The White House Correspondents' Dinner was last night in DC and it looked like they put the invite on Facebook, because hos who had no business being there showed up to clink flutes with the President. By the looks of who showed up, this looks more like the White Castle Correspondents' Dinner. How did some of these trollops get in? I'm sure there were a lot of discarded caterer suits in the back hallway, because that's how most of them snuck in. Flat Stanley is the only bitch who deserved a chair at this dinner!
Okay, okay, some of these hos belonged, but only like 99.999999%. See for yourself. In order: Flat Stanley (with date Ed Westwick), Ashton Kutcher, Demi Moore, Mariska Hargitay, Trudie Styler, Sting, Jon Bon Jovi, Amy Polar Bear, Natasha Bedingfield, Ty Ty Baby, Eva Longwhoria, Ricky Schroeder, Tommy Girl, a middle-aged alien robot wearing one of Barbara Bush's old ones, Kara DioSTFU, James Franco, Chace Crawford (who can't believe he's that close to boobies), Glenn Close, the baddest Monday-To-Friday-er in the room Samuel L. Jackson, Natalie Porkme, a tranny zombie wearing a blonde wig and STAINS' twin brother. See what I mean?
When pictures of both Cassie and Alien Princess RiRi with their decorated chichi balls out hit the internets, many whores (including this one) figured they put that shit out themselves or a certain rabid animal was behind it (*cough*Chris*Brown*cough*). But Miss Info says this isn't so! According to her, the hacker who snatched the puss has had these pictures since last year. And there's more where that came from.
Apparently, the hacker has more pictures of RiRi (with Chris Brown) and Cassie with someone else. Allegedly, the hacker also has nekkid ass flicks of JLo, Jamie Foxx and Christina Milian in his archive. Those are the last three people on Earth I want to see with their private business out. Well, I wouldn't mine seeing Jamie's fox tail, but NOT his fox hole. I don't need to know him like that.
I also hope those nudie JLo pics are from 2005 or before, because nobody needs to know what her bare chichichangas look like today.
When are these fucktardians going to learn that when you take pictures of your fuck parts and send them around, it's only a matter of time before the world sees it and starts ridiculing you for your giant nipples or lop-sided vag lips. Or whatever.
I wonder if this mysterious hacker does requests? Because my request is to never leak pictures of Mah Boo Anderson Cooper, Prince Hot Ginge or Carrot Top! As much as my peen begs for this, I don't think my no-no would come out alive. It would shake, rattle and POP. My no-no is the most important part of my life. It's the reason I get up in the morning and without it, I would be LOST. Okay, I lie. Bring on Mah Boo's chrome pole!
Justin Timberlake should really just become a full-time ho on SNL, because that's the only time I can stand his annoying ass. That is his calling right there. Last night, JT hosted and presented the sequel to Dick In A Box called Mother Lover. This song can also be called Shia's Anthem.
And this time, Justin and Andy Samberg brought Susan Sarandon and Patricia Clarkson with them. That's what did it for me. Patricia caressing herself with a daisy? I can't.
Happy Muthah's Day. Let's NOT celebrate by fucking each other's mother's. Maybe next year.
Click here if you can't see that shit above.
MOTHER'S CIRCUS ANIMAL COOKIES!!!!! - In honor of Mother's Day, I felt it was a perfect time to honor one of the world's greatest treasures (AGREE WITH ME OR ELSE)! It's been a long and horrific 7 months without them, but they are back in their original packaging!
It all started back in October of 2008, when Mother's announced that the evil doer that is THE ECONOMY killed their spirit and their circus animals. THE ECONOMY is an animal killer. Peta, get on that! Anyway, the company shut down. Two months later, Kellogg's bought Mother's and all their recipes. The world was beautiful again...or was it?. Two months after that, Kellogg's started selling Circus Animal Cookies under the Keebler label and the new packaging made my soul WEEP. Well, someone at Kellogg's got butt fucked with some sense and replaced the new packaging with the original! It's like Mother's never evah left! So this Mother's Day, celebrate their triumphant return by running down to Food 4 Less (or wherever you buy food shit) to pick up the new/old bag of Frosted Circus Animal Cookies. Then crush that sugary deliciousness down and do a few lines with your mommy. That is really the only way to spend Mommy's Day.
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