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It seems like all the crack, heroin, freon, battery acid and (insert every drug name here), didn't kill Blaaaaaaake's sperm, because the dude has possibly created a fetus. That's what a 31-year-old jobless heroin addict and mother of 2 claims. Child Protective Services please stand by. You will be needed in 3...2...

Gilleen Morris has told The News of the World that she is six weeks pregnant with Blaaake's baby. Amy Wino's husband began putting his crack pipe in Gilleen's heroin box last February after they met in rehab. They did gross and unprotected things together for about three weeks until they were caught. That's when the nastiness ended. Gilleen said she never knew this would happen. HOW IZ BABEHZ GETS MADE?

Gilleen said Blaaake only talked about Wino a few times and said he was never going back to her.

Shortly after they started doing fucky times together (the visual makes cockroaches barf), Gilleen found out she was knocked up. When Gilleen got out of the rehab, she went to the doctor and he confirmed that she was carrying a dragon chasing baby! When she told Blaaaake the news, at first he said "OH FUCK" and then he said he would help her raise their child. Such sweet poetry, right?

Gilleen's first instinct was to get an abortion, but isn't sure what to do now after hearing Blaaaake would support her. The heroin head said, "Life as single mum wouldn't be good. I raised two kids before as a single mum and it was very tough. I'm older now, but every day is a challenge to stay off heroin. Once I've met Blake again face to face I'll decide what to do. He's too young to settle down, but if he could be a good parent that's something different. It would be good for him. Having a child gives you a new outlook on life. You see things differently. Blake would want to protect the baby. It could help beat his drug problems."

What in the fuck?! Does she think she's going to give birth to Dr. Drew or some shit?! Babies don't cure crackheads! If anything they make that shit worse. Babies want to make you hit the bad shit with all their crying and pooping! She should know. She has two kids already and still a junked-up twat.

Nothing good can come from this! Gilleen could very well give birth to a giant mole filled with heroin! Then Wino will come and snort it up! Or worse, Gilleen and Blaaaaake will try to raise the poor baby! Eventually, they would try to sell it for an 8-ball! Vadge needs to adopt it. That's the only way.

There's also a good chance that a) she's not knocked up (crackheads tend to lie for a quick buck) or b) (read this in your best Maury Povo voice) Blaaaake isn't even the father!!!

Mega bonghead Woody Harrelson got into a little tussle at NYC's LaGuardia Airport this past Thursday with a TMZ cameradude who wanted to get up into his life. Woody didn't feel like playing, so he grabbed at the dude and broke one of his cameras. The dude can be heard whining on the video from TMZ that Woody is assaulting him. Woody busted out of there and the cameradude called the police who took his report.

This isn't the first time Woody got down with a pap from TMZ. Two years ago, Woody was accused of choking a trick from TMZ. Woody is trying to get that case dismissed.

Yesterday, Woody issued a statement explaining what went down at LaGuardia:

"I wrapped a movie called `Zombieland,' in which I was constantly under assault by zombies, then flew to New York, still very much in character. With my daughter at the airport I was startled by a paparazzo who I quite understandably mistook for a zombie."

So that's why I like Woody Harrelson!

You know, don't zombies usually attack bitches with brains?! They were going after the wrong ho, because Woody smoked up his brains years ago! And Woody needs to watch more zombie movies. You don't attack their asses! You go for the head! GO FOR THE HEAD!!!

This is just another reason why weed is a beautiful thing. It makes you say hilarious shit like this!

Source

At the Berlin Zoo yesterday, a crazy lady decided to take off her shoes and pay Knut a little visit! It was polite of her to take off her shoes before entering...

The 32-year-old loontardian, who was visiting the zoo with her husband and baby, broke into the polar bear enclosure during the perfect time: FEEDING TIME! Why are people stupid? Why?

When the crazy bitch finally got in, she seemed like she was filled with happiness as she swam towards one of the older polar bears. Knut was not around at the time, because he was doing a photo shoot with Playgirl or something. Now, I don't know what kind of craziness was swirling through that bitch's head while she swam towards a hongray polar bear. Maybe she thought it would be like the cartoons and they'd skip off together into the fake icy tundra. Obviously, that didn't happen.

The polar bears must have thought it was their fucking birthday! Here was a special needs seal swimming directly into their mouths! It didn't take long for them to begin biting at the bitch! When the kook realized the polar bears were gnawing at her instead of showering her with welcoming kisses, she began swimming towards safety. Some of the zoo workers tried to get the bears away from her while others hoisted the heifer up the wall with a lifesaver. The first time they tried, the lifesaver broke, but eventually they got her ass up there. The woman was taken to the nearest hospital where she was treated for bites to her arms and legs.

Nobody knows why she decided it was a good idea to try to play with the polar bears, but I think I know why. It's because she's FUCKING CRAZIER THAN FUCKING CRAZY! Let's be serious.

I think she also might be stalking Knut. Knut needs to look into taking out a restraining order against that nut!

Below is video of her rescue and also some pictures of her getting bit by a polar bear. Maybe he wasn't trying to eat her ass. Maybe he was getting kinky with her?

The Grand Marshall of Assholes, Billy Bob Thornton, became dick bag of the week in Canada (and the world) after he forgot to take the tampon out of his asshole before a radio interview with CBC's Jian Ghomeshi. Click here to relive the douchery if your chosen fuck hole is feeling extra dirty today.

The night of the interview, Billy Bob and his stupid band opened for Willie Nelson in Toronto. They were welcomed with the sweet sound of booooooos. Mostly because during that pube-killing interview, Billy Bob called Canadians "mashed potatoes with no gravy." Billy Bob later tried to play it off like he didn't mean all Canadians, just Jian. Billy didn't appreciate Jian bringing up his stupid movie career when he was specifically told not to. Blah. Caca. Who cares.

It was too fucking late for Billy Bob's hollow explanations anyway. The lame goat already fucked himself. And he got ass fucked again by a symphony boos. Just call him Billy BOOOO Thornton.

The boos must have made Billy Bob cry into his soggy peen all night, because his band canceled the rest of their Canadian dates. They were supposed to play Montreal and London, but the shows will not go on. Their spokesbitch insists it isn't because Billy Bob got his ass booed. They issued this statement: "It is absolutely not because of the CBC interview. One of the band members and several of the crew have the flu and need a couple of days off to recuperate. Billy does not have the flu. The band is only concerned about giving the audience the best show possible, and when one of them is down with the flu, they can't do that. As Billy said before and during the show last night, he loves Canada."

If booing his fugly ass is all it takes for Billy Bob to quit a country, then I say we all should pucker up our lips and serenade him with BOOOOOOS! Bitch will be chased out of every country and eventually end up living in a cave in Antarctica or some shit. It won't take long before the penguins will find his ass and they will find a way to boo through their beaks. Let's boo him off this fucking planet.

And someone really needs to ask Billy Bob if Tom Petty would cancel shows after getting booed? What would Tom Petty do?

Source: The Star

Leech Woman from Puppet Master - Thanks to Shawn for bringing this horror back into my life after I spent years successfully blocking it out. I will have to sleep with two eyes open for the next few weeks. I'm afraid that one of my Kano Sisters dolls will start spewing leeches into my mouth. No. Below is a tribute video to the terrifyingly hot Leech Woman:

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