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I love Diddy's fucked up video rants, but this one is better viewed with your eyes closed. Diddy spinning the camera around isn't doing my hangover any favors. While watching this shit, I kept stomping my leg down thinking I was on a playground spinner.

In his newest video, Diddy doesn't understand why John McCain chose the chick from Alaska as his running mate. According to Diddy, there is nothing going on in Alaska. Diddy isn't even sure if there are any black people or crackheads living in Alaska.

Somewhere in Alaska there's a black guy and a cracked out polar bear, sitting in an igloo, crying icy tears over the fact that the almighty Diddy doesn't know they're alive.

Deborah Lin is my favorite ho of the day! The 40-year-old "former model" married 46-year-old James Gandolfini in her hometown of Honolulu, Hawaii yesterday. The gold diggers are taking over the world. Watch out BABIES!!!

Okay, Deborah might not be a gold digger, but would you marry Tony Soprano if he didn't have money coming out of his chunky ass? Answer me that!

The two became engaged late 2007 after going public with their relationship earlier in the year.

The wedding was attended by a bunch of hos. Deborah was a dress. James wore a tuxedo. They ate cake and they danced. Typical wedding shit. A witness told People, "It was amazing. James ate the whole fucking cake in one gulp! I've never seen anything like that before." No, the witness said, "There was a nice big kiss at the end with both hands on the cheeks. They looked great."

Well done, Deborah! Although, she's working hard for that money! Her arms must be sore as fuck from having to hold up James' FOPA while riding his willy all the time.

Everybody and their pet fish has been e-mailing me this story, so obviously that's a sign that I must post it. This is basically some Bree Van de Kamp shit. Alaska Governor Sarah Palin, the chick who is running as McCain's VP, is being accused of faking one of her pregnancies. The Daily Kos thinks Sarah's teenage daughter, Bristol, is the real mother of Trig Paxton Van Palin.

Yes, Bristol and Trig. Sarah also has three other kids named Track, Willow and Piper. I think they were named after Pottery Barn candle scents.

Anydrama, the rumor is that Sarah, a pro-lifer, pretended to be pregnant while her then 16-year-old daughter was the one who was really carrying baby Trig. Escandalo! Here's some of the shit the Daily Kos is claiming:

In March, Sarah told everyone she was 7-months pregnant. Everyone including her staff said they were shocked to find out, because she didn't look pregnant to them. They also said she's always been thin, because she's a runner or some shit.

Sarah's 16-year-old daughter Bristol was taken out of her high school for 5 to 8 months. The high school was told Bristol had mono.

While attending some Republican convention in Texas, Sarah began leaking amniotic fluid one month before her due date. She didn't check into the hospital. She gave her speech and then got on an 8-hour flight back to Alaska.

Sarah gave birth in a hospital 45-minutes from the airport. Trig, who was born with Down Syndrome, was one month premature. Sarah was back to work 3 days later.

I left out of a ton of details. Visit here, here and here if you give an eff. On the other side, there are a few pictures with Sarah sort of looking knocked up. Gawker also has a post claiming Bristol was in a car accident when she would have been seven months pregnant. The dude involved in the accident with Bristol said she "really didn't look pregnant," but he wasn't really staring at her belly.

I'm so confused. Maybe I'm the one who gave birth to baby Trig. Shit, maybe I'm the father. Maury! Please help us! It's the only way we can solve any of this. Bring them all on a very special episode of "The Maury Povich" show. I want Cindy McCain to read the DNA results though. That's if she can read it through her Vicodin haze. I also want Tina Fey and Megan Mullally to appear on the episode just so I can see them next to Sarah Palin.

Megyn Kelly from Fox News - During Joe Biden's VP acceptance speech on Wednesday night most of the crowd was cheering for his ass or at least watching him. Not Megyn! She was busy refining her gorgeousness and perfecting her Aqua Net nest. Excuse her beauty! Clip below:

VIA HorseAss

Richard Gere (59)
Jeff Hardy (31)
Sara Ramirez (33)
Chris Tucker (36)
Debbie Gibson (38)
Queen Rania of Jordan (38)
Gina Schock (51)
Julie Brown (54)
Marcia Clark (55)
Van Morrison (63)

First things first, that man in the left corner is watching you! He sees you, so you better not do anything shifty. Okay, we've all been warned.

Halle Berry never whored out her baby on the cover of any magazines. Imagine that! A celebrity not making a quick buck off their kid. She also didn't release any pictures of Lion King Baby aka Nahla Ariela, so this is the first time I've really seen her. You know how I feel about BABIES!!! They give me the shakes, because I know they are soon going to be our world leaders. But Nahla is pretty adorable. Her eyes are like two little stars sparkling in the ocean's reflection. I can't believe I just wrote that sentence. No, I'm not high.

Here's Halle, Baby Nahla, a bodyguard-type person and Mia Michaels at the L.A. Zoo today. No! That's not Mia Michaels. It's Halle's mother. I seriously thought for a minute that Halle's mommy was everyone's favorite deep-thinking gayelle dance choreographer. I thought to myself, "Damn. Halle is going the gayelle way. I mean, it is the way to go."

The organizers of the Rock En Seine in Paris booked the infamous Crackie of Camden for their festival and seemed to think she was going to show up. HA! Cue the cackle track. Well, Amy Wino cancelled two hours before she was supposed to take the stage and shake her heroin maker for the crowd. Hey, at least she called!

The event's organizers are fucking pissed and threatening to sue her ass. They issued this statement: "We were told by Winehouse's agent at 8pm that she would not be there, and we were forced to cancel the performance. We have still not been given any explanation of the exact reasons for her absence."

Wino's spokeswhore told the Daily Mail that she was too sick to perform. "Amy Winehouse is currently at home recovering. The illness is nothing serious, nothing that some time in bed and not singing won't cure."

Yeah, I'm sure she just had a bad case of crackiellitis. Screaming "Blaaaaaaake" all the time in between puffs can really fuck up a beautiful hummingbird's voice.

Chad Johnson, wide receiver for the Cincinnati Bengals, has legally changed his last name to Chad Javon Ocho Cinco. Chad gave himself the nickname of "Ocho Cinco" two years ago in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month. 85 is also his number. Ocho Cinco means 8-5 in Spanish. Duh.

Not everyone is down with the name Ochoc Cinco. One time before a game, Chad put his nickname on the back of his uniform. The team's quarterback tore that shit down. Damn. What did Chat put it on with? Elmer's? The team's coach has also referred to Chad as “Ocho Psycho."

When asked about why he legally changed his name, Ocho said, “It’s something I don’t think anyone has ever done before. Have I ever had a reason for why I do what I do? I’m having fun.”

I'm sure the numbers 8-5 mean a lot more to Ocho than we think. 8 is his IQ. 5-inches is the size of his dick fully erect. 85 is also the number of times he was dropped on his head as a child. See!

Although, I shouldn't hate on Ocho. Chad Ocho Cinco sounds much sexier than Chad Johnson. I should change my name to Michael Seis Nueve. It has a nice ring to it. Is the official name changing office open on Saturdays?

Source

Thanks Isabelle

Tyson Beckford has a body built for fuckey times and a pubey bush built for a petting zoo. Seriously! While slobbering over these pictures of Tyson at some party in Australia last night, I didn't expect to see an extra large deep dish fur pie! I thought models regularly tended to their bushes. And his furburger looks so soft! Soft and silky. It looks like Spaghetti Cat (see below) is sitting in his lap.

I don't even need to state the obvious. Of course I'd "you know what" it. That bitch is a hot piece. I don't give an eff if it would be like sucking on a furball. It would be like cashmere on my tongue. I got the "pull the pubic hair out of my mouth" move down pat.

Below are some uncensored pictures of Tyson's mega bush. It's possibly a little NSFWey.

Last night, Spaghetti Cat returned to the place that made him an Internet superstar sensation, "The Soup." Okay, it wasn't the actual Spaghetti Cat. It was some stuffed animal with beady marble eyes, but if you hug yourself hard enough while watching the clip, you will believe it's the real Spaghetti Cat.

I am so obsessed with Spaghetti Cat that I tried to get my dumb bitch of a dog to eat with a fork, but he bit my hand instead. He doesn't have the skills (or Ketamine) that Spaghetti Cat has!

Spaghetti Cat still doesn't get enough attention! He should host the presidential debate! Naw. Maybe that's not such a good idea. Dubya would probably show up to try and kiss Spaghetti Cat and steal some of his noodles. Only Joel McHale can kiss Spaghetti Cat.

Spaghetti Cat will dance on a plate of naked spaghetti noodles in my dreams tonight.