Once again, here's Kunty Karl on why some bitches are calling for a ban on "size zero" models:
"No one wants to see curvy women. You've got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying thin models are ugly. Fashion is about dreams and illusions."
Whenever I read a cunt-covered quote from our Uncle Karl, I immediately bring up a picture of Fat Karl. Not only does it massage my soul like a Vicodin pill dipped in vodka, but it also reminds me why this former fatty hates the BBWs so much. Karl would love to be sitting in front of the television eating chips, but if he wants to stay as svelte as a century-old corpse, he can only feed on the tears from his models and freshly grown pubic hair. Karl is just HONGRAY.
This Actor who seems fairly open minded and educated, was heard using prejudiced language and homophobic slurs when drunk at bar with some friends. We wonder what his gay co-stars would think of that? Not any television actors. (BuzzFoto via Blind Gossip)
I'll say Mickey Rourke, just because he was caught on camera explaining why he uses the "other f" word so much. And in my circle, being able to name all the different brands of whiskey counts as educated! This still makes Loki sad.
This openly gay actor has been in a committed relationship for YEARS, but he’s been having a secret affair for several months with a toy boy half his age. It’s his personal trainer. To complicate matters, this actor and his partner decided to adopt a baby, and now the partner is pushing to hurry things up. The trainer is freaking out because he hoped the actor would leave the partner for HIM! What will our gay actor DO? (Janet Charlton)
Who is DoMe Howser (aka Neil Patrick Harris)?
While Padma Lakshmi was busy licking herself, the contestants on Top Chef Las Vegas were asked: “What’s the most annoying thing a customer’s ever asked for/ordered?” Kevin Gillespie, Executive Chef and Partner at Woodfire Grill in Atlanta, replied: “We had a famous musician demand that we not make contact, address her directly, or engage her in any way. We told her that once she could go out to dinner like normal people, should could eat at our restaurant.” Who is the famous musician Kevin was talking about? (Blind Gossip)
The word "musician" is used here, so obviously this is Kim Zolciak. My other guesses are Mimi, JLo or Vadge?
This C+/B- movie actor (Canadian) has been in his share of big movies and is currently filming what is expected to be huge by the studios but I'm not sure the public will agree. Anyway, our actor has already caused drama on the set by doing coke almost constantly and having production assistants deliver strippers to his trailer. Oh, our actor is being joined in all of this with the parent of his C list movie actress co-star. (Not Canadian) (CDAN)
Seth Rogen who is shooting The Green Hornet with Cameron Diaz? Or Shawn Ashmore who is doing a movie with Jaime King?
This is a Canadian actress who is B list because of a very hit show she was on. She is currently filming another show where she and her much older co-star are having a fling. No big deal in Hollywood although it will probably wreck the long term marriage of her co-star. (CDAN)
Elisha Cuthbert and some pepaw?
Birthday: July 19, 1960
Birth Name: Francine Lons
Original Date of HS of the Day: October 7, 2009
Claim to Fame: Frankie is a crackhead turned jail bird turned breakout reality star. Frankie first became the bowl in my pipe on her daughter's reality show: Keyshia Cole: The Way It Is. Keyshia decided she wanted to distance herself from the fuckery, so BET gave Frankie her own show with her other daughter Neffie.
Where is she now? Last night, Frankie worked the red carpet at the BET Hip Hop Awards (above) wearing dentures made out of Reynolds Wrap and a wig Frankie is also working on a perfume called "HOLLA" and a shoe line called "CODE 10." Lisa Wu Hartwell isn't the only serious business woman in Atlanta.
Why is she Hot Slut of the Week? Because of shit like this:
Sasha Fierce must be leasing out her look to Shakira. Blame the economy.- Hollywood Tuna
Kellan Lutz should just move into the gym already - Popsugar
More of Susan Sarandon's daughter baring her titty balls in Californication. David Duchovny still hasn't recovered - Egotastic!
Yankee games just got a lot more boring for the wives - Lainey Gossip
After this picture was taken, Vadge bit the skin off of Penny's hand and stored it in her cheeks to use another day - Just Jared
Nick Zano with his nipples out might be the only good reason to watch Cougartown - Towleroad
Did the new version of Photoshop come out, because Tara Reid is doing Playboy - Superior Gossip
Rod Stewart is just a wee little thing (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather
This puppy has better moves than anyone on Dancing with the Has-Beens - Cityrag
Kourtney Kardashian should be real for once and name her baby boy Publicity Stunt (PS for short) - Celebitchy
The government might call it even if Nicolas Cage agrees to never make a sequel to Bangkok Dangerous - ICYDK
Lily Allen's twatter is too busy to Twitter - Holy Moly!
Kissing cousins - SOW
Cher, you're a virgin who can POOP - I'm Not Obsessed
Fuggie Fug's cholita name was probably "La Pissy Pants" - Popeater
Dita Von Teese looks hot - Popbytes
The Hello Kitty Butterfly Princess is making gay dreams come true - Socialite Life
Pamela Anderson wearing a bedspread that got tangled up in the dryer - Hollywood Rag
Also, Happy Columbus Day (whatever that means), Americans! And Happy Monday to everybody else.
There's really only one way to celebrate Thanksgiving/Columbus Day/Monday and that's with a heaping serving of Wanda's special 7,000-calorie macaroni salad! Yes, Memaw Ruth (see below) told us to stay away from greens, but I'm sure she would be okay with this "instant diabetes in a bowl." Besides, all of the sugar, condensed milk, mayo and vinegar probably sucks all the nutritional value out of the vegetables.
Wanda's recipe is almost perfect. When I make this tonight, I'm going to cover it in 8 cups of cheese, throw it in my Fry Daddy and serve it with a glass of butter juice. The Paula Deen way!
100-year-old Ruth Frith proved that great memaws still know how to handle a heavy ball. At yesterday's World Masters Games in Sydney, Ruth won the gold medal in shot put after she threw the ball 4.07m. Ruth, who was the oldest chick at the games, was the only one to compete in the women's 100 to 104 aged shot-put, but she still threw that ball like it belonged to Jon Gosselin. Ruth said, "I only had to turn up to win the medal, but that wasn't going to be good enough for me. I had to show everyone that I could still do it."
In order to get her bones ready for the event, Ruth bench pressed 35k weights 5 days a week. Ruth doesn't let any of the sweet nectar pass her lips and she stays away from ciggies. Ruth also puts up a stop sign when it comes to vegetables. When asked what her secret to staying so active is, Ruth said, "Don't eat vegetables, because I never eat vegetables. I know people that like diets that will scream at me, (but) don't eat vegetables. I never have."
Not only is Ruth an expert ball-thrower, but she's also the wisest person I know through the internet. I've been trying to find a reason for becoming a sugartarian, and now I have finally found it! When my doctor asks me why my skin is grey, I will tell him that Memaw Ruth has advised me keep all vegetables away from my plate. The only green thing I need goes in a bong. Memaw Ruth for Queen of the Wooooorld!
Lift up your shirt, and raise your tittays up in the air for Christina Hendricks (aka Joan from Mad Men)! Christina married fellow actor Geoffrey Arend at Il Buco restaurant in NYC yesterday. The two got engaged earlier this year.
When the officiant asked Geoffrey to give his vows, he probably started slobbering at the mouth and mumbled something about mammaries. The same thing happens to me too. Shit, I've had to re-write this post a dozen times, because all I want to write is: CHICHICHICHICHICHICHICHIIIIIS.
In all seriousness, congrats to Christina and the hobo she married. While the back of Christina's dress looks like origami gone wrong, her breasts of wonder look absolutely amazing as always.
Last January, Chelsy Davy had a temporary case of dumbbitch-itis which caused her to dump Prince Hot Ginge. Well, it seems that Chelsy is clear in the head again, because she's back to getting a dose of the ginge in the morning, noon and night.
The Sun says that Hot Ginge and Chelsy are officially back on after being photographed leaving some bar together over the weekend. Witnesses say that the two acted like they have the tingles for one another, "Harry and Chelsy looked very much like a couple. Harry was a real gentleman, making sure Chelsy was sat in the car before they shot off. They appeared to have quite a low-key night by their standards."
I know I should have a Chelsy Davy voodoo doll in my closet, but I've always liked her ass. Chelsy looks like the kind of bitch who can down a Bud Light in ten seconds flat while jiggling her bits to a Warrant song. My kind. So I hope she clamps onto Harry's ginge stick and doesn't let go. In the wise words of RuPaul: "Don't fuck it up, Chelsy."
Start digging my grave and polishing my coffin made out of lucite, because I think I'm about to drop the fuck dead! TMZ gave me a serious case of the vapors by announcing that a Shauna Sand sex tape is about to hit the world! It's going to be the Sistine Chapel of sex tapes! HOLY LUCITE!
On October 19th, the second coming of Jesus (HELL, HERE I COME!) will arrive in the form of a sex tape starring The Empress of Lucite and her current boyfriend. Vivid Entertainment will put it out, but Shauna is trying to stop it from seeing the light of day. Shauna issued this statement:
"Yes I did make a sex tape with my boyfriend earlier this year. In fact I've made several sex tapes, but I certainly didn't sign off on this and Vivid has no right to put it out. I am trying to get a hold of my attorney now."
Shauna knows that the world cannot handle seeing her in all her glory! I mean, imagine Shauna doing sexy times while wearing a pair of exquisite heels. It will cause mass hysteria! Souls will explode, genitals will burst and millions of pairs of exquisite lucite heels will melt! The Empress of Lucite cares about mankind and she's trying to protect us!
Just thinking about it is giving me heart, soul and no-no palpitations.
IMPORTANT UPDATE: And now there's a trailer. I had to watch it with a defibrillator pad up my ass, because it was almost too much for me to bear. (Not safe for those with a weak heart) Click here to see it. And in case you're wondering why it looks so professionally lit, it's because the light from Shauna Sand's lucite oyster shines bright!
Stock in red lipstick will DROP! Yesterday in Los Angeles, Xtina wasn't wearing any red grease on her mouth lips while picking out a pumpkin with her family. She looks so.....natural and naked. It's like catching your auntie with no clothes on. It makes me feel uncomfortable and a little scared. Tubes of red lipstick are weeping!
However, it was smart of Xtina to wipe off the layers of orange from her mug before she went to the pumpkin patch. Because if she didn't, she'd end up in some family's window sill with a candle in her mouth.