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Brit Brit Spears has never loved a tool the way that she's loved KFed and Daddy Spears knows this. That's why he's offered KFed $4.5 million to remarry Brit so says Star Magazine.

A source said that Daddy Spears has been trying to get KFed back in Brit's life for a long ass time now. He's been in negotiations with KFed while keeping it from Brit.

The source went on to say that Daddy's latest offer to KFed is $4.5 million. I hope he's not dipping into Brit's frapp fund. That wouldn't be funny. The source said, “His latest offer is $4.5 million in cash and a trust account set up with another $5 million if Kevin moves back in with Britney within a year. If they actually remarry, Jamie will add another $5 million to Kevin’s account.”

KFed is playing hard ball and he wants $20 million and refuses to sign a prenup when they remarry. That KFed. Once a whore always a whore.

This is obviously a bunch of lie-telling. I mean, you know KFed would remarry her ass for a year supply of XXL Fruit of the Loom white t-shirts and a $100 gift certificate to Dave & Buster's. It doesn't take much.

If Daddy Spears is willing to spend that kind of cash, he should hire the best. I'm talking about Sarah Larson. The ho doesn't have a client right now and she'll never leave Brit Brit. Seriously, you can program her to do whatever you want. She can probably make frapps and homemade Cheetos. Homemade Cheetos!

Thanks Dreamy

Yup, Landon Brown lifting up his shirt is all it takes for me to ignore that douche ensemble he's wearing. He looks like he's wearing plaid bloomers, but who gives a fuck! He's hot. Anyway, Bobby Brown's older son is claiming that he had an intimate bathroom moment with HoHan at a private party wo years ago. Seriously, who hasn't done sexy times with HoHan in a bathroom? I'm sure we all have at one point or another.

Landon said, "Me and Lindsay got really, really close. She followed me to the bathroom during a private party, and, well, we basically got together. I think she knew who I was when she first saw me. We were just staring at each other and she waked by. I walked into the bathroom and she followed me in." Knew who he was?! I barely know who this bitch is thanks to "Rock the Cradle."

The two dated for a while after that, but it ended for no specific reason, "It didn't end badly, but it did end weird. I'm actually trying to get back in touch with her - really soon."

Sorry, Landon. HoHan doesn't speak dick anymore.

Source

These two little love beavers always look so happy together. They almost make me want to try vagina again, but I'll stick to salchicha. It's what I know.

And to think, I thought SamRo was a natural blonde (I'm joking). She had me fooled. Linds really needs to take her to get that root situation figured out in between munch parties.

In other HoHan news, she finally got insured for her movie, "Labor Pains." A source told Rush & Molloy that producers kept getting turned down by insurers. The source said that the producer "could only find one insurance company to cover her, and even then he really had to vouch for her."

She's totally insured by Survival. "SamRo can take that ride."

It was the cunts of NYC vs. the cunts of O.C. at Bravo's A-List Awards the other night in NYC.

Bethenny of NYC told People that it started while they were all going over the script. Bethenny said, “They [The O.C. Housewives] said in our material that my apartment is a two-by-four, and it’s actually a one-by-two, and so I can take it, I don’t care. But they’re offended that I’m saying something about them living 65 miles from the beach. Jeana said, ‘I don’t think that’s funny.’”

When they got backstage, it went down. Tamra from O.C. claims Bethenny went at her ass, “Bethenny scratched me a little bit. I swear to god. She tried to get me from behind and I put my arm up, and she scratched me. I covered it with makeup." Tamra's lying. Her skin just went back to normal because she's made out of plastic.

Bethenny denied the catfight, but said, “Give me a can of hairspray and a match, and I’ll take care of that in the dressing room later.” To which Tamra responded, “The Housewives of the O.C. can kick the Housewives of N.Y.C.’s ass!"

Their children must be so proud. These are 85-year-old women for fucks sake! Ok, maybe they aren't 85, but close too it. If you're going to fight, don't scratch! Shank a bitch and then kick her in the snatch bone.

I'm on neither of their teams. I'm on "Team Get This Shit On Video Next Time."

Prince Hot Ginge is killing me softly. The other day he was photographed in a tux and now he's holding a baby. He's giving me a sign. He's ready to get married and start a family. I'm coooooming Hot Ginge!!!

Just wait one second. In the first thumbnail below, is he telling us how big his carrot stick is? Oh, eff that! That's a deal breaker right there.

Here's Prince Hot Ginge touring University Hospital in Cardiff, Wales.

Ryan Phillipe & Abbie Cornish or Asparagus & Mayo?

You know, dumb whores always gross out when they see me eat asparagus with mayo. It's the only way I can eat it. I don't give a fuck if it's ghetto shit, it's delicious! I don't eat it with that fancy mayo either. I use Miracle Whip. The mayo still doesn't cover up the rank stench your pee produces from eating asparagus.

Anyway, Ryan Phillipe and that girl stepped out for the first time as a couple at last night's Australian in Film Breakthrough Awards. I didn't think it was possible to be more boring than Reese, but Abbie proved me wrong! Ryan was reportedly getting it on with bland Abbie while he was still with Reese.

People reports that the two were "canoodling' the entire night. A source said, "He had his arm around her and they were cozy and comfortable."

They look stoned. They probably are. It's the only way to keep themselves from falling asleep in each other's company.

In an attempt to win over more country music fans, Jessica Simpson dragged her annoying ass to the CMA Music Festival Block Party in Nashville last night. It might just be me, but she's looking a little on the knocked up side. It could just be desperation bloat.

Jess' cuntry single, "Come on Over," isn't doing that shitty on the country charts. It debuted at No. 41 on Billboard's country single charts.

Tony Romo was not with her last night. He was too busy digging a hole to Mongolia to escape Papa Joe. UsWeekly reports that one of the main reasons for Jess and Romo splitting last month had to do with Papa asking Romo to drop his manager. Papa Joe wants to handle Romo's career. I'm sure that's not all he wants to handle.

Papa also told Romo and Jess that he will broker a deal to sell their engagement and wedding information to a magazine the way he did with Asshole and Pete.

Papa defended himself by saying, “It’s unfair to criticize me for what every manager does for his or her clients. And in this business, where people can quickly turn on you, who better than a parent to be working for his children?"

Papa might have a point, but do all managers jack into their clients' panty drawers? I'm just asking!

Earlier, I posted about how Clint Eastwood said Spike Lee needs too "shut his face" after Spike said he was pissed off that Clint didn't feature any African American soldiers in a couple of his war movies.

Spike has responded to ABC News! Spike said, "First of all, the man is not my father and we're not on a plantation either."

Escandalo! You better duck. Clint is going to throw his caramel squares at Spike.

He went on to say, "He's a great director. He makes his films, I make my films. The thing about it though, I didn't personally attack him. And a comment like 'a guy like that should shut his face' -- come on Clint, come on. He sounds like an angry old man right there."

Angry old man? Yup, that sounds like Clint. What's Spike's point?

"If he wishes, I could assemble African-American men who fought at Iwo Jima and I'd like him to tell these guys that what they did was insignificant and they did not exist. I'm not making this up. I know history. I'm a student of history. And I know the history of Hollywood and its omission of the one million African-American men and women who contributed to WWII. Not everything was John Wayne, baby." YES! That's the way I like, Spike. Nice and dirty.

Spike finished with, "In his vision of Iwo Jima, Negro soldiers did not exist. Simple as that. I have a different version."

Seriously, these two parrots need to stop squawking and start brawling! If they don't want to take part in an oiled up cage fight, they can do a good old-fashioned dance off! I bet you Clint can make that ass clap like we were at the opera.

It's about that time to vote for May's Hot Slut of the Month and we've got a motley crew of skanks this time around. Chichis, cholas and pepaws! Here are your choices:

Alannah Currie - 80s new wave star turned taxidermy furniture designer.
Norma Stitz - All-natural beauty and record holder for having largest natural chichis on the planet.
Michelle Duggar - Owner of the Grand Canyon of vaginas. She's also a mother of 17 with her 18th on the way.
John Davidson - Game show host legend!
Sonia from Operacion Repo - Reality star and repo woman

Voting is in the sidebar to the right. The winning slut will be announced on Tuesday.

Janice Dickson's Dickinson's pooch couldn't take the crazy. He's in Tahiti with London - A Socialite's Life

Brit Brit's ass is going to break SPF's Escalade - Popsugar

Rupert Everett is "off" the US - IDLYITW

Kathy Griffin gives Al Roker a shitty lapdance (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

R.I.P. The Rock - Just Jared

Atomic Kitten in bikinis. I love these kiddie skanks - Hollywood Tuna

Josh Groban is a mellow pothead. Is there any other kind? - Cityrag

Mandy Moore and her man must go to the same colorist - Hollywood Rag

This is what SamRo gets to motorboat every night - Egotastic!