Archives

John McCain so has this presidency locked up! He already has Heidi Montag's endorsement and now he can add the elegant Shauna Sand to his long list of prostitute supporters. TMZ caught up with Shauna last night as she was working the stroll. Shauna said she's voting for McCain and "absolutely" thinks he'll make a great president. She said all of this while shivering her plastic tits off. I guess plastic doesn't keep you warm.

Shauna just got back from Miami where she said she was doing "print, film, tv, everything..." for work. I'm guessing the everything means porn. Well, a mother has to feed her children!

Oh and Shauna's face is slowly turning into Joan Van Ark's mask of destruction.

Something tells me Joan Rivers switched surgeons and the new one tightened up her mask a little too much. Yeah, she goes in for routine tightening the way some kids go to get their braces tightened regularly. Joan has unleashed her memaw grouchiness on Posh Beckham.

Joan told OK! Magazine, "I dislike Victoria Beckham. The entitlement - the total entitlement. You want to say: ‘Calm down, you were a Spice Girl.’ The arrogance when she walks into a room is astonishing.”

And you're a Muppet, Joan. NEXT! Seriously, what's the problem? Spice Girl? Yes. Arrogant? Yes. And? That's all Joan has? She's stating the obvious.

Joan needs to go for the aorta. Call Posh a fat ass or something. We need to get Posh angry with Joan, so we can stage an oil wrestling match between the two. Maybe that's not a good idea. The only losers would be us, because we'd have to see these two greasy chicken bones in bikinis.

This story right here would make an awesome Lifetime original movie starring Rob Lowe as himself, Tori Spelling and Tracey Gould. The premise? Rob has accused a former babysitter of trying to extort money from him and his wife, Sheryl. Is it just me or does Sheryl sort of look like Gwyneth Paltrow in a fat suit in Shallow Hal?

Anuway, Rob wrote a blog post for The Huffington Post called "Household Betrayal." And there's our title! In the post, Rob said this woman wants $1.5 million by the end of the week or she will spread a bunch of vicious lies about them. What kind of lies? It couldn't be any worse than a sex tape with a 16-year-old girl.

Rob writes, "My family is devastated at this betrayal; this woman worked in our home and traveled with us off and on for seven years, without complaint." Rob went on to post two friendly text messages they received from the woman after she quit proving that they split on good terms.

He said the girl had several personal problems and they tried to help her, "During her time in our home my wife tried to mentor this young woman. She took her into her confidence. We took her into our hearts. Having 18 years of sobriety, both my wife and I tried to be supportive as she struggled with personal issues. But we never saw this coming. Apparently, she wanted more. Recently, a colleague of hers has come forward to reveal that this young woman had 'a crush' on me and told her on many occasions, 'I wish he would get a divorce.'"

The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world! Rob should rent that movie reference and for the hot scene where Becky DeMornay tells Annabella Sciorra, "When your husband makes love to you, it's MY face he sees. When your baby's hungry, it's MY breast that feeds him. Look at you! When push comes to shove... you can't even breathe!"

VIA People

I always knew the Lifetime channel was a homewrecking slut pretending to be a middle-aged virgin. It was announced today that Lifetime has stolen Bravo's hit show, "Project Runway," away from them. Lifetime signed a 5-year deal with The Weinstein Company to move the show beginning this November.

Bravo's owner, NBC, brought out the claws and filed a lawsuit against The Weinstein Company for taking their prized whore away. The Weinstein's lawyers said, "While good for the market for lawyers, it is always unfortunate when parties try to win in court what they have lost in the marketplace." Cat fight!

Does this mean they are going to replace Heidi, Nina and Michael with Blanche, Dorothy and Rose? I fucking hope so!

This might not be such a bad thing. Any network that is home to Project Runway, reruns of The Golden Girls and original movies like "The Fantasia Barrino Story" and "Mother, May I Sleep With Danger" might be the greatest network on the planet.

Source: Variety

Tom Ford arrived at LAX yesterday in an ensemble for first-class and private plane riding only. When you've got a nosy brat behind you kicking your seat and a fat heifer in front of you with their seat all the way in your lap, the last thing you want to be wearing is that shit. You want to be some nasty ass sweats and an XL sweatshirt.

Tom Ford looks like he's about to steal my heart and the Russian plans with a seductive tango. If there ever was a gay Bond, this is him.

Tom is probably one of those bitches that spends an hour grooming before sexy times. They have to perfectly trim their pubes, get the nipples perky and douche the anus. I had a one-nighter once that spent a good 45-minutes douching the hole. Through the bathroom door, all I could hear was running water and lots of gushing. It almost made me walk out, but I'm a slut, so I stayed.

Here's more snaps of Gay Bond at LAX.

E! has announced that Pamela Anderson will star in an "observational documentary series" that debuts this Summer. Bitch please! It's called a reality show. Why the fuck are they trying to maker her sound all high-class. We've seen the woman suck dick. It's called a reality show.

E! said, "E!'s cameras capture Pam's fabulous adventures, emotional journey and all the surprises that come along the way. It's going to be a wild ride." I'm sure it will be. Have your medication handy.

Obviously, Pamela was going to do a reality show at some point. She's done everything already. She's been a porn star, magician's ho, B-movie actress, syndicated television star, cartoon character and stripper.

This Summer will be all about old whores in reality shows. White Oprah, Denise Richards and now Pamela Anderson. The reality whore trinity!

Here's some pics of Pamela orally destroying a hot dog at one of her son's games this past weekend. You know all the dad's were pitching tents at that shit.

Wonky McValtrex infected Montreal this weekend by appearing at Browns in Montreal. She was there to hawk her whore horse shoes.

A department store is not the place for this skank to be selling her wares. She should have set up shop next to the baked potato bar at the local drag club. Drag queens love baked potatoes and they love whore shoes.

Wonky's skeeza skin is looking so....smoth? Wentz jizz must be doing the trick.

Destiney was obviously not there for Bret. I mean, she decided not to get the words "Rock of Love" tattooed on her neck , but just the douchey logo of a heart and two swords. Destiney felt it might be too much with the words Rock of Love on it too. She is sooo not Heather. What Destiney needs to do is stop playing around with tattoos, walk down to the name-changing office and take the extra e off of her fucking name! She probably thinks the extra "e" stands for elegant. Stupid bitch!

It was a parent's night on Rock of Love which was nothing like last season. It was pretty much a bore. Except for the part where Ambre's (AGAIN, WTF is up with the names) dad slipped her real age. She told Bret she was 32 when she's really 37. In actuality, she's probably 44. Let's be real.

My favorite moments of the show came towards elimination. The first is when Bret said this to Daisy, "You don't have just kind of a closet you have a sort of......walk-in garage of a certain amount of skeletons that I feel we're working really hard to get through." A walk-in garage?! As opposed to.....

Below is my second favorite moment during elimination when Daisy's rubber face goes after Destiney. Destiney fires back and doesn't take one breath, "I auditioned for the first season I wanted to be here so bad I could barely watch it cause it torn me up inside because I wanted to be a part of it." Something tells me she's already torn up inside, but from something else....

Also, visit Jezebel to see pics of Bret without his bandanna! He's very Charlize Theron in Monster.

Insert joke here - Just Jared

Ellen Page is topless and hairy - Egotastic!

JLove's big ass on the prairie - Hollywood Tuna

Breaking! Britney's outfit matches...sort of - Popsugar

This pretty much sums up the Kardashians - IDLYITW

Vanessa Hudgens is a slob (site NSFW) - Drunken Stepfather

Miley Cyrus can't drive, but is already shopping for a Porsche - A Socialite's Life

Kate Moss bought her own engagement ring - Hollywood Rag

Woody Harrelson's naked ass - Cityrag

Photoshop Is Not Your Friend: Vanessa Williams on Ebony Magazine - Concrete Loop

Carrie Underwears was at Idol Gives Back last night where she seemed annoyed when asked about her split with that frosty homo Chace Crawford. Carrie chirped that it was soooo long ago and they broke up via text message, so it wasn't even that big of a deal.

She told Extra, "We broke up over text so... it's like 'peace out.' I don't know why it's all out now, when you break up with somebody and then like two months later it comes out, it's like you're rehashing old stuff." It was probably a short text, "gurl its ova im BI" Freudian slip!

It worked! Doing important shit like this over electronic devices is awesome. Nothing makes me happier than calling in sick through voicemail. The problem is that sometimes your boss picks up. That's why you have to call at like 5am.

I still think the best way to dump someone is over an expensive dinner. You tell them right before the check comes and they will be so hurt and disgusted with you that they will immediately order you to get the fuck out of their face. Instant free din din!

Here's Underwears wearing the vomit of a hundred bridesmaid dresses at Idol Gives Back last night.