Everyone knows that LiLo would empty a donation basket in her purse at Sunday mass, so I don't know why bitches keep inviting her to events at their stores. That's just asking to be cleaned out.
Pop Tarts says that when LiLo was paid to attend the launch of Jermaine Dupri and jewelry designer Pascal Mouawad's watch line at Kitson, she wanted a whole lot more than just a complimentary glass of champagne. Apparently, Pascal already promised her ass $500 worth of Kitson merchandise. When she complained that it wasn't enough, he upped it to $1,000.
After Hurricane Crackhead blew through the store and grabbed a bunch of shit, her bill came to almost $15,000. LiLo simply said that Pascal would cover the entire amount, because she was the only celebrity who attended his event. A source added, “Pascal said no, so she went and started talking smack about him to Jermaine Dupri who doesn’t even know her. He was totally bewildered and couldn’t believe it. Eventually Pascal said she could have $2000 to spend but that was the absolutely limit.”
When Pascal refused to cover the full bill, LiLo told one of the Kitson employees that they should give her the rest of the shit for free, because she's always been a loyal customer. She promised she would let the paparazzi take pictures of her holding Kitson bags.
In the end, LiLo was told "NO," because the employees couldn't get a hold of the owner of Kitson. She stormed out with her $2,000 worth of crap.
Hey, LiLo went from $500 to $2,000, so not all was lost. The next time I go to Tijuana (the home of wheeling and dealing), I'm taking this wreck with me. She can probably get a child to give up his box of chiclas and empty out his pockets to her. Bitch is a RUTHLESS bargainer.
And imagine her bargaining with her dealer? "If you give me this 8-ball for free, I promise to be photographed looking like a total gutter troll. I'm promoting your product!"
Why would I not be surprised if Joe Jackson was caught on Michael Jackson's coffin trying to rip the diamond fillings (you know he had some) out of his teeth? Joe was already shut down by a judge after he tried to get a piece of MJ's estate. But Joe is trying to show the judge who the real pimp is, because he's challenging the court's decision.
Obviously, Joe Jackson is just pulling this evil shit, because he wants Satan to give up his title as the ruler of Hell to him. Joe wouldn't have shame if it crawled up his dick hole and took a nap. Joe's pimp hand always gets the last smack!
A river of popped cherry juice and panty pudding flowed through the streets of Westwood, CA last night during the New Moon premiere. If you live in the area, you might have been wondering why your cats were howling and your dogs were meowing. Well, now you know.
You know what bothers me about kids today? They have no RESPECT for the English language. For instance, look at how that girl in the picture above completely butchered a gorgeous curse word. How do we expect our youth to be the leaders of tomorrow if they can't even curse right? I mean, what the hell is a SHIZNIT? That sounds like something you'd find on the tip of a dick after messy butt sex.
Anyway, here's some pictures from last night's premiere. Some hos were obviously only there for the free photo-op. They are: Shar Jackson, Mary Murphy, 50 Cent, Richie Sambora (with his daughter) and JLove with that Jamie Kennedy dude.
Also at the premiere were Joan Jett (to hold Kristen Stewart's "hand"), one of the wolfies, that hot piece from Glee, the Glee kids, Stephanie Meyer (the bitch responsible for all of this), a homeless man in a fancy suit, Dakota Fanning, Kristen Stewart and Taylor Lautner.
While you're sitting in your cubicle today and praying to the gods for a permanently hard dick and/or a fully packed bong to fall in your lap, say an extra prayer for Charo. Charo is BROKEN! Seeing Charo limp through Beverly Hills yesterday makes me want to slap a Gopher!
This means that Charo can't fully thrust her crotch bone and flex her chesticles. Sad. If Charo can't coochie coochie coo, your own coochie isn't going to even bother getting out of bed anymore. And if your coochie stops coo-ing, what's the point of anything?
If Derek Blanks shot an Alter Ego-inspired commercial for Nerf, it would look just like Beyonce and Lady CaCa's "Video Phone" video. And it's not a coincidence that at the beginning of this shit Beyonce looks like NeNe Leakes channeling her inner Alien Princess RiRi.
The wig stores are going to be working overtime this week, because the Glittery Gays of YouTube will be storming their shops to buy up their entire inventory in order to recreate this mess. Beyonce used all of the wigs (i.e. homegirl Bettie Paige, Double Trouble, etc...) in her archive!
And now I know why Lady CaCa (aka Zombie Donatella Versace) always runs around wearing bird cages on her face and half of Michael's craft department on her head. But I will give it up for her tuck game. Bitch finally shoved her junk between her ass cheeks and commanded it to stay. Well done!
The redesigned Ed Hardy fashion line, keeping the essence of its clientele in mind. - OurMissC
Rumor has it, Michelle accidentally bumped into Jim Bob in the checkout line of a Best Buy and #20 was conceived. - vermonster
First known case of the Dick Flu. - Not_That_Steph_The_Other_Steph
Not to be outdone by Playgirl's Levi Johnston issue, Playboy releases a sneak peek at their Aretha Franklin and Lady Caca spread. - ndawgg
via Picture is Unrelated (Thanks Jackie)
Linda Purl- Linda is best known for playing Matlock's daughter Charlene in the first season of Matlock. But Linda also has a zillion other credits to her legendary name! Linda not only played Foznie's girlfriend on Happy Days, but she was also Richie's part-time lover during season 2. Linda was the tramp of Milwaukee!
Most recently, Linda played Pam's mother on The Office. AND she was married to Desi Arnaz Jr. for a quick minute. The woman has done it all!
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