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Yes Becks, We All See It
Do Alien Princess RiRi, Woody Woodpecker and Becks all have the same hair butcher? All signs point to: YES!
Becks debuted his brand new "Attack of the Flowbee" haircut during an L.A. Galaxy game last night in Carson, CA. I don't know whether I want to give his new haircut a cracker or release it into a bird sanctuary. OR BOTH.
Obviously, there's only one way to fix this. Becks has to walk through life totally topless. Only his nipples can distract from that maimed cockatoo on his head.
That being said, I'd still scoot on that mess.
Open Post: Hosted By The Jacob Black Barbie
Did Nick Lachey ever has his own doll? Because if he did, it probably looked just like this highly inappropriate (copyright: Carrie Prejean) and unintentionally hilarious Jacob Black doll courtesy of Mattel. Twitards will be able to cuddle with this thing in February for $24.95.
If for some bizarre reason Mattel can't sell this doll, they can tweak it a bit and sell it as "90s Circuit Boy Blaine." Circuit Boy Blaine can work as Palm Beach Sugar Daddy Ken's pool boy.
via Jezebel
There's No Crying In Mug Shot Taking
This is 21-year-old Sean Sexton of Phoenix, Arizona. Sean is "crying for mommy" with his eyes in this mug shot, because he just got arrested for acting the fool outside of a check cashing place. The police were called after Sean starting shooting out the store's windows with an Airshot rifle, causing nearly $15,000 worth of damages.
Okay, I know how the hos at the check cashing place make you want to shoot a bitch, because of their judgmental eye rolls, but DAMN! It's called "smoke a bowl and bite a dick."
When the police arrived, Ramboohoo tried to be all tough and shit by shooting at them with the Airshot rifle. They realized it was an air rifle, so they didn't shoot back. Sean was arrested and booked on suspicion of aggravated assault and felony criminal damage.
If Sean is weeping like me after finding out Footballers Wives got canceled in his mug shot, can you imagine the kind of emotions that swept through his body when he was thrown in a jail cell with a bunch of chicken-loving criminals?
Source: Tabloid Prodigy via Buzzfeed
From One Mess To Another
Over at Page Six, they are saying that Lindsay Lohan fled Brittny Gastineau's birthday party after her ex partner in pussy, Courtenay "Nay Nay" Semel, begged her to go to rehab. Maybe LiLo left for a minute to go find an extra vowel for her name so that she could fit in with the rest of them. She should've just asked Brittny if she could borrow the "E" she's not using. That way she could be Lindesay Lohan. Oh well. BUT SERIOUSLY.....
A source said that Nay Nay, who just graduated from rehab, confronted LiLo about getting help. It did not go well, and LiLo ran out of the joint in tears. The source went on to say, "Everyone was trying to keep them apart, especially since Courtenay is recently out of rehab and has pleaded with Lindsay to do the same. Everything was fine for a while, and Lindsay seemed happy, but then there was a confrontation when she came out of the bathroom, and she ran out in tears. Everyone fears she's on some kind of self-destructive collision course."
I'd probably be in tears too if I was reminded that I was once played Nay Nay's clitoris like a harmonica. And if you have no idea who Nay Nay is, GOOGLE HER, you dumb fuck!
Is SPF Holding A Gigantic Cheeto?!
While us mere mortals feast on the regular-sized Cheetos, Brit Brit's royal Cheetolings nibble on majestic Cheetos from the processed foods GODS! SPF's potato-sized Cheeto is not to be confused with Cheetos Giant. That shit is child's play for SPF. Well, since he's a child, I guess that would mean it's fetus play for him.
Anyway, here's Brit Brit looking sophisticated and glamorous in the best fashions Big Lots has to offer while strolling around in Sydney, Australia with her Cheetolings and her bought-and-paid escort.
You know, upon further inspection of SPF's giant Cheeto, it looks kind of plastic. Oh Cheesus. Don't say it's a Cheeto dildo. DON'T! I would hope that Brit Brit keeps that locked up.
DJ AM's Estate Files A Wrongful Death Lawsuit
DJ AM's estate believes that if he was never in a plane crash, he would've turned to the bad shit again and he would've never passed away. They believe it so much that they have filed a lawsuit against the charter company responsible for the September 2008 plane crash, which killed everyone on board except for AM and Travis Barker. Shit just got rea- Oh, I'll stop. It was already really real real.
In the papers filed in L.A. Superior Court, AM's estate says that he was sober and living clean before the crash. After the crash, he was forced to start taking pills to help him deal with anxiety and the pain from his injuries. They state that the "crash ultimately caused DJ AM's death."
DJ AM died this past August from an overdose of various prescription drugs as well as cocaine.
Before he passed away, AM already filed a lawsuit against Clay Lacy Aviation, Global Exec Aviation, Inter Travel and Services, Goodyear Tire, LearJet and the estate of the two pilots killed in the crash.
Source: E! Online
Hot Slut Of The Day!
Robin Maxwell's lizard baby from the original V as played by Marc Anthony. No, I made that last part up.
Since the new V is taking TV by STORM (not really), we should pay homage to the breakout star of the original: Robin's lizard puppet baby! Those magnetic cross-eyes! Those Posh Spice nostrils! Those teefs that Kate Moss would die for! A STAR WAS BORN! Unfortunately, lizard baby's time onscreen was short lived. But its performance lives on forever:
(For Dwight)
Birthday Sluts
Travis Barker (34)
Lil Boosie (26)
Olga Kurylenko (30)
Obie Trice (32)
Josh Duhamel (37)
Janine Lindemulder (41)
Nina Gordon (42)
Patrick Warburton (45)
Rev Run (45)
Laura San Giacomo (47)
Harland Williams (47)
Letitia Dean (47)
D.B. Sweeney (48)
Yanni (55)
Gale Edwards (55)
Condoleezza Rice (55)
Yimou Zhang (58)
Prince Charles (61)

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