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The Edge was at the sea shore in the South of France today picking out rocks and being hot. Oh yeah, he was joined by that famous family everyone talks about. Not the entire family was there. Shiloh was busy in Paris planning her summer look. She can't be bothered with shit like picking rocks at the beach.

Angie Jo's dress is every shade of fug. It looks like it was made out of my abuelita's tablecloth collection. Wait, maybe that IS my abuelita's tablecloth collection. That thief! Does she have to steal everything? Damn. Now I know how Jenny Aniston feels.

Tommy Cruise never lets go of Katie. NEVER. He's either grasping her hand or holding her back. The bitch cannot keep his hands off of her. He might as well put a leash on her. Better yet, install LoJack in her ass. If Katie wasn't a robot, she would probably tell him to step the fuck off.

The twin aliens went to see "The Country Girl" on Broadway last night. Please. You know Tommy Girl really wanted to go see Xanadu. He totally knows all the steps and songs. I know I do. Well, I'm gay. We know these things.

Here's also some pics of TomKat with Suri boarding a helicopter earlier today. If Tommy wasn't busy trying to keep Katie from running away, he'd notice that Suri isn't wearing shoes. The precious robot is cold! Put some Uggs on those feetsies. Damn.

The search is over! The cover girl for Sport Illustrated: Swimsuit Edition 2009 has been found. It's pretty obvious that PP deserves the cover. Shit, they should devote the entire issue to her. They don't even have to shoot new pictures! They can use these. It will be their best-selling issue of all time and by "best-selling" I mean it will sell 2. I will buy one and PP will buy one.

Here's PP in Malibu yesterday with a man. How dare PP cheat on me with another gay! I was going to have chicken cutlets for dinner tonight, but I'm having fish instead! Betrayed!

Kanye West has responded to that little blog post he wrote the other day where he said Entertainment Weekly was "fucking trash" for rating his concert a B+. First of all, I love that Kanye wrote "fucking trash." Those two words belong together forever. So, here's Kanye's response:

Unfortunately for certain media outlets, you will never be able 2 'Michael Jackson' me. That means 2 make it seem like everything I do is so weird or out of place... they always try 2 make it seem like everything is about my ego! That joke is getting old. At a certain point you have 2 respect that I'm one of the last artist that still cares about the fans having the best time of there lives! Thanks 2 Bossip and Perez for taking it easy on me on the EW spaz... I did go in a little 2 much on that one. I'm sure there are some cool people who work over there and had nothing 2 do with that review. With all that said.... "I'm still the greatest!!!" lol!! Oh and I was in the studio with T.I. last night.... so get ready!!!

How can I respect Kanye when he can't even type out t-o and t-o-o? That's the question! Oh that Kanye! As the wise Danny Noriega would say, "He's too much to handle." It's more like, "He's 2 much to 2 handle."

In the picture above, I totally thought Kanye was wearing Miss Jay's elimination coat from this season of America's Next Top Model.

Lindsay Lohan started shooting her guest spot on "Ugly Betty" yesterday. Lohan will play "a down-on-her-luck old high school pal of Betty." High school pal?! More like Betty's high school teacher!

A source told UsWeekly that Lohan was so excited to begin shooting that she showed up 45 minutes early. She didn't mean to show up early. Her agent told her there was an open bar. Tricked!

The source went on to say, "Lindsay and America [Ferrera] really hit it off!" Dyking out! Samantha Ronson won't be pleased.

Lohan's episode will air May 22nd. Her spokeswhore confirmed that she'll be in multiple episodes.

P.S. - Lohan should submit the picture above to the Los Angeles police department to keep on file. If she's ever arrested again, they can use it as her next mug shot. It will save time and money!

el·e·gant [el-i-guhnt] - gracefully refined and dignified

Yup, that pretty much describes Shauna Sand. It can also be used to describe her gorgeous lucite heels. When are those things going to make it into the Smithsonian already?

Here's Shauna working the valet stand with her equally stunning best friend, Tess Broussard.

Birthday: September 20, 1957
Age: 50
Birth Name: Alannah Currie

Original Date of HS of the Day: May 3, 2008
Claim to Fame: She was a member of the "Thompson Twins." " Hold me now, warm my heart
staaaaay with meeeee!"

Where is she now? Alannah lives in London where she works as a glass artist, environmental activist and artist-upholsterer. On May 8th, she will display several furniture pieces at the Ragged School in London under the moniker Miss Pokeno. Her pieces were made using dead animals. She told The Independent, "When you sit on them, you question the notion of comfort: what's behind you, what had to die to make the chair. I have deep-rooted problems with the notion of comfort. The ultimate comfort would be lying in an upholstered coffin."

Why is she HS of the Week? Because that Miss Pokeno shit is weird. Click here to see her work if you haven't already.

The latest trailer for "The Dark Knight" is out and I'm into it. I had to shut my eyes when Maggie Gyllenhaal appeared on my screen. Her mouth moves in slow motion. Ugh. They should have just cast the cat from the "Fancy Feast" commercials. That hot pussy would have given the same performance and he's fluffier. Fluffier is always better.

Maybe I'll just wait until this movie gets released by the subway DVD vendors. Have you ever seen one of those bootleg DVDs shot on a disposable camcorder in the theater? It's entertaining shit. Especially when you're drunk. You don't watch those DVDs for the movie, you watch them to hear the conversations in the theater. The shit people talk about in a dark movie theater. Maybe I'm just easily entertained. Yeah, that's it.

"The Real Housewives of New York City" might get a little YouTube star power added to its cast. Full Disclosure reports that producers want Tricia Walsh-Smith to join the other delusional and crazy hags for season 2.

An inside source said, "Nothing has been confirmed yet, but they think she would make a great addition to the show." Bravo said that the show has been picked up for a second season, but cast decisions have not yet been made.

Producers need to do whatever it takes to get Tricia on their show. Buy the woman a teepee or whatever the hell else she wants! Can you imagine Tricia and Ramona Singer going at it? Battle of the crazy eyes! Visine can sponsor it. Just the thought of their bulging eyes in the same room together makes my retinas sore.

Jamie Lynn's baby shower was yesterday and it featured a guest appearance by Brit Brit and her Reds. The ciggie, the shoes and the weave gave her away. She should have charged Jamie Lynn an appearance fee.

Them Spearses sure do have a fancy house! You know it smells like cat piss inside and I doubt they even have a cat! These shots totally reminds me of The Sims. The Sims: Trailer Trash With Money Edition! I'm surprised Bobby Joe didn't run out in the backyard waving a shot gun at the helicopters.

All this baby shower talk has me craving Gerbers bananas baby food topped with a little Cool Whip. Shut the hell up. It's a delicious desert snack.