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White Oprah recently said that Lindsay and Samantha Ronson were "just friends." Now she's changing her tune. White Oprah wouldn't confirm or deny the rumors to OK! Magazine. She only said, "If she's happy, I'm happy. That's all I'll say. Samantha's great. I've known her and her family for ten years." Ugh! White Oprah would be the type of bitch that says "that's all I'll say" and then keeps yapping. Don't her nasty ass gums ever get dry? She probably moisturizes them with Lindsay's skin grease.

Please, White Oprah is so full of caca. She should have told the truth and said, "I don't give a fuck who Lezzy eats as long as she keeps signing those checks."

In other Lezzy news, White Oprah confirmed that her daughter was at the hospital yesterday for "asthma" issues. Yesterday, Lindsay's rep lied and said she was just "visiting a friend" with SamRo.

White Oprah told People, "She was losing oxygen. She couldn't breathe. She was afraid to go the hospital because [the paparazzi] were gonna write about it. She was sick. If you were sick, and you're mother couldn't even take you to a hospital because paparazzi will fabricate some story, you know, it's sad. It's really sad." No, what's sad is that White Oprah would have brought reality show cameras with her.

Asthma my ass! The dildo probably got stuck. It happens.

It took me like 10 times to count how many words made up "A Shauna Sand Reality Show." Hopefully, I got it right. If not, suck it anyway. So..... Shauna Sand was outside some joint with her daughters last night looking like mother of the year. This woman is consistent. Consistently glamorous! Since Shauna is putting out a shoe collection, she really needs to make exquisite lucite heels for young girls. I hurt when I see Shauna Sand's daughters wearing common chonklas and slip-ons.

Earlier in the day, Shauna was working her usual corner in Hollywood. No, she was getting some free crap at the Platinum Gifting Lounge at the W Hotel. Shauna showed up with her estranged husband, Romain Chavent. They were supposed to get divorced, but it looks like they fucked and made up. That's not even the good news. Shauna told the photographer that she's going to star in a reality show with her husband. The show will follow their journey of "falling back in love" together.

This sounds like the greatest television experience of all time. Shauna Sand, lucite heels, a hot French dude and a love story? Shauna better clear her mantle, because she's going to get an Oscar, Grammy, Emmy, Nobel Peace Prize, Peabody Award and AVN Award for this shit! Amazing.

Here's more pics of Shauna with her daughters last night and with her husband earlier in the day.

Hmmm....I wonder which one lives on the roof and which one lives in the basement? Hugh Jackman looks like a power bottom screamer. A screamer in wolf's clothing.

Hugh and his lovely friend went for an early morning swim at Bondi Beach in Australia on Saturday. Unfortunately, they didn't touch each other in front of the paps. Rude! They could at least kiss each other's nipples. Just once!

The granny is back in her panties! Madonna has a new video out for "Give It 2 Me." The beginning looks like an ad for American Apparel's new senior citizens collection. The rest of the video is just Madonna dancing around and thrusting her memaw crotch. You know, any video with Pharrell in it can't be that horrific.

If this shit gets pulled (which it will and I'm too lazy to babysit), click here for more.

Thanks Ceyhun

How is Suri functioning without a full bottle of barley water? They are probably injecting her ass with it, because they get so much crap for keeping her on the bottle. Suri needs her barley fix! Suri also needs to call up Ken Paves on her robot phone and schedule an appointment STAT! She needs to cut that alien bob. Homegirl needs her own identity. She's looking like Tommy Girl Jr. and that is not good for her reputation.

Here's Suri, Tommy Girl, Katie and Katie's parents getting into a hearse in Beverly Hills last night. Suri's memaw looks like Jane Lynch in a silver wig. Shit, it probably IS Jane Lynch. Tommy Girl cast her ass to play Katie's mommy.

Seeing pictures of LaToya Jackson always brings a smile to my face. My smile quickly turns into a grimace, because I don't understand how a plastic surgeon is still able to eff with her face. I would think that even the slightest touch of a scalpel would make her entire head deflate. Toy needs to be stamped with a giant "expired," so that plastic surgeons knows not to mess with her anymore. What's done is done.

One thing I do love about Toy is that she can be almost any hot fucking mess. With a few minor adjustments, she can be Fergie, Mariah, Charo or Jacko. All the great lady messes of music!

Here's Toy celebrating her 52nd birfday in Las Vegas last night with RuPaul. Why is she doing jazzercise moves on the red carpet?

The Crackie of Camden returned to the stage last night at Portugal's Rock In Rio festival. In true Wino fashion, she showed up an hour later. Damn, she's like all my family members. You tell them 2pm and those dumb skanks will show up at 4pm and not even apologize! They stroll in like they're early. The nerve. At least Wino apologized to the 90,000 people waiting for her ass.

They booed her when she didn't show up on time, but she tried to fix things by telling them, "Hey Lisbon. I'm sorry I'm late." She then asked if anyone had a one-hitter. Ok, not really, but she thought about it I'm sure.

She played for 55 minutes and her voice cracked a couple of times in her set. She told the audience she was having throat issues. Welcome to my world, Wino. She sucked on lozenges the whole time and even ran off stage at one point, but she immediately returned. She didn't play an encore, but most of the crowd was over her ass by then.

Some hot bitch compiled a video of some of Wino's strangest moments last night. I still love her heroin shimmy. I picture the pulgas in her crack hive having a big ass party when she starts to shake. And yes, she's fuckity fucked up. What's new? Clip below:

I'm totally being generous by giving them 6 months, but by the looks of Brooke Mueller it could take her a few to figure out what's really going on. As expected, Charlie Sheen and his prostitute tranny infested sperm married real estate investor Brooke Mueller last night in Los Angeles. Real estate investor? Jeff Lewis from "Flipping Out" she's not! By the by, I'm so fucking excited about Flipping Out coming back. My soul has been empty without Zoila.

Charlie, 42, and Brooke, 30, exchanged lies in front of like 60 dumb bitches who probably laughed the entire time. Well, Charlie saying "I promise to be loyal" is like hearing a hilarious punchline. It is a punchline!

The two became engaged last June in Costa Rica. Probably minutes after Charlie's sperm was infested by another prostitute tranny. Speaking of, it's rumored that Brooke is knocked up with their prostitute tranny baby. I can't what to hear what Denise Richards has to say about this.

Unfortunately, robot call girl did not crash the wedding with her shitty pigs in tow.

Heather Thomas from "The Fall Guy" - Heather is also a writer and political activist. I saw her hot ass on "Chelsea Lately" last night and she's 50!

Here's what she looks like now: