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Phoebe Price should really consider moving to Cannes. They adore her there! They photograph her chicken cutlets every hour of the day. I'm not even posting half of the pictures they take of her. They can't get enough of her! The French must love poultry.

PP crashed show up to another Angelina Jolie premiere at Cannes today. She already attended the Kung Fu Panda premiere last week. You know she totally swiped Angie's itinerary. Well, PP is the next Angelina Jolie, so she's just training for her inevitable future by following Angie around. Angie better watch her man. No man can resist the warm and salty taste of chicken cutlets.

And PP kept flashing two fingers to the paps while on the red carpet. Is she trying to do a peace sign? It looks more like she's about to stick her tongue in between the V and make the "licking coochie" gesture. She's directing that towards Angie. No woman can resist the warm and salty taste of chicken cutlets either.

Anyway, the poor fools that had to share the red carpet with PP during tonight's "Changeling" premiere included Victoria Silvstedt, Sharon Stone and Dita Von Teese. Their beauty pales in comparison to the radiance of Phoebe Price!

Damn Cash Warren! He got MiserAlba on one of her off days when she was actually in a good mood. Cash somehow got MiserAlba to marry his sorry ass yesterday. MiserAlba's spokesbitch confirms the wedding to People.

MiserAlba, 27, is currently expecting a baby girl with Cash, 31, this summer. The two met while filming "Fantastic Four." They broke up for a short time and it was rumored that he cheated on her. Shortly after they got back together, she got knocked up.

I can't wait till to see the wedding pictures! MiserAlba better have a frown on her face in at least one of the pictures! Cash will be smiling in every single shot, because he's just won the lottery.....TWICE!

Shauna Sand can function without her exquisite lucite heels?! Say it ain't so! Shauna without her lucite heels is like a stripper without her....um......lucite heels! This is sad.

And look at the tacky shit she replaced her gorgeous lucite heels with! They look like gardening shoes! Broke stripper gardening shoes. You know Shauna kept falling all over the place throughout the day, because she wasn't wearing her main glamour source. Let this be a lesson to Shauna. She is nothing without her lucite heels and they are nothing without her!

Pete Wentz called into Ryan Seacrest's show on KIIS-FM this morning to discuss his wedding and other boring stuff. Pete said that Ashlee "legally is a Wentz ... I don't know what she'll do with her stage name, that's up to her. She hasn't decided that." She should change her stage name to Big Fug Asshole. It has a better ring to it then Ashlee Simpson or Ashlee Wentz.

Pete also said they signed a pre-nup. Damn, he's giving up all their business. I'm surprised he didn't talk about their wedding night. That's because they just flat-ironed each other's hair and tried out new brands of eyeliner.

The newlyweds are also skipping a honeymoon for now. He said they are just hanging out in the basement, "We got some blow-up palm trees. A little fake-n-bake tanning booth." They have no choice. Papa Joe locks them down there and only lets them come out for public appearances.

And when Ryan asked about the baby, Pete responded, "Ryan, this baby has not been confirmed. The only thing I'm confirming now is that we're in the basement on our honeymoon with these blow-up palm trees."

Yup, she's knocked up. And enough with this stupid basement! It sounds like hell down there anyway. Pete Wentz, his blow-up bride and a bunch of blow-up trees? No gracias.

Source: UsWeekly

Sienna Miller is reportedly close to splitting up with her alleged fiance, Rhys Ifans. Sadness. I really wanted to see Sienna in a bohemian mess of a wedding dress. The reason for this lovely pair's possible split? Jealousy! You see, Sienna loves partying and flirting with dudes and Rhys doesn't like it.

A source said, “Rhys gets very jealous - he hates her socializing with other men and always wants to know where she is and who she’s with. During a row she yelled at him: ‘It’s just like being with Jude’. Rhys freaked out, because he prides himself on being the laid-back opposite of Jude. But he just gets worked up seeing men admiring his girlfriend and trying to hit on her.”

“Rhys still seems madly in love with her but everyone’s speculating Sienna has grown out of the relationship.”

Rhys seems like a lovely dude, but Sienna can't help. She's a hardcore slut through and through. I'm speaking from experience. You can't change a slut's spots. Seriously, you can't, because a doctor hasn't invented the right ointment yet. I've tried everything to fix my slut "spots."

It sucks, because they really look lovely together. How often are you going to find someone that shares the same shade of Miss Clairol as you? Never!

I think I see tongue! Angelina Jolie shared a kiss on the red carpet with Clint Eastwood's wife, Dina, in Cannes today. They are totally fucking. You know they have foursomes. Well, threesomes and Clint watches in the corner with a bag of Werther's originals while wearing a heart monitor. I hope the unborn chosen ones covered their eyes and ears during this act of debauchery!

Here's Angie, her leeeeesbian lover, Clint Eastwood and Brad at the "Changeling" premiere in Cannes. If you like Angie's dress, you can probably find it in the "tent and shelters section" of your local camping supplies store.

DeAnna Pappas is back looking for love as "The Bachelorette." The show came back for its 4th seasons last night and I'm probably the only one who watched it.

I liked DeAnna when she got her heart torn to shreds by Brad on "The Bachelor," but I can't stand her ass anymore. They might as well have gotten a talking mannequin. The show isn't about the bachelorette, it's about the douche bags that are trying to win her love.

Most of these dudes are busted in the face! I mean, I would only do about 20 out of 25 of them and that's saying a lot, because I'll do anyone. There wasn't even that much drunken shenanigans! I mean, one dude jumped into the pool and then took off his clothes revealing a bikini with DeAnna's name on it. Unfortunately, he was a midget with a hatchet face! Of course, DeAnna kept him around.

She didn't keep my favorite dude, the oyster farmer. He's the only gentleman to give DeAnna a pearl necklace upon meeting her. He gave her a pearl necklace and she eliminated him! What a bitch. When a dude gives me a pearl necklace, I usually give him my checkbook. Dickmatized.

In the clip above, one of my other favorite dudes, Greg, shows DeAnna what she's missing after she eliminates him. Seriously, she's missing out. I'm sure he can crush beer cans with his ass cheeks and burp "Free Bird" too. Swooooon.

The worst tattoos on the planet - Radar

Reese Witherspoon is in a bikini, but Jakey Poo is fully clothed. Not right - Hollywood Tuna

Lily Allen is topless again - Egotastic!

Jessica Simpson is in Cabo without Romo - Popsugar

Petra Nemcova is Sean Penn's stalker - IDLYITW

Heidi & Spencer in yet another staged photo shoot - Just Jared

Monica Bellucci is hot - Hollywood Rag

Kenny Chesney is a whiny bitch - A Socialite's Life

Susanna Hoffs is 49?! - Cityrag

Lindsay Lohan in a bikini and a bed sheet (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

ANOTHER Vh1 reality show starring the slags of "Rock of Love" will premiere this Fall. I think Vh1 owns these hos. Vh1 is a pimp. Anyway, Sharon Osbourne has been announced as the host and mentor of "Rock of Love Girls: Charm School" which is a spin-off of both Charm School and Rock of Love. I'm so confused.

Breakout stars from both seasons of “Rock of Love” will come together under one roof to learn and grow in areas of etiquette, fashion, manners, and moderation. They will be refined in hopes to graduate “Charm School” as sophisticated and polite ladies. And who better to push these girls down the road to renewal and re-discovery than Sharon Osbourne. As Headmistress of “Charm School,” Sharon will attempt to strip the girls of their former rebellious and wild ways. And with some help from experts, hopefully transform the girls into fully rockin’ ladies.

The contestants will focus on one lesson a week followed by a demanding test. Whoever doesn’t measure up to the challenges of “Charm School” will be expelled. In the end, the last one standing will be rewarded with $100,000 to put towards her new and improved life.

Sharon Osbourne was chosen, because she's such a fucking lady.....and she was available for cheap.

A Wikipedia page has already gone up with a rumored cast featuring:

Rock of Love 1: Brandi, Rodeo, Dallas, Erin, Heather, Tiffany & Lacey
Rock of Love 2: Angelique, Aubry, Daisy, Destiney, Kristy Joe & Megan

Tiffany, Angelique, Heather AND Daisy in the same room together? I think I just caught syphilis and alcohol addiction just from typing out those four names in a row.

Vh1's other trainwreck of a show, "I Love Money" premieres July 13th.