett has passed away at the young age of 62. Ryan O'Neal and her good friend Alana Stewart were both at St. John's Health Center in Los Angeles with Farrah when she died. While leaving the hospital, Alana told ET, "I just lost my best friend. Her death was very peaceful."
Ryan released this statement: "After a long and brave battle with cancer, our beloved Farrah has passed away. Although this is an extremely difficult time for her family and friends, we take comfort in the beautiful times that we shared with Farrah over the years and the knowledge that her life brought joy to so many people around the world."
Farrah is survived by her 24-year-old son Redmond.
We were all expecting this, but it still brings the sads. Farrah was a funny, talented, vibrant and beautiful lady! And she had good hair. She had really good hair.
May Farrah rest in peace.... And this is totally cliche, but it's the only thing I can think of right now: Heaven gets another angel.
Simon Cowell is about to trump Oprah as the highest paid pussycat on TV. Last year, Oprah reportedly made a total of $275 million. If a new deal goes through, Simon's nipples will soon be squirting gold leche.
The New York Post says that Simon is in talks with British billionaire Sir Philip Green to start a new production company that will create TV shows in the UK and the US. On top of that, Simon's contract with American Idol is up for re-negotiation and you know he's going to milk those hos dry. A source said that Simon's new contract with Idol will "make him the best-paid star of TV."
There's no way Oprah is going to sit on her diamond-studded throne and just let this happen. Don't be surprised if you see Gayle King on the ho stroll selling ass in a spandex mini-skirt and leather pasties. Homegirl is going to have to contribute to the family fortune!