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Tila Tequila recently flashed a possibly fake engagement ring on her finger from heirmess Casey Johnson, and now she's claiming that she's got a fetus growing in her womb. Tila announced the terrifying news on her Twitter last night. This is coming from the mind of Tila Tequila, so take it with a grain of salt and read it with a side-eye. It could be a trap! You know how those trolls are! Always telling riddles and playing jokes!

If this is true, I don't know if Tila's brother thought this through. Maybe he should've asked an obese and slightly senile raccoon first. That probably would've been a better choice.

And this reminds me of the time I got my mom a kitten for her birthday. The first thing she said was, "Oh, thanks for getting me something I have to take care of and buy food for."

via ONTD

What. The. Fuck. 2009 just needs to turn the fuck around and walk away. TMZ is saying that Brittany Murphy died early this morning in Los Angeles. Brittany was just 32.

TMZ reports that Brittany went into full cardiac arrest at her home this morning. Brittany was rushed to Cedars Sinai by ambulance. She was pronounced dead on arrival. It's not known whether Brittany's husband Simon Monjack was with her at the time.

Brittany is probably best known for playing Ty in Clueless and for being the voice of Luanne Platter on King of the Hill, but she was also in Freeway (my personal favorite), 8 Mile, Girl Interrupted, Riding in the Car with Boys, Uptown Girls, and Sin City.

This hasn't been confirmed by Brittany's rep, so I'm keeping the question mark in the title until or if it does get confirmed.

Damn. Way harsh and sad.

UPDATE: Unfortunately, Brittany's rep confirmed that she died at 10:04 this morning at Cedars. Her rep issued this statement to People:

"In this time of sadness, the family thanks you for your love and support. It is their wish that you respect their privacy."

The LAPD has opened up an investigation into her death. An autopsy will be performed tomorrow.

Before Vadge adopted/purchased Baby Jesus, and right after her venus fly snatch spit out Guy Ritchie's nutsack, she went out on a date with cocktail waitress aficionado George Clooney. It turned out to be the date that hell barfed up. That's what the Daily Star (via Digital Spy) says anyway. Yeah, it sounds like meth balls were on the menu at the Daily Star holiday party.

A source (aka the internet who is also a skilled writer of fan fiction) said this, "George figured Madonnais a smart, accomplished woman, so why not give it a try? They went out for dinner in New York but it turned out really bad. She kept trying to make jokes that weren't at all funny the entire time and didn't want to have a real conversation. He couldn't wait to get out of there."

Let's just say this didn't happen in someone's acid trip, and it happened in real life. Who would ever put those two together? In order to date George, you have to be a gold medalist at body shots and a master at the art of drunkenly falling off of banquettes while dancing. And in order to date Vadge, you have to be okay with not having fun, because that ho could suck the party out of a Jersey Shore episode.

Besides, can you imagine these two bumping it? Vadge would rip his shit up! It would be like He-Man and Howdy Doody getting it on. Vadge's strap-on would turn George's no-no hole into a no longer hole.

Beatrice Okulova - If Dixie Carter and a magical unicorn made beautiful love in a pool of fermented potatoes during a Sharpie storm, their love child would look and sing just like Beatrice Okulova! Beatrice is a Russian opera lip-syncher and a professor of music in Moscow.

Watch Beatrice's artistry at work below! Watch as she slowly massages the music with her soul and allows the notes to dance off her opulent eyebrows before diving into our hearts.

For Cleo

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