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This is definitely the most clothes I've ever seen Jodie Marsh wear. She looks like she's about to have tea with the Queen. A fucking lady. She also looks like she's smuggling two watermelons in a picnic tablecloth. I can't believe this ho got another tit job. What she really needs is a schnoze tune-up. That nose looks like it's been dick slapped one too many times. That being said, she's still a stunning and elegant lady.

Here's Jodie at the "Three and Out" charity premiere tonight in London. That's funny, because three and out is usually a normal night for Jodie. Three dicks in, three dicks out. Jodie's boyfriend was her escort this evening. He looks like he speaks fluent douche.

Some dumb bitch better not be playing a bad joke on all of us. This is not a laughing matter, because my soul needs this to happen. A Wikipedia page has gone up for a new Vh1 show called "I Love Money." The show is supposed to debut this July. It's a spin-off featuring the skanks, whores and douches from "Flavor of Love," "I Love New York" and "Rock of Love."

This co-ed battle between reality stars will throw contestants from each of those shows in a mansion in Huatulco, Mexico and have them battle each other. Similar to MTV's Real World/Road Rules Challenge, these reality show stars will be fighting physically and mentally to take home $100,000. Production started in early February, 2008, and is wrapping up in March.

They had to film in Mexico, because you can get a Valtrex there without a prescription. The US Center for Disease Control also banned the producers from bringing all these disease-ridden skanks together in one house in the US. That scenario has the makings of a Super-STD!

This is the supposed cast:

Host: LaLa

Pumkin (Flavor of Love, Season 1)
Hoopz (Flavor of Love, Season 1)
Toasteee (Flavor of Love, 2)
Nibblz (Flavor of Love, Season 2)
Bootz (Flavor of Love, Season 2)
Sinceer (Flavor of Love, Season 3)
Thing 1 (Flavor of Love, Season 3)
Thing 2 (Flavor of Love, Season 3)
Chance (I Love New York, Season 1)
Real (I Love New York, Season 1)
Heat (I Love New York, Season 1)
12 Pack (I Love New York, Season 1)
Whiteboy (I Love New York, Season 1)
The Entertainer (I Love New York, Season 2)
Midget Mac (I Love New York, Season 2)
Heather (Rock of Love, Season 1)
Brandi C. (Rock of Love, Season 1)
Destiney (Rock of Love, Season 2)
Megan (Rock of Love, Season 2)
Kristy Joe (Rock of Love, Season 2)

This is the greatest cast ever assembled for a television event. Bootz, Heather and Pumkin in one room? I can already smell the delicious aroma of whore blood, weave glue and sperm spit.

VIA Crunk + Disorderly

Bill Maher seriously gets all the hot pieces and I'm sure he pay tops dollar for that shit. I always feel sorry for the call girls that have to suck old man dick to pay their rent. Hopefully, Bill Maher is helping them out by popping the Viagra. Nothing is worse then sucking on old soft dick. You can get arthritis in the jaw from trying to turn old soft dick into old hard dick. It's a losing battle. Trust me.

Here's Bill and his "friend" leaving dinner last night.

The gardener from Desperate Housewives got hairy! I refuse to believe that Jesse Metcalfe is capable of growing body hair, so I'm just going to assume he glued fake hair to his chest and nips for these pictures that were uploaded to his MySpace.

I'm not going to lie. I'd motorboat! It might be a little difficult since it looks like he just has one giant moob. Hey, one giant moob equals one giant party!

Viva Hollywood is a fucking mess. You know that any show with Walter Mercado AND Maria Conchita Alonso is a ride on the tacky train.

Last night, the contestants were forced to do sexy scenes with each other. Vinci and Berto were told they had to play gay. Vinci flipped out and locked himself in the bathroom like a little bitch. The guest coach, Cristian de la Fuente, had to talk Vinci out of the bathroom. Cristian told him this was all part of acting and went on to say, "sometimes I have to do scenes with 60-year-old women." Cristian is talking about Dixie Carter! He had to sex her hot ass on "Family Law."

Anuway, Vinci cried about it and wanted to go home. Dude needed to wipe those tears, bend over and take it like a real gay. If he wants to make it in Hollywood, he's probably going to have to suck dick for real. What if Bryan Singer said to him, "Toss my salad and I'll make you the next Superman." Is he going to cry about it or is he going to turn his tongue into tongs and start tossing?

In the end, the scene worked out and Berto won the challenge for playing gay.

You might remember Vinci from that MTV shit show "8th and Ocean." He was an annoying douce then and he's an annoying douche now.

Below is the clip of Vinci crying about having to play homo:

Damn, they look like they are about to beat some ass. That's ok! Carlos Leon can beat the fuck out of my ass any day of the week. No wonder Madonna chose him as her sperm donor. The bitch is hot. He might be on the short side, but that doesn't matter when you're bumping it in the bathroom stall.

Here's Lourdes with her daddy walking the streets of NYC yesterday. I always try to look like that when I'm strolling down the sidewalk, but I usually end up tripping over myself.

These pictures look like the aftermath of a Smurf orgy! Blue spunk everywhere. It's actually pictures of Tony Romo's 28th Birthday party on Saturday night in Dallas.

People reports that Jessica sang "Happy Birthday" to Romo and then they fed each other blue cake. Sick bitches! A party guest said, "She licked cake from his face as everyone cheered them on. It was quite a spectacle. But they looked really happy together. Jessica had blue icing all over her hands and mouth and Tony was laughing." Yeah, laughing at her. He was totally thinking what we're all thinking, "the bitch looks like Papa Smurf dropped a load on her."

Papa Joe is going to pretend like he doesn't like these pictures, but I bet they are going right under his pillow.

Click here to see more pics from the Smurf orgy

I was hoping that last night's Rock of Love 2 Reunion would be a massive herpes flare up. It was only a minor case of the crabs. There was only one cat fight and a couple of bitch matches. I wanted a major skank brawl before every commercial break!

One of the hottest moments came when Angelique and Aubry got into it. Angelique hit the whore on the head when she said, "Aubry you look like a rat on crack." Aubry fired back by saying Angelique looks like a tranny. Pot calling the kettle tranny! Aubrey looks like a tranny rat on crack. How about that?

Angelique also said she quit stripping, but I'm sure that means she's doing porn full-time now.

The show also reunited Bret with that old hag Ambre. It was kind of gross watching them fake snuggle. It's like walking in our daddy doing your mommy from the back. It's totally uncomfortable and not something you ever need to see in life.

The other hot moment came when Heather beat down the plastic muppet. I posted the clip last week, but here it is again! Daisy's weave makes Brit Brit's look like gorgeous Lady Godiva hair.

I feel all itchy just looking at these pictures of Princess Tiaamii with chicken pox. Although, last night's activities could be the reason for my itchiness. I'll discuss with the Rite-Aid pharmacist later.

Anyway, even though Tiaamii is looked miserable, Katie Price and Peter Andre could not miss an opportunity for a little pap action. Tia would rather be home in a tub, catching up on her stories than gallivanting around town with these two baffoons.

They spent their day lunching at The Ivy and shopping at Kitson. Their fun was cut short, because they had to rush Tiaamii to the clinic. They probably barely realized she had chicken pox. They are too busy focusing on their orange asses.

Katie and Peter are currently in Los Angeles for three weeks while they film their reality show. Harvey is apparently also there, but I haven't seen his ass! He's too busy working on his modeling career.

I seriously have the itchies now. Gross. Excuse me while I douse myself in powder.

Emma Watson has good timing. The girl left her 18-year-old Birthday party, slid into the car and flashed a little LEGAL chocha. The girl was wearing panties, but they were see-through. The girl is a millionaire! She could afford to wax that shit. Well, unless Hairy Potter likes it hairy?

Kids grow up so fast these days. One minute they are playing with legos and the next minute, they are flashing their hoohas for the world to see.