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75-year-old Rue McClanahan was supposed to grace the stage of San Francisco's The Castro on November 14th, but she was forced to cancel that date after her heart started giving her trouble. Don't weep into the cheesecake just yet, because Rue is doing much better. Rue's rep told EW that she underwent bypass surgery in New York yesterday and is expected to make a full recovery.

Rue went into see the doctor for a routine examine on Monday and he diagnosed her with acute cardiac illness. Rue had this to say from her hospital room (picture her in a marabou robe with a glass of champagne and soft frosty lighting on her perfectly made-up face): "My darlings, I'm just devastated that I am going to have to miss my own tribute at the Castro Theatre. Unfortunately, my doctor has laid down the law, and I'm currently having some maintenance on the old ticker. Trust me, I'd much rather be in San Francisco having fun and being adored by all of you."

This is good to hear, because heaven cannot take two Golden Girls in the span of one year. That is a commandment for God. Thou Shalt Not!

(Thanks to Blair for the headline)

Suri Cruise is still on the bottle. Maybe she's waiting until she's old enough to trade in her baby bottle for a vodka bottle? She's smart like that. - Popsugar

St. Angie and Bradette Jr. went to The Gap - Just Jared

Jesus is trying to take the wheel - Towleroad

Emma Thompson is trying to erase her name from that petition - Lainey Gossip

Hayden Panatroll is a refined lady in Elle - Hollywood Tuna

Sophie Monk's face is as shiny as that trophy (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Megan Fox has outtakes - Egotastic!

The Gutte, The Stache, and The Danson will be together again - ICYDK

Mini-Me doesn't have a mini-sized temper - Hollywood Rag

No Doubt is touchy - Socialite Life

Kristen Stewart has my kind of vocabulary - Celebitchy

David Walliams' old piece obviously had a craving for a dried orange peel - Holy Moly!

Another game of "Guess the Celebrity Tattoo" - Cityrag

Pack up the dildos, Gayle, because Oprah is going to cable - I'm Not Obsessed

Nicolas Cage is losing money faster than he's losing his hair - Popeater

(Image: INFDaily.com)

If Abuelita Chocolate didn't win Hot Slut of the Month, we all would have gotten slapped by a hand full of rings. Because when Abuelita gets ready to slap a bitch, her hand suddenly becomes a Zales display case. Thankfully, none of us will have to open the First-Aid kit since Abuelita Chocolate beat (with a backyard sneaker) out the rest of her competition. Thanks to all who voted!

Our Lady of Cheetos landed in Perth yesterday to being the Australian leg of her "Iz Can Wave My Handz" world tour. While Brit Brit looked happy to be in Perth, her nipples looked like they wanted to take a holiday to Tasmania. Actually, one nipple wants to head south while the other one is trying to hitchhike out of there to check out the west. She's got wandering nipples.

And those of you screaming about how Brit Brit needs to put a BRARAWN (copyright: Jill Zarin) are fighting a losing battle. The only way she's going to stuff her hush puppies into a bra is if it's made out of delicious beef jerky.

Sharon Osbourne became one of my personal heroes when she de-weaved that skank Megan Hauserman last year. And Sharon brought the cuntery yet again when she went on a rant about the most famous person in the world, Susan Boyle, to Opie & Anthony (clip above).

Sharon sounded like a Dlisted comment come to life when she said, "I like everybody to do well. Even somebody that looks like a slapped arse. God bless her. It's like, 'You go girl'. She does look like a hairy arsehole. She is a lovely lady. You just want to say 'god bless' and here's a Gillette razor."

If SuBo really looked like a hairy asshole, Tommy Girl's tongue would be permanently attached to her cheek.

But seriously, Sharon is like that cunty old aunt who tells you that you've got pregnant calves and armpits that look like a Shar Pei's cooch. Sharon isn't coming a mean place. Okay, maybe she is, but you still laughed. So you're an accessory to her bitchiness.

And FYI, here's what Sharon looked like BPS (before plastic surgery):

Pebbles the cat just fell in love for the second time.

Glamberace's sparkly jizz hasn't even finished drying on Derek LaBry's chest, and he's already got himself a new piece. Earlier this week, Glamberace confirmed that he's no longer skipping through the clouds with Derek, because he needs to focus on his album. Well, Glamberace must have found time to focus on something else too: another dude's wang.

A source tells Star Magazine that the extra-terrestrial unicorn is getting a little closer to singer/songwriter Ferras Alqaisi. The source went on to yap, "They have a lot in common, so I'm not surprised Adam started falling for him. Adam really dropped a bomb on Drake; I don't think he suspected a thing!"

Oh, it happens. Sometimes the only way to get the taste of your ex's peen out of your mouth is to gargle with a different peen. This is probably just a Listerine fuck and nothing more.

Whenever Mimi gets the chance to run around like a horny butterfly with her Hello Titties and unicorn cutlets hanging out, she's going to take it. And why shouldn't she?! You've only got one life, so you might as well spend it flashing your two-piece and a biscuit at everyone.

Here's more of Mimi working it in a couple of stripper onesies while shooting the video for her new single H.A.T.E.U. If Venus had to work the morning shift at a truck stop titty bar, she'd look just like this.

In this week's InTouch, The Real Housewives of Atlanta's Kim Zolciak goes SAN FARDS by pulling her wig back and removing 5 of the 12 layers of make-up on her face. Even when Kim is stripped down, she's still as natural as polyester.

Anyretardyfortheparty, Kim spoke to InTouch about her natural hair, plastic surgery and how Botox cured her migraines:

Kim on how she's changed over the years: "I have black hair naturally, but my mom's a hairdresser, so I've been blond gradually since 16, 17 and on. I was always a thick build. I had braces."

Kim on how she's made of mostly artificial materials: "I just don’t think there’s anything wrong with it. Some cosmetic enhancement is obvious. A lot of times, the people who aren’t talking about it are the ones who look horrible. I do Botox. I’ve had my boobs done twice. I started getting Botox when I was 25 for migraines. I recommend that to anybody. And VelaShape. I don’t know if it shrinks you, but it keeps you tone and taut."

Kim on going under the knife again: "When I’m done having children, I’d be all for a tummy tuck. I would love a nose job, but I’m scared. I would do just about anything to maintain myself."

So, let's go over everything. Kim has already said that she wears a wig made out of Barbie's pubic hair because her hair was falling out due to a thyroid condition. Now she's saying that she uses Botox for her migraines. I've heard this before, but you know that's not why Kim is getting injected with the Kidman sauce.

I'm waiting for Kim to claim that she only has fake titties because she suffers from Tachycardia and her doctor said that breast implants will slow down her rapid-beating heart.

And did Kim hint that she isn't done having kids? HURRY! Get her daughter Brielle on the phone, and tell her to start lacing Kim's botox with birth control pills.