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Megan Fox is not only one of the most prolific thinkers of our time, but she also knows how to show up to premiere looking like a Downtown Las Vegas stripper on the prowl for a dollar, a dick and a dream! An elegant dress like this could take you from a dinner at a fancy restaurant to getting quick dicked in the back of an '89 Chrysler LeBaron. This dress has it all. Megan Fox made the right choice and by the looks of it, her nippies also approve.

I know this might be giving you flavors of St. Angie's freakum dress from Cannes, but Megan does it better. Megan has the "I will lick yo taint for a Diet Rite" attitude to pull it off with grace and class. And Megan would totally win against St. Angie in a debate on philosophy and stuff like that.

Here's more of Megan with Shia LaDouche at the Berlin premiere of Trannyformers tonight. In some of the pictures, it looks like she's trying to steal Shia's wallet. Once a shady ho, always a shady ho!!

Anybody in the mood for a soggy Snausage? Or how about a mangled egg roll? I've got both of those things here for you! This past week, nekkid pictures of Kate Gosselin's hair twin (aka Shawn from Vh1's Tool Academy) and 6 Gauge from Daisy of Love hit the internets. Don't get all excited. It's not going to make your no-no slobber. Bring your dipping sauce and get yourself a mini-weiner after the jump. And it's totally NSFW. Well, unless you work at Hickory Farms. JUMP!!!!

The Britain's Got Talent tour started just two days ago and Susan Boyle has already called in sick. The Daily Mail says that Susan didn't perform in today's matinee in Manchester and she also won't bedazzle the audience with her glorious hummingbird yodel tonight.

The show's rep said that Susan isn't going back to the house of crazy, she's just got the tireds. The spokeswhore for BGT said, "She has been advised to rest today. She has done three amazing performances but she is being advised to rest. She is really disappointed because she wants to be out there performing but she has been advised to have this rest. She sends her sincere apologies to her fans for not appearing in Manchester."

SuBo probably went on an all-night booze and coke binge with her cat Pebbles, so she just needs a day to let the drunk ills wash off of her. Hopefully, SuBo is lying in her Snuggie, sipping on Emergen-C & whiskey and watching Golden Girls re-runs.

Heidi Klum must have queefed into one of Karl Lagerfeld's cup of virgin's blood, because she is #2 on his hit list right after food. It wasn't too long ago that Karl slithered out of his coffin to say that Heidi could never walk in a high-fashion show, because she is so fat that she would break the catwalk in two. Basically.

Well, Karl has whipped Heidi with his glistening white mane of electrocuted Brillo pads once again. This time Karl has decided to go after Heidi's husband Seal. Specifically, Seal's face scars which were caused by a condition called discoid lupus erythematosus.

Kunty Karl said, "I am no dermatologist but I wouldn't want his skin. Mine looks better than his. He is covered in craters."

Karl's skin looks like the remnants of a hot dog that exploded in the microwave, so he would be wrong.

And you know how we all joke about that parade down to the ninth circle of Hell we're all going to march in? Well, Kunty Karl is going to be the Grand Marshal!

Source VIA Gawker

The paparazzi lost their minds when international supermodel and premiere seat filler Phoebe Price hit the streets of Beverly Hills yesterday! All cameras were on Chicken Cutlets, because the paps got bored with shooting plants, the sidewalk, rolly pollies, homeless people and the sky. NO! The truth is, HoHan and Susan Boyle were mouth fucking down the street while Miley Cyrus ran nekkid around them, but the paps decided to shoot PP instead. They know what the public really want to see.

And the "I gave up my job at Radio Shack for this" side-eye the pap in the middle is giving sums it all up.

Mrs. Amandah Berkowski! - When I clicked "play" on this video at Urlesque yesterday, I had no idea it would push me into a bizarre world where a pregnant magical pixie gyrates her bump like she's working hard for a WIC coupon. I seriously spent precious hours watching most of Mrs. Amandah's works of art and I've come to the conclusion that this is what entertainment truly is. Everything we thought was entertainment before....wasn't! I mean, paying homage to Twilight by thrusting your pregnant cooch while lip-synching to your own *dazzling* "ferret with tonsillitis" voice? Amazing! Amandah-mazing!

Above is Amandah's version of RiRi's "Disturbia (IS RIGHT)" and below is her take on Shakira's "Hips Don't Lie." Simon Cowell, please meet your next superstar sensation!