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Amy Wino and her friend and guitarist, Kristian Marr, arrived at her house late last night from the country. Kristian was asleep in the car, so Wino decided to leave him there and she went inside. Kristian woke up a little while later and instead of going on home, he broke into Wino's garage. He curled up and tried to get some sleep on her garage floor, but was interrupted by the fuzz.

He told them he was staying with Wino. They tried to reach Wino, but her ass was dead asleep. Kristian is Sadie Frost's boyfriend and he tried to contact her too, but she was also busy getting her beauty sleep. When crackheads finally fall asleep, they sleep for real.

Kristian was finally taken off to the police station. I blame Wino. You know she gave him some of that bad shit. The kind of bad shit that only Wino can handle. I swear, crackies do the strangest things.

Here's more pics of crackie Kristian getting busted by the police and also some pics of Wino walking around barefoot earlier yesterday. The hive is growing. It's aaaaaaalive!

The comments are shooting out of me like Billy Ray's......I need to stop. The joke tells itself.

Brit Brit rear-ended ANOTHER car today. TMZ reports that Brit Brit was stopped at a red light on Sunset Blvd. in Beverly Hills. For some reason, Brit hit the gas even though the light was still red, hitting a Ford Explorer in front of her.

Brit stayed in the car while her bodyguard got out to talk to the lady in the Explorer. Apparently, nobody was visibly hurt. The lady is currently following Brit back to her house.

She probably dropped a Cheeto, bent down to get it and hit the gas with her wedge flip-flop. Brit needs to leave the driving to the professionals. She should just take her place in the passenger seat where she can play with her gum all she wants and make frapp bubbles with her mouth.

Oh and these pictures are from yesterday, not today. There's totally frapp dust in that water. She has to get her fix somehow.

Dreamboat Doherty said he realized he had to give up drugs after he tried kill one of his cats with a shovel. Dreamboat's pussies deserve the purple heart. They've been forced to smoke crack and they've escaped death by shovel beating.

Dreamboat told The Mirror, "I got a shovel and was going to kill one of the cats. That was when I was, like, you know, 'I'm a bit of a mess'. It was a bit of a crazy time."

Maybe, we should send over Animal Police: London (I don't think that show exists over there) to pay a little unannounced visit to Dreamboat. By "unannounced visit," I mean save those fucking pussies before it's too late.

Gay Al has taken to his MySpace to blog about his divorce to Star Jones. Gay Al has asked all of us to walk in his shoes "for a few hours." I would, but stilettos aren't my flavor. Gay Al has the calves for those things. I don't.

The post is long, so fly on over to Gay Al's fairy kingdom if you want to read the whole thing. Here's parts of it:

Dear Friends: If you think you are having a tough day, may I propose you walk in my shoes for a few hours. In my mind, it feels like “Dump on Al Month.” And I’m not having fun yet. I have been called a gigolo, a freeloader, unemployed, a sham and many other things that don’t bear repeating. People on television, radio and the internet have spoken disparagingly of my life, my sexuality, my career and my integrity. The media has barraged me (at my home), my friends, my family(including my 79 year old mother), my college classmates, my students and my professional colleagues. Yet, despite this intense level of provocation, I have said nothing. My Publicist has put out a one sentence statement: “We’re taking the high road.” And we have and will continue on that path. As much as I want to defend myself, it seems like a silly and futile exercise. It’s clear that the media doesn’t want to let the truth get in the way of a good story. I hate to ruin their fun. I take great comfort in the fact that my loved ones and those people who really know me continue to love and respect me. Thank you “all” for the endless emails, phone calls and words of encouragement. I know in my heart that I entered my marriage with love and the best of intentions and leave it with great sadness that it didn’t work.

What I want people to know is that I am not the caricature portrayed by the media. I am complex, contradictory and capable of great intelligence but also remarkable stupidity. In other words, I am a human being. To me, labels are for clothes, not people. So…..Please don’t try to define me; don’t try to categorize me; and most of all, don’t label me. Instead, JUST GET TO KNOW ME. And if you see me, just call me Al.

I'm pretty sure it's "Dump on Al Day" once a month at The Loading Zone in Miami.

Aww...poor Gay Al! He has a friend in me. If homegirl ever called me crying, because his 12-man tag team party ran out of lube, I'd immediately drop my pancake sandwich and head on over with a fresh cup of WET for him to borrow. That's what friends are for.

VIA People

Don't say Charlize Theron's beauty is overrated. Don't say it! Don't! I said, don't say it!

Who cares if her dress is one of Charo's old ones or if her shoes were bought from a 90-year-old's estate sale. The woman is magic! She's the only female I would let touch my no-no hole. That private place is only meant for...for....well...any dude with a working dick. A working dick and a pulse! I'm not into that dead sex shit.

Here's Charlize showing these dumb tramps how it's done at the Christian Dior Cruise collection in NYC yesterday.

Shayne Lamas, the winner of The Bachelor, is celebrating her engagement to Matt Grant by posing in Girls Gone Wild magazine. Shauna Sand must be proud.

22-year-old Shayne is featured in a six-page photo spread. The spread features no nudity. Boring! She's saving showing off her chocha and nippies for Penthouse when her fake ass engagement to Matt expires.

Girls Gone Wild magazine?! What does the ultra-sophisticated Lorenzo Lamas have to say about this? He's probably going to have the magazine framed and put over his bathroom toilet.

Actually, I think this makes me love Shayne's trashy ass even more. I mean, Girls Gone Wild?!

VIA People

I don't know what's more upsetting? The fact that the Real World is entering its 21st season or that it has chosen Brooklyn as its next location. 21 fucking seasons?! I can't believe they are still able to find fools who want to get drunk and vomit on basic cable television.

Shooting for Real World 21 begins this summer in Brooklyn. The show's co-creator sent Gothamist this release, "The Brooklyn season, like the Hollywood season, will focus on what people loved about 'The Real World' when it launched in 1992 - genuine people, meaningful conflict and powerful stories." Um...didn't the Hollywood season feature a bunch of skanks who got drunk and fucked each other? Really meaningful and powerful.

It's not know what part of Brooklyn the producers have chosen to terrorize, but some think it's going to be Williamsburg. Personally, I they should put that shit in East New York or Coney Island. Watching the locals beat the hell out of these wannabe whores will make it the best season ever.

Image: Gothamist

Gokhan Mutlu has filed a $2 million lawsuit against JetBlue Airways claiming they made him sit in the bathroom for part of his flight. In court papers, Gokhan said the pilot of his full Feb. 28 flight from San Diego to New York ordered him to give up his seat to a flight attendant who wanted to be more comfortable than she was in her jump seat.

They told him he could go sit in the toilet. WTF! The pilot told him the jumper seat was for personnel only. And he went! Gokhan said, "They put me in the toilet. I don't feel good about it. I don't feel good about it at all." Gokhan sat in there through turbulence without a seatbelt on.

Gokhan also claimed that while he was sitting in the bathroom, he opened the door and was laughed at by two male flight attendents. Those bitchy queens! He said that while everyone enjoyed their in-flight entertainment he had to "flush the toilet and hear the sound of water for entertainment."

JetBlue would not comment. They claimed they had not seen the lawsuit yet.

If this shit is true then Gokhan has to be the dumbest bitch ever. How the hell are you going to let some asshole tell you to go and sit in the shitter during a flight? I would have created a fucking shit storm. They would have had to call in the military, UFOs and Superman to control my age.

I also think we might have found Pam Babcock aka toilet lady a new man. He only sat there for 3 hours, but she can train him to sit longer. Love on the toilet seat.

Source

Chichis are better than pillows. I'm gayer than a pair of giant pink bunny slippers and I still like taking chichi naps. It's better than Arby's horsey sauce. Brad looks like he could use a nap on those chichis. The bitch looks tired.

Pax is thinking, "Why did they do this to my hair?" Maddox is thinking, "Yeah, I got this."

Here's Maddox and his court on a yacht in Monaco today.