Archives

Brit Brit has been looking like she's carrying a baba je'e in her belly, but her rep claims she's not. Wait, she still has a rep? So that's what London has been up to! London is working as Brit's spokesbitch. It's a good thing The Sun has a dog translator on staff. London said, “I want to make completely clear that Britney is not pregnant. There’s not going to be a statement – she’s just not.”

A friend also told The Sun, “It’s a mix of water retention, unflattering clothes and people liking to analyze everything she does. Britney’s getting herself together slowly but surely and isn’t going to mess that up. She’s far too busy to even be thinking about a baby right now.”

Water retention? Like that bitch drinks water. Kool-Aid retention, maybe. I figured it was pill bloat. Let's pray to the Gods above that Brit Brit isn't knocked up. The world is not equipped for an Adnan/Brit Brit love child. I'm assuming the baby daddy would be Adnan, but it could be anyone. It could be Adnan, Mel Gibson, Doogie Howser, Sam Lutfi, Chester Cheetah or......London. London! How could you? Why did you give Britney the lipstick?! Why!?

Image: Fame Pictures

Angie Jo already confirmed she was having twins, but she wouldn't say what the sex of her babies are. Fox's Roger Friedman spoke to Angie Jo last night at the party for "Kung Fu Panda" in Cannes and he may have found out the sex of the two chosen ones. He writes:

Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt’s twin girls likely will be fraternal, not identical. The stunning actress said "there was a line" on the sonogram that indicates her daughters are not going to be perfect copies of each other.

Roger said they have not picked names yet. I'm thinking Jennifer and Aniston.

More girls? It will be 4 to 2! They need to adopt 2 more dudes. I'll volunteer for the job. It's the perfect gig. I don't like walking and I look good in black. Brad will have to breastfeed me though. I hope his chichis can handle it.

Nikki Cox. WHY?! She used to be such a purty thing and now she looks like the Daughter of Wildenstein. Methinks Nikki had one of those caricatures drawn of her at an amusement park and immediately took the drawing to her plastic surgery and said to him, "I want to look like this!"

Shame.

Here's Nikki with her husband, Jay Mohr, at the CBS upfronts on Wednesday.

Stop everything! This is the worst news ever. Danny Noriega's gorgeous chola mother is not going to the Idol finale, because Danny Noriega isn't going! Danny posted a YouTube for his fans and he went off on American Idol for not inviting him to the finale. Danny had to track down the skanks who are in charge of tickets, but he was told the show was full. The other semi-finalists were also not invited.

Screw the finale! I was hoping for lovely close-ups of gorgeous chola mother and now my dreams have been shattered! I'm sure a bunch of FOX stars that nobody cares about will be sitting front row. Bump their asses off and give those tickets to gorgeous chola mother and her son.

I must go console myself by snuggling up to a Sharpie.

Video of Danny's rant below:

Source: Vote For The Worst

Thanks Ben

Rob Estes has signed on to star in the CW's "90210," completing the cast. Rob will play the new principal of West Beverly Hills High. He moves his family from Kansas to Beverly Hills to take care of his boozy mother played by Jessica Walter. Lori Loughlin will play his wife. The spin-off premieres this Fall.

Rob is best known for playing that hot bitch, Kyle McBride, on Melrose Place. Rob went on to marry Jane Mancini aka Josie Bissett. As much as I adored Beverly Hills 90210, Melrose Place was always my favorite. Sydney Andrews is the hottest woman to have ever graced my TV screen. Since we're talking about MP, below is one of my favorite moments between that hag Jane and the gorgeous Sydney. Sydney was so misunderstood!

Source: The Hollywood Reporter

First of all, that t-shirt should read Wonky McValtrex or Dumb Skank. She's not Paris Hilton anymore. Ugh. Only this skeezy would wear her fugly ass name on a t-shirt. She probably has her morning-after pills monogrammed with her name.

Anyway, this dumb whore told People that she is already thinking of marrying her gross ass boyfriend. They haven't even been dating for 3 months.

Wonky said she's already been thinking about her wedding dress, "I'd wear a beautiful white dress, probably Dolce & Gabbana." White?! In all fairness, Wonky has probably spent most of the last 10 years with white loads all over her face, so I can understand why white is special to her. She should wear white, so should he. Huge white bags over their nasty faces.

Wonky said gross boyfriend is different than any other guy she's dated, "He's worked very hard on his own. He really has a heart of gold. He'd never do anything to hurt me. He loves and supports me no matter what. He's a really great person." She forgot to mention that he's also the only dude that will pop her vag pimples with his teeth. Ok, that was nasty.

Rush & Molly reports that a new book called "Hollywood Babylon: It's Back" comes out June 1st and promises to feature full-frontal nude shots of Daniel Radcliffe, Ewan McGregor, Richard Gere, John Malcovich and more. The book also claims Johnny Depp is known as "donkey dick." Sean Connery also has a huge one. Mmm....I'll be having salchicha for lunch!

The book doesn't only cover celebrity peen. It also claims some scandalous shit. Here's just some juicy shit the book claims:

Marilyn Monroe had an affair with Ronald Reagan

Marilyn had a fling with Joan Crawford, but ended it. Marilyn told Shelley Winters, "She had bad breath. Besides, she wanted to do things to me that no woman should do to another woman."

James Dean showed a disconcerting interest in a 12-year-old boy. Elia Kazan, "I've known many actors who have been twisted up in their sex lives, but never anybody as sick and unhealthy as Dean was."

Elvis Presley got it on with Nick Adam

Lucille Ball was a hooker before she was famous. Desi Arnaz had a fling with Cesar Romero.

Cary Grant had an incestuous relationship with his stepson

Strange things happened to Judy Garland's dead body (this in the chapter on "Fan Worship and Necrophilia").

I'm not sure any of this crap is true, but that's not stopping me from heading over to Amazon and pre-ordering this mess. I'm doing it for the celebrity peen!

Source: Rush & Molloy

Earlier I posted a cracked out video of Wino and Dreamboat playing with kittens. Well, this one is worse. Sid & Nancy don't have anything on these two crackheads. They look like they are going to eat those baby mice! There was a time when I'd let Dreamboat finger bang my no-no area, but not anymore! Those fingers are fucking illegal. Wino and Dreamy look like crack zombies that just dug themselves out of their own graves.

This is like watching a trainwreck in slooooow motion.

Thanks Andrea

Audrina from "The Hills" on the set of her new movie. She was hired for her amazing fake titties acting talents - Just Jared

Jennifer Aniston's ass from above (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

The gayest event in history - Towleroad

Agneyss Deyn's platinum hair goes with her platinum bush - Egotastic!

Matthew McConaughey given a year supply of free deodorant - Hollywood Rag

Asshole Simpson had a boring bachelorette party - A Socialite's Life

The Def Jam detox? - IDLYITW

Suri Cruise puts on her tap shoes - Popsugar

Sumo car wash! - Cityrag

Jordan goes topless in Cannes - Hollywood Tuna

Correction: ScarJo shouldn't sing AT ALL. Above is ScarJo performing "Falling Down" from her new album during AOL's Live Sessions. The bitch sounds like Sinead O'Connor on testosterone. ScarJo needs to "fall down" a damn well already.

Click here if you can't see the video above